Getting Rid Of Mr. Nice Guy...

[Guest]

Ok guys so this past weekend I headed down to Arlington for college orientation. So while I was down there I was chillin running my game and just trying to make a ton of new friends. Well I ended up kiss closing 3 different girls, and had one of them spend the night with me in my room....
You say what's the problem?
I guess its guilt? Maybe? I don't know.
Its almost like I get too attached for one night stands. If that makes any sense.
You'd think today I'd be all stoked, you know dude I'm getting good I can get chicks to come home with me same night...
But seriously I'm hung up on this girl. I feel fucking clingy. I want to call her and shit. Is this normal?
(I'm a complete virgin when it comes to one nighters if you couldn't tell)

Any advice on how to lose this would be great..

=Bennjimin=

[Guest]

Think about it like this.

Clearly you have really good charisma. You are going to meet and make a ton of friends. You are going to meet a ton of females. Hell you already met 3 and slept with one. The one you slept with you like a lot. Nothing wrong with that. But just understand with your abilities you are going to meet so many more women. They are going to be way better than the one you just shagged. So while she might be pretty freaking cool you are in store to meet way cooler ones.

So just keep that in the back of your head and stay single.

If you don't like ONS then just don't do them. Get to know the girl a little more before you escalate it to sex. Maybe you only sleep with girls you have known more than 24 hours. I don't know. Set up some standards for yourself.

Also it is ok to call this chick. Just don't get some crazy one-itis or anything. She should be a girl that you sleep with on occasion. Hell you already shagged her the first night you met her so she is basically a FB now. I would wait a few days after you slept with her and shoot her over a text. She should be receptive unless she has a BF or something else similar. Even with a BF in the picture she is probably going to be receptive.

If you just can't get rid of the clingyness then get your ass out there and find another chick you can nail and hang out with. That will solve the problem very easily. That is another reason why you should have a few girls in your harem. It allows you to not be clingy to any one girl.

Go build a harem Sir!

[Guest]

bro i dont know alot but im pretty sure its ok to be a nice guy. i would have to say this isnt just for guys who wanna pound a girl then move along. if she is cool please stay with her.

bro, i think its a gift to be able to feel this way with a girl. guys like me hate relationships and will screw us over in the long run.

so this is just me saying but do what makes you happy, if its just the fear if hurting her then i would tell her that im not looking for a relationship.

[Guest]

Product of environment. How you were raised. Its gonna be there till you pound it out or you give in to it. Sit back and really think on what you want out of the game. You may even want to write it down. If you dont have a predetermined destination, how can you know what path to take? In other words if your looking for a relationship, then dont get rid of the nice guy. If you want FB's, your better off leaving him in a ditch with his throat cut. Have a nice day!

[Guest]

You need to figure out the root cause as to why you feel uncomfortable. Do you feel like you are using or 'tricking' the women? Are you focused on what you are getting vs. what you are giving? Do you subconsciously think that sex is 'bad'? I have no idea, only you can determine what is causing those feelings.

"Nice guy" is a loaded term, so let me say, there's nothing wrong with being good to the people around you.

[Guest]

[quote1213199841=Bennjimin]
Ok guys so this past weekend I headed down to Arlington for college orientation. So while I was down there I was chillin running my game and just trying to make a ton of new friends. Well I ended up kiss closing 3 different girls, and had one of them spend the night with me in my room....
You say what's the problem?
I guess its guilt? Maybe? I don't know.
Its almost like I get too attached for one night stands. If that makes any sense.
You'd think today I'd be all stoked, you know dude I'm getting good I can get chicks to come home with me same night...
But seriously I'm hung up on this girl. I feel fucking clingy. I want to call her and shit. Is this normal?
(I'm a complete virgin when it comes to one nighters if you couldn't tell)

Any advice on how to lose this would be great..

=Bennjimin=
[/quote1213199841]


Congratulations... You just opened a Pandora Box.

Once sex enters in a relationship... your judgement is shot and you are hooked.

It is like getting high on drugs... Endorphs got shot up in your brain and you were high and now you want some more from the drug (girl).
It can happens with Videogames too.

Yes it is natural to have those feelings that you are having.
But to make a LTR, it has to be more than sex and the feelings you get from a sexual experience... Is she easy going? Is she a player? Is she uptight? How is she with money and credit? Does she believe the same things you do and if she doesn't is she tolerant or rolls with it? Can she carry a conversation? Is she supportive of her man.. no matter what? Does she like kids? How is her relationship with her parents? Are her parents still married?

These are a few of the questions you have to ask... otherwise, it was just sex and she liked it and consented to it. You didn't take anything from her.

HERE is your problem.. your self-esteem and your self worth. It has nothing to do with you being the Nice Guy. Get it in your head... You are the prize... not her. Don't put her on a pedstal. She is just a girl with the same needs and wants. Try learning about who she is and than decide is she the One for your Onetis. However as an untrained and unexperienced PUA, the sex might cloud your judgement of her... Like Beer goggles would.

Having Sex with a girl first... more than likely, would not be a good way to find a LTR girlfriend... if that is what you are after.

[Guest]

If you want to call her, call her. I always call a girl the day after sex btw. Mercy call, whatever. I don't need drama around me.

Dude just some general life advice (that applies to pickup too) but you should NEVER let anyone else tell you what you should value or how you should feel. Who said it was uncool to have a girlfriend? It's NOT, that's the answer. If you're hung up on her, have a girlfriend for a couple months. Experience that. Doesn't mean it has to be exclusive even. There are a lot of different types of relationships you could get in to, just as long as you're happy and you're not lying to anyone you're cool.

I'd say just try to figure out for yourself what you're looking for out of all of this.

[Guest]

Thanks, for all the well thought out replies guys!
This has kind of made me think on a deeper level of what I "really" want out of all this.

At first I guess I wanted to be that guy that always gets the girl, or the guy you see making out with some gal he's just met at his cousins wedding, or that other guys look at and go WTF he's a beast. And admittedly it does feel awesome when you're in a set and you see some guy watching you slack jawed :)

But I guess I'm just looking for an LTR when it all boils down.
I'm starting to feel good working in A1-A3 now I guess its time to start working on the C's.

Oh and I guess update.
The chick ended up flaking on me. Tried calling her 3 times this week and left 2 msgs. Didn't want to seem try hard or anything. Never got a response or anything.
Does this happen alot?

[Guest]

On a deeper level..... No one is ever out of the "game". This stuff effects things on such a higher level.

Now of course if you ever decide to become a hermit... I guess it wouldn't matter. Either way though, I would lump an LTR in with a short term goal.

[Guest]

[quote1213461310=Bennjimin]

But I guess I'm just looking for an LTR when it all boils down.
I'm starting to feel good working in A1-A3 now I guess its time to start working on the C's.

[/quote1213461310]


This is just my opinion and a reflection of something that I have read somewhere....

Your goals and passion are in PUA.
You can't share that with her.

But if you have a real goal and passion for something other than PUA.
You can share that with her and it might be something that she might have a passion for too and admire you about.

Man seeks a woman for fertility... somehow society mixed it up with curvy body (hips) and Big Tits and healthy symetrical face.
Woman seek a man for providing or the potential good Provider... Goals and Passion for the future, answers their need... I think this would help fulfill their need for LTR.