[QUOTE=grimm1111;37157]
You have to pass this. Ask yourself, what's the alpha thing to do? You have to OWN that pussy. You're supposed to get jealous. But get jealous in the right way. Don't be weird about it, you understand relationship boundaries, but still stand up for what you want.[/QUOTE]
lol this is the first thing I thought of when I read what he posted that.
I probably would have replied with... "Just don't hurt me. I've been hurt so many times before. Before I know it they've run off with my dog and favorite t-shirt... :( :("
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Flaked on....
by Guest » Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:42 am
This girl is dominant, no question. But, you're letting her be that way. She is routinely testing you, but all women do early on, and her shit tests are going to be tougher and more frequent because of your history. So, you just have to deal with it but not letting things phase you...the one about giving her number out does two things: 1) she wants you to be jealous, it's a sign of your interest in her (she needs that reassurance right now because of the 8 month hiatus) and 2) it idemnifies her from any wrong doing (she knows she shouldn't have given out her number so she told you so she wouldn't feel guilty any longer).
I think one of the biggest problems you're having here is that you're thinking WAY too much. Part of being dominant and Alpha is understanding when you need to take control and when you need to let the other people in your troup exercise some muscle. She's more familiar with the city than you. Big deal. Don't think less of yourself because someone else in your group has more experience with something than you do. She's a resource for you to use. In this case, she was the tour guide...so be it, use her knowledge. Just because you didn't lead the whole time doesn't make you any less alpha unless you allow yourself to feel less alpha.
As for the DLV, I don't see how that matters in the least. I don't think wanting to be with your friends is a DLV. Again, I think you're reading too much in to things.
So she didn't want to kiss you the next morning? Well, did it occur to you that she was no longer drunk (I'm assuming you guys had some booze the night before) and that she was self-conscious because her breathe smelled? I don't like kissing people in the morning until AFTER I brush my teeth. That's normal behavior. Plus anyways, the lack of booze means that she's much more aware of her friend, and co-worker, sleeping in the same room. Again, normal behavior. Once she brushed her teeth and you guys had some privacy she was back to kissing you.
My suggestion is that you need to start plowing. This girl is waiting for you to take the lead man. She's waiting for you to take her. So, go out with her on Tuesday. Get a few drinks in her, get her back to her place (or yours), and take her. But, most importantly, stop trying to 'game' her and just start being your bad ass self. Relax. Calm down. Get out of your head. My guess is that she can sense that something's slightly unnatural about how you're acting...women can sense when a guy is gaming them. You know the principles, the basics. Don't worry about anything but remaining calm, cool, collected, and confident. Focus on those things and the sex will take care of itself.
I think one of the biggest problems you're having here is that you're thinking WAY too much. Part of being dominant and Alpha is understanding when you need to take control and when you need to let the other people in your troup exercise some muscle. She's more familiar with the city than you. Big deal. Don't think less of yourself because someone else in your group has more experience with something than you do. She's a resource for you to use. In this case, she was the tour guide...so be it, use her knowledge. Just because you didn't lead the whole time doesn't make you any less alpha unless you allow yourself to feel less alpha.
As for the DLV, I don't see how that matters in the least. I don't think wanting to be with your friends is a DLV. Again, I think you're reading too much in to things.
So she didn't want to kiss you the next morning? Well, did it occur to you that she was no longer drunk (I'm assuming you guys had some booze the night before) and that she was self-conscious because her breathe smelled? I don't like kissing people in the morning until AFTER I brush my teeth. That's normal behavior. Plus anyways, the lack of booze means that she's much more aware of her friend, and co-worker, sleeping in the same room. Again, normal behavior. Once she brushed her teeth and you guys had some privacy she was back to kissing you.
My suggestion is that you need to start plowing. This girl is waiting for you to take the lead man. She's waiting for you to take her. So, go out with her on Tuesday. Get a few drinks in her, get her back to her place (or yours), and take her. But, most importantly, stop trying to 'game' her and just start being your bad ass self. Relax. Calm down. Get out of your head. My guess is that she can sense that something's slightly unnatural about how you're acting...women can sense when a guy is gaming them. You know the principles, the basics. Don't worry about anything but remaining calm, cool, collected, and confident. Focus on those things and the sex will take care of itself.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:17 am
[QUOTE=grimm1111;37157]The "other guys" thing is def a shit test. It tests for one of two things: 1. Are you the jealous clingy type and 2.) Do you have the balls to stand up to her if she fucks you over, to take what you want? I'm gonna guess she's testing for #2.
