Need help reconnecting with an ex.....

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;38604]It was an attempt to regain power over the situation because the way things stood/stand, she holds all the cards. The idea was to instill a fear of loss in her. I'm tempted to post the e-mail for evaluation purposes, