Girl at school I want...

[Guest]

So there is a girl at my school who is about a size 0 or 2 at best. Petitie little thing. I have been talking to her in passing. The other day I said I always see you around, what is your name? We exchange names and I said I will see you around campus. Every time I see her we say hi and mention names to make sure we remember. So I told her today, I have been thinking of you lately. She was with a friend and she said oh, yeah, what about? I did not answer and asked if she was going to the school party on Friday and she said yes. I told her I would see her there and she said she would be playing volleyball. Then this afternoon her class was holding a bake sale. I asked her what she made and she said the cookies but really recommended the brownies. I paid $5 for $2 worth of sweets and told her to keep the change. I asked her what she used to sweeten the cookies and if she used her finger to stir it. Her friend said yeah and a little tongue. i said I cant handle that much sugar! Tonight she added me to her facebook list. Hey, its a start! Any suggestions for a newbie in the game. BTW I am 29 about 285lbs and going through a divorce...

[Guest]

if you are looking for hot sex in a back alley you are going down the wrong path, if you are looking for a girlfriend then you could still be alright. Did you really want 5 brownies or are you just trying to please her? please yourself. Why the hell does your weight matter?

[Guest]

I am looking more towards a girlfriend rather than just one night stands, but more of a casual relationship for now if I was looking for anything. Really I just want to make her attracted to me. Technically I am still married, but my wife and I have been separated for 7 months, it has steadily gone downhill, she has consulted a divorce attorney but said she is not filing yet. How am I heading down the wrong path? I had $5 and bought $2 worth of cookies. I guess I could have gotten change, but I just let the money go to their class. Its only $3. My weight matters because I am a huge 6'3" 285lb guy and she is like 5'3" and 105lbs. She would be the most petite girl I have every even hit on. Her body is so tight that I just would not think she would find my fat ass body attractive. But I am working on losing weight...

[Guest]

Alright, I am trying at least, but I think I failed. Tell me what you guys think I could have done better...

This girl has her phone number listed on her facebook page so I text her at 11:30

Me: Why do you have your number on facebook? Some creep could text you in the middle of the night

Her:LOL who is this?

Me: jeremy, from school you dork. I did not know you were from OK

Her: Jeremy from Tri 4? Yeah, I am from OK. I am guessing you are too?

Me: yeah, thats me but I am not from OK, but I was stationed at Tinker (I did not tell her my wife and kids are from there)

her: Awesome! My mom works there.

Me: What are you doing up so late? I just got off work and am about to hit the sack

Her:I had a rough day, took a nap and now I am studying for a test tomorrow morning

Me: What happened? I saw you mentioned something on your facebook page about praying for something. Where did you go to church in OK?

Her: My friend took his life yesterday, I went to church at , blah, blah

Me: No kidding. You porr thing. My codolences to his friends and family. Are you still going to the party tomorrow? If so i will make you feel better.

Her:yes, I will be there, it should be fun

Me: I hope so, this is my first one to go to. I will talk to you there. BTW I loved those boots and skirt combo you wore today. Very sexy

her: Thank you very much, shoes are my weakness

Me: You sound like high maintainence

her:Oh! Nah, I dont think so. I just like shoes :)

Me: LOL, I could see you just wearing those boots! (I think I messed up here because there was no immediate response)

Me: Well you either could not come up with something witty to come back with or you did not take my joke very well. I hope you did not take it the wrong way. Good night and good luck on your test tomorrow.

Her: Well I am going to study, I will see you around tomorrow (got this as I was typing my last message)

Her: Good night and thanks!

I thought when I sent that it could either go two ways. One way is maybe she has been giving me IOIs and it would be playful and sexy. Or she takes me for a total creep and she is going to distance herself from me. The party is tomorrow so give me some feedback guys! Buying a nice shirt tonight to hopefully impress at the party and if not, maybe I will impress other ladies at another venue...

[Guest]

It sounds like you're fucking up and not sticking to the rules/using enough material to get this girl

But yet again what do I know, I've only been in the community for 3 months.

[Guest]

Good job on starting and keeping things rolling. A couple things stick out to me, though.

1) I don't understand the logic behind giving her that $3. There is a specific type of woman impressed by money, and $3 won't do it. They are generally the type you stay away from...the $3 is basically the same thing as buying a girl a drink without her earning it.

2) In almost every single post you've made, you've mentioned your height and weight. This is obviously something you're insecure about, and I believe you wrote in your intro that you are working on it. If your insecurities about it are this obvious via text on this forum, I'd say your body language about it is probably 10 times worse. You need to focus more on who you are as a person (because she is...for the most part) and be confident that you are working towards your weight goal...and will acheive it.

3) Notice how 90% of your texts are 3 times the size of hers. Showing too much interest, in my opinion. I would suggest mirroring the length and the amount of effort in texts to hers. Mirror how long she takes to respond. Mirror the length of her text. If she divulges little to no information to keep the conversation going, ignore the text and see if she responds back later. If she gives you a lot of information in the text (like this line,"Her: My friend took his life yesterday, I went to church at , blah, blah") then give some in return.