You have to pass this. Ask yourself, what's the alpha thing to do? You have to OWN that pussy. You're supposed to get jealous. But get jealous in the right way. Don't be weird about it, you understand relationship boundaries, but still stand up for what you want.[/QUOTE]
I thought the same thing. I would have said, "so I have competition? Well, I'm not worried because I know you're crazy about me." Half joking, of course, but it implies that you're both moving towards each other but you're not quite there yet. The French have an expression, "the most exciting part of an affair is walking up the stairs." I think you missed a few opportunities to make this part of the relationship exciting because you were too much in your head about the goal rather than being in the moment. I recognize it because I do it a lot myself.
You have to pass this. Ask yourself, what's the alpha thing to do? You have to OWN that pussy. You're supposed to get jealous. But get jealous in the right way. Don't be weird about it, you understand relationship boundaries, but still stand up for what you want.[/QUOTE]
I thought the same thing. I would have said, "so I have competition? Well, I'm not worried because I know you're crazy about me." Half joking, of course, but it implies that you're both moving towards each other but you're not quite there yet. The French have an expression, "the most exciting part of an affair is walking up the stairs." I think you missed a few opportunities to make this part of the relationship exciting because you were too much in your head about the goal rather than being in the moment. I recognize it because I do it a lot myself.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Aug 16, 2010 12:05 pm
[QUOTE=Bull Run;37161]Don't worry about anything but remaining calm, cool, collected, and confident. Focus on those things and the sex will take care of itself.[/QUOTE]
This was the approach I tried to take this weekend and I might as well stick to it. I felt pretty good on Saturday, but then what threw me off was that our last phone conversation did something to nag me in the gut, and made me rethink these events. It's definitely true that because this has been such a drawn out affair, like Rhody said, I'm focusing too much on the outcome and over-thinking everything.
I gotta stop worrying so much about the outcome and just let things fall into place.
This was the approach I tried to take this weekend and I might as well stick to it. I felt pretty good on Saturday, but then what threw me off was that our last phone conversation did something to nag me in the gut, and made me rethink these events. It's definitely true that because this has been such a drawn out affair, like Rhody said, I'm focusing too much on the outcome and over-thinking everything.
I gotta stop worrying so much about the outcome and just let things fall into place.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:55 pm
More games....
She just hit me with this text out of the blue:
[I]I've decided you're not ready yet for my blogs![/I] (referring to these blogs of hers that she said she was going to send me the link too, but seemed kind of afraid to)
I decided to call her out on her shit a little bit with:
[I]This is a weird way of flirting. :)[/I]
Was this the right kind of reply? Maybe ignoring her would've been more effective, which is what I originally wanted to do.
[B]Edit: Guess it worked. her reply: "Haha well..."[/B]
She just hit me with this text out of the blue:
[I]I've decided you're not ready yet for my blogs![/I] (referring to these blogs of hers that she said she was going to send me the link too, but seemed kind of afraid to)
I decided to call her out on her shit a little bit with:
[I]This is a weird way of flirting. :)[/I]
Was this the right kind of reply? Maybe ignoring her would've been more effective, which is what I originally wanted to do.
[B]Edit: Guess it worked. her reply: "Haha well..."[/B]
- Guest
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:56 am
Uh, yeah, I think she really wants you to see her blog. The trick is to convince her without begging. That way you don't jump through her hoop, but you still reward her for exposing something personal about herself.
If she's playing a game that involves flirting, it can be good to ratify that by calling her out, but it is also ok to play along. Those kinds of games are good, and she wants you to be good at them.
You could have said something like, "you're probably right, I'm not ready. If you were to give me the link to your blog, then I might learn something about who you are deep inside, something you don't show just anybody, and then I might start to really like you... and that would be bad ;-)"
If she's playing a game that involves flirting, it can be good to ratify that by calling her out, but it is also ok to play along. Those kinds of games are good, and she wants you to be good at them.
