Beyond Pick-up - How to manage relationships.

[TheRussian]

Is there any material I can read on managing relationships? Most of the material on the internet seems to be made for pick-up only, and I think that being able to pick-up a woman is only half of the game. I would like to gain more knowledge on how to manage a relationship and be able to solve problems before they arise by being able to see red flags and warnings to know that problems exist. It is so easy to get carried away and see the other person as an object which is granted, and so there must be a way to keep the relationship fresh and exciting for the long term. Thank you for the advice in advance.

[Scoundrel]

Relationships don't need managing. If you are with the right person it will take care of it's self. The more issues you have the more likely it is that you are with the wrong person.

[TheRussian]

So you are saying that having a great relationship requires no special understanding? That is equivalent to saying that picking up women requires nothing but being yourself, and if you find the right person they will just naturally fall in love with you. I think that there are definitely many skills to learn in managing LTR's.

[Scoundrel]

Yes, that is what I’m saying.

Learning to be a PUA is learning to bring yourself out and letting women see the real confident you.

[TheRussian]

Learning to be a PUA means learning to understand the mechanics behind coming across as attractive. If you do not understand the qualities associated with being alpha, you will never understand how to be attractive to women. I am assuming that having a relatively smooth LTR means understanding the psychology and dynamics of cohabitation and long term intimacy. I do not see how just letting "the invisible hand" take care of a relationship will make it trouble free. I'm sure that there is a huge amount of learning associated with making each other happy.

[MagicBalls]

Women are taught from early on to "train their man". Your success in the relationship will be based on how well you can maintain your frame. If you get pussy whipped, she's going to lose attraction in you and start looking to cheat on you. If you want to keep her around for a while, treat her like shit and fuck as many other women as you can. That will keep you happy and keep her wanting you more. She will be happy as well, in the sense that women are only happy when it rains.


ok I'm kidding.

Kinda.

"Smack my bitch up"

[TheAwakened]

If you want to keep her around for a while, treat her like shit and fuck as many other women as you can. That will keep you happy and keep her wanting you more. She will be happy as well, in the sense that women are only happy when it rains.


ok I'm kidding.

Kinda.

"Smack my bitch up"

Yeah, you're kinda kidding, but you kinda have a point, mostly in the part about maintaining your frame. In my admittedly limited understanding, though, you don't need to be a asshole in order to keep a girl around. Just don't go overboard on being nice...do things for her, but only when she does something to earn them.

[MagicBalls]

Seriously speaking, yeah, frame is very important. When I was married, my ex would get real insecure about our relationship right around the time that she was on the rag. I would cave in and get into these heated relationship talks with her where she would cry, show drama, talk about her weight, etc. Then in two days it would all be over. I didn't catch on for about a year (dumb ass I was). After I caught on, I knew exactly when she was PMS'ing and I just maintained my frame and managed to avoid all the drama.

[Rhody]

Yeah, you're kinda kidding, but you kinda have a point, mostly in the part about maintaining your frame. In my admittedly limited understanding, though, you don't need to be a asshole in order to keep a girl around. Just don't go overboard on being nice...do things for her, but only when she does something to earn them.

I don't think you necessarily have to do nice things when she earns them. In fact, that might create predictability, which is bad. I would say do nice things on your terms.

I have a book to recommend for this subject:
The Way of the Superior Man
by David Deida

It's not technically pickup oriented, and it's not completely about LTRs, but it talks about living near your edge, maintaining your principals, being a nice guy without being a pussy, and so forth.

[Vector]

Keeping a strong LTR or even a marriage is a big problem and there is a lot of mainstream material out there. I have no doubt there are tons of books and tapes and seminars, etc. and I'd recommend looking there. I think it's outside the scope of the pickup community.

Now if you want help balancing two girlfriends and five occasional FBs, that's a case where you're going to need the help of a PUA. For example, chapter 11 of Magic Bullets:

Chapter 11. Relationships. Most guides to meeting women or "pickup" do not tell you how to manage relationships. How do you date multiple women at once without dishonesty? How do you make the most desirable woman into your girlfriend? How do you have Friends with Benefits? This material has not yet been released anywhere outside of my Relationship Management seminars.

For ordinary relationship help, seek mainstream sources.