Paying for dates

[Lion]

That's good twitchy. I go on dinner dates frequently, just not if it's my first time (day 2) hanging out with her.

[Twitchy]

If its a first date (I HATE the term Day 2), tell her you have dinner plans and instead invite her out for dessert after you are finished with dinner. Pick a very high end restaurant or a place known for its dessert and plan on something like cheesecake or tiramasu and wine.

This is a nice date, its uncommon and you are timeboxed to under an hour. And if you are really hitting it off, just bounce to another venue.

[Lion]

I got tricked into buying a bottle of wine last night - why does that feel like such a defeat? I don't mind paying, it's just the trickery that went into it. I went over to her house, she suggested wine, I said sure. We get to the store, pick out our bottle, get to the register and the guy rings it up. I look at her and say "pay the man" and she says "but I don't have my debit card, I left my purse" so I pay, feeling used. Oh well, it was only $12 and she had just been fired that day. And then I had $12 worth of sex with her later.

[Lion]

If its a first date (I HATE the term Day 2), tell her you have dinner plans and instead invite her out for dessert after you are finished with dinner. Pick a very high end restaurant or a place known for its dessert and plan on something like cheesecake or tiramasu and wine.

This is a nice date, its uncommon and you are timeboxed to under an hour. And if you are really hitting it off, just bounce to another venue.

Personally, on my day 2's/first dates I normally just have them come to my place or I go to theirs. If not that, then out for drinks or starbucks or something easy like that. I have no intentions of investing anything worthwhile if it turns out I don't like her.

[Howiestern]

The whole point of this thread is, how do you tell them to pay for their own portion of the meal and drinks??? Is anyone doing this successfully and on a repeated basis????

It's a tough one to get around but you can control the situation with a little crafty thinking.

Here's what I've learned from my own experiences:

1. Keep yourself out of the situation to begin with by planning ahead. If you plan to buy you get to pick is how I roll. Don't ask them where they want to go, be a man and take control. Women find this attractive when you plan it out and they don't have to. I also refuse to tell them where I'm taking them and a lot of women seem to like the allure of mystery.

2. One trick I use is the 1-person trivia game while text messaging. You make up some fun questions to ask her. She doesn't get to ask you any! Set the questions up so you can change the answer if she gets it right that way she'll lose every time. One question I like to ask is "how long is the average male penis?" The answer is 5" so if she says 5 tell her WRONG, it's 6. You lose, you get to buy. I've found questions about the human body go over real well and get some fun-sexy chat going back and forth. She might even ask you about your penis! Get on the internet and look for the questions if you can't think up any.

3. When you place your order to the waiter/waitress request separate checks at that time.

4. I like to use this place called Ole Monk's off 75 & Knox-Henderson. It's fairly cheap(dinner/drinks < $30), dim lighting, romantic, which make for a great date atmosphere. The drawback is that it's noisy during the peak hours.

My buddy dates a high maintenance stripper and the other night he refused to pay the bill. She told him that was the first time a guy has ever done that to her. Then he said, yep I'm different than all the rest and i'm not your average guy! Definitely shocked her but she ended up paying.

[Alphagame]

The main reason I've been successful with buying food on the first date is because I think they can sense that it's not a lot of money for me. In addition, some good advice I learned on the Tom Leykis forums, order "girly" shots and pour them down her throat (and yours). Alcohol reduces social inhibitions, which really enables the two of you to get comfortable being around each other. It also helps with LMR.

This one refused to drink with me and that was where the shit went bad. She drank 2 glasses of wine at the Sushi place and that was it.

I mean, the IOI was there...she drove from the downtown Dallas area all the way to Lewisville to go out with me. I fucked it up, but I still insist, had she been willing to get drunk with me, things would have been fine.

Yes, I think that for a guy with a normal income, if you pay $60 on the first date for food and drinks, she'll sense that it's a lot of money, start thinking you are too in to her, get princess syndrome and you're blown out. Even still, if you order a few rounds of girly shots, I think it's ok. The alcohol is critical for dating success in my opinion.

Perhaps I should start screening my dates BEFORE we go out to make sure they aren't the non-drinking variety. Sober first dates, for me, suck ass. In fact, this date, with the $107 Sushi, was the WORST first date I've been on since my divorce. All because she wouldn't get drunk with me.

[Twitchy]

I think you have a sticking point (as we all do)...and that is sarging sober.

[Alphagame]

Men are bunch of fucking chumps. Our society is fucked. We have given women everything. We gave them the power over us sexually. They conrol the baby situation. They can basically get divorced now and clean us out anytime they wish no matter how good we are too them. Hell they can cheat on us, then divorce us and still clean us out. They can take our children from us and make us support the process. It's a fucked up world and we did it to ourselves is the funny thing. We handed our balls right to them and said, "squeeze the fuck out of these any time you wish." All this power we have given them has totally destroyed gender roles and family structure.

Well said, and very true.

When you place your order to the waiter/waitress request separate checks at that time.

Ok, Howiestern, how does this go over, usually? You're on a first date with some chick and you request separate checks. How do they normally react? Do you make eye contact with her when you do this or look away like it's totally normal? Details, please. Not sure I even have the balls to try this, but maybe if I had more instructions, I would do it...especially with the 8.5's & hotter. Probably not necessary with the 8's & under. But the 8.5's, 9's & 10's could probably use this kind of treatment.

[Howiestern]

I don't make eye contact. It's easier for me and it's not as personal. Be commanding and strong with your voice and take charge of the situation. Have some piece of conversation ready to distract her from her thoughts when she realizes what you just did. You'll probably hear a "I've never had a guy make me pay for a first date". Then just say, yeah I'm not like most guys either.

[BIGT]

I think you have a sticking point (as we all do)...and that is sarging sober.

Thats part of my problem as well