You could have said something like, "you're probably right, I'm not ready. If you were to give me the link to your blog, then I might learn something about who you are deep inside, something you don't show just anybody, and then I might start to really like you... and that would be bad ;-)"
- Guest
by Guest » Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:07 am
Major shit-test last night, or possibly blow-out. First of all, I had been hanging out with this girl a lot, and we fool around a lot, but there has been no f-close. I think the main reason has been that she is looking for a relationship, and I'm not giving any of the indicators that I would comply with that kind of commitment (because I wouldn't). So that's the nature of these little back and forth struggles in my mind.
Anyway, last night, I ran into her at a bar quite by accident. She was with her two best friends. I go up to them to say hi, and when I go to give her a kiss, I notice she's very cold. I plow through anyway, and sit down with them. Immediately the friend turns to me and orders me to buy them all a drink. I tell her no. She acts shocked, and they all get up and walk way to the other side of the bar. I'm pretty puzzled by this, but I'm there with other friends, so I decide to go find them, and just ignore this girl and her friends. At another point I walk by the girl and her friend, and they start laughing very hard, presumably at me.
I go hang out with my friends, and I do a pretty good job of seeming unaffected. One of the friends I am hanging out with is a really cute girl, and this may have had some bearing on the next series of events, because it may have seemed as though we were together even though we weren't.
Me and my friend (the girl) are at the bar, and my target is talking to some other guy. I contemplate for a minute chasing after her, and seeing why she's acting so weird. Then she starts making out with him, very briefly, and as soon as she's done she storms out of the bar, and all her friends are chasing after her. It seems from her body language that she really regretted having done that, and was ashamed/embarrassed, and the friends were chasing her to console her.
At that point I was a bit jealous, even though rationally I shouldn't be. She's not my girlfriend, and we've never had sex. I haven't stopped seeing other women, and last weekend I had sex with another girl. Nevertheless, I don't know how to proceed with this or even if I should. We were supposed to hang out tonight. I can't figure out why she acted like that except maybe a) she was pissed that I've been going out and partying places without her b) hadn't been calling her with sufficient regularity, or chasing her up to her standard, or c) she, or one of her friends saw me hooking up with another girl on another night. None of the three are behaviors that I regret in the least.
Any suggestions on how I should proceed, or even IF I should?
Anyway, last night, I ran into her at a bar quite by accident. She was with her two best friends. I go up to them to say hi, and when I go to give her a kiss, I notice she's very cold. I plow through anyway, and sit down with them. Immediately the friend turns to me and orders me to buy them all a drink. I tell her no. She acts shocked, and they all get up and walk way to the other side of the bar. I'm pretty puzzled by this, but I'm there with other friends, so I decide to go find them, and just ignore this girl and her friends. At another point I walk by the girl and her friend, and they start laughing very hard, presumably at me.
I go hang out with my friends, and I do a pretty good job of seeming unaffected. One of the friends I am hanging out with is a really cute girl, and this may have had some bearing on the next series of events, because it may have seemed as though we were together even though we weren't.
Me and my friend (the girl) are at the bar, and my target is talking to some other guy. I contemplate for a minute chasing after her, and seeing why she's acting so weird. Then she starts making out with him, very briefly, and as soon as she's done she storms out of the bar, and all her friends are chasing after her. It seems from her body language that she really regretted having done that, and was ashamed/embarrassed, and the friends were chasing her to console her.
At that point I was a bit jealous, even though rationally I shouldn't be. She's not my girlfriend, and we've never had sex. I haven't stopped seeing other women, and last weekend I had sex with another girl. Nevertheless, I don't know how to proceed with this or even if I should. We were supposed to hang out tonight. I can't figure out why she acted like that except maybe a) she was pissed that I've been going out and partying places without her b) hadn't been calling her with sufficient regularity, or chasing her up to her standard, or c) she, or one of her friends saw me hooking up with another girl on another night. None of the three are behaviors that I regret in the least.
Any suggestions on how I should proceed, or even IF I should?
- Guest
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