Getting Laid on the First Date and FBs

[Guest]

Okay, so I finally got laid on a first date tonight by a girl I met Saturday night! This is a big break through for me because I used to only get make outs and maybe some titty sucking. I basically gamed the girl like I was going for an SNL at the bar (highly sexual talk, lots of kino, etc.). After sex she did the common, what are you thinking bs and asked how many one night stands I have had. I dodged both questions rather successfully but I could tell she was trying to get me into deep comfort.

There are a couple issues here. First of all, in order to improve I really want to just have this girl as an FB and not get tied down. But, I actually kind of like this girl. She is fucking hilarious, fun to be around, and sexy as hell. In order to do the FB deal, when should I contact her again? We originally planned to go to a wine bar on Tuesday but it seems like this may be to early and may send the wrong message. Could I just tell her next time we have sex that I don't want a relationship?

Anyway, I posted CJs FB rules below in case anyone wants to see them.

[quote]1) Stay away from "Relationship" talk - if it does come up I C&F my way around and change the subject...

2) Don't meet with her unless you know you are going to fuck her.

3) Do NOT talk about life plans, or ask her about her family, or plan anything more than a few days in the future... (You CAN do this later AFTER she is an established FB - I waited 3 months)

4) Do NOT call just to chat...

5) Only sms her if you are going to invite her over to fuck (related to #2)

6) Don't see her on a regular basis. And, DO NOT go out with her on Fri/Sat nights.

7) Try not to meet with her friends. If her girlfriends like you they WILL start putting BF thoughts into her head. I LOST a fine FB Black Girl that way...

8) I don't talk about other women and I NEVER ask her about what her and her friends did last weekend. If she asks me I just say, "My friends and I went out and had a blast!"
[/quote]

[Guest]

It's a delicate line to walk. Basically, if you do anything that's listed above, they'll think you are a needy loser who wants a relationship and dump you. Whether you want FB or a relationship, basically, if you just want to see her again, the above is good advice.

You can't come off as a player either.

The challenge for me is sleeping with them 5 to 7 times. That's what is REALLY challenging with women. One night lays are pretty easy, but if you can manage to not fuck things up, 5 to 7 lays is a milestone. She'll start to fall for you at that point. Lots of women pull away for whatever reason before you get there. That's why it's so hard to lay the same woman 5 to 7 times. It's a lot hard than a one night lay and your odds of getting to that point are a lot lower.

[Guest]

2 Things I have to add to this one:

1. I somewhat disagree with CJ's #6 above. You can do that as long as an understanding has already been established between the 2 of you. I'm not 100% sure, but it sounds like CJ "frames" the situation, rather than addressing directly. I have done both, with a direct discussion after a few times together. Everyone was cool, and no one gets hurt :)
you can set up stuff before hand, rather than her being stricly a 2am "I'm drunk and horny and coming over to your place" thing.

2. You can make the "I'm not ready for a steady relationship right now" thing less personal, and more circumstantial, or to do with you. Meaning, that "your just not at a place where your ready for that." Which, in fact, sounds like it's where your at.

[Guest]

Thanks guys! Fenix I think you are dead on about your second point.

[Guest]

I use the tried and true " Im really enjoying being single right now" .
But I have also kept them as Friends only and used as pivots. the main thing is NOT to make her feel like you KISS and Tell. I think David D called it being a "Gentleman Slut" . Congratulations sir