4) Escalation needs to flow smoothly. The jump from "high maintenance" to "Me: LOL, I could see you just wearing those boots! " was a HUGE leap...probably need to take a couple steps back now and work your way back to that point. If that would have been left at, "Very Sexy." you would have been a-okay.

At this party don't cling. You do your thing, let her do hers...but most importantly...let her see you doing your thing! Occasionally interact with her...introduce her to the bazillion people you've been talking to...later in the night take her around with you to find someone she'd find hilarious or some crap like that.

umm...might as well mention the no brainer stuff just in case! Shower right before...if you're a cologne guy...DONT USE A SHIT LOAD. I prefer to spray mine on my back and on my crotch (seriously...i'll explain why if you really want.) Get out of your head about the way you look before you get to the venue. Your concentration should be on the people and party and having a good ass time...not if your shirt makes you look fat.

Good luck, and keep us updated.

[Guest]

Oh, and I think grabbing her # off her facebook was a bad move...but it might have been smoothed over.

[Guest]

[quote1213965434=CarlosB91]
It sounds like you're fucking up and not sticking to the rules/using enough material to get this girl

But yet again what do I know, I've only been in the community for 3 months.
[/quote1213965434]

I dont know the rules so I am just going off pure effort right now

[Guest]

[link=http://www.amazon.com/Rules-Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/0061540455]Rules of the Game[/link]

hth

[Guest]

[quote1213965473=Smirks]
Good job on starting and keeping things rolling. A couple things stick out to me, though.

1) I don't understand the logic behind giving her that $3. There is a specific type of woman impressed by money, and $3 won't do it. They are generally the type you stay away from...the $3 is basically the same thing as buying a girl a drink without her earning it.

2) In almost every single post you've made, you've mentioned your height and weight. This is obviously something you're insecure about, and I believe you wrote in your intro that you are working on it. If your insecurities about it are this obvious via text on this forum, I'd say your body language about it is probably 10 times worse. You need to focus more on who you are as a person (because she is...for the most part) and be confident that you are working towards your weight goal...and will acheive it.

3) Notice how 90% of your texts are 3 times the size of hers. Showing too much interest, in my opinion. I would suggest mirroring the length and the amount of effort in texts to hers. Mirror how long she takes to respond. Mirror the length of her text. If she divulges little to no information to keep the conversation going, ignore the text and see if she responds back later. If she gives you a lot of information in the text (like this line,"Her: My friend took his life yesterday, I went to church at , blah, blah") then give some in return.

4) Escalation needs to flow smoothly. The jump from "high maintenance" to "Me: LOL, I could see you just wearing those boots! " was a HUGE leap...probably need to take a couple steps back now and work your way back to that point. If that would have been left at, "Very Sexy." you would have been a-okay.

At this party don't cling. You do your thing, let her do hers...but most importantly...let her see you doing your thing! Occasionally interact with her...introduce her to the bazillion people you've been talking to...later in the night take her around with you to find someone she'd find hilarious or some crap like that.

umm...might as well mention the no brainer stuff just in case! Shower right before...if you're a cologne guy...DONT USE A SHIT LOAD. I prefer to spray mine on my back and on my crotch (seriously...i'll explain why if you really want.) Get out of your head about the way you look before you get to the venue. Your concentration should be on the people and party and having a good ass time...not if your shirt makes you look fat.

Good luck, and keep us updated.
[/quote1213965473]

1. Yeah, now that you mention it that way, you are right about the $3. Lesson learned.

2. Yes, i am insecure about my weight but I act confident in person because I feel much better than I did at 300lbs and 320+lbs. I know its just a matter of time until I get to a weight where I am much more confident at so I basically am acting like I am already at that weight. It just weighs me down in the back of my mind.

3. The length of the texts are deceiving. I more consolidated some of them and cut out a few of them for easier reading and to get the jist of what was said. Good avice though either way.

4. You are right about how fast I escalated things. I wanted to take a RISK. I wanted to do something different from what I would normally do as an experiement if you will. I dont know if she took it the wrong way because of her faith. She may be a virgin for all I know and my talk of sex may have scared her away. Or she may have just thought, this guy is a pervert talking about this way too fast. I thought when I said she looked sexy she responded well so I thought I would see how far I could push it. I know it was a huge leap, but like I said I was hoping it was high risk with high reward. I also think by adding the neg in there about her not being able to be witty with me might have helped, no?

Thank you for the point about not being clingy to her. I am not clingy with her at school, in fact I am very short with her so I will continue this a little bit with her. I want to get to know her a little bit more and build the bond between us and OK a little bit though. I definately plan on opening as many sets as possible though that night and seeing if I cant take it the next step with her by going out for coffee after the party or something.

Good point on taking a shower before, I think it also goes to be said, make sure I shave my head, face etc before going to complete the clean look. I dont use a ton of cologne but I wear enough on my neck/chest that when I give a woman a hug they tell me I smell good. I will try the crotch and back thing although I am not fully sure why. I can understand the crotch area somewhat, but not the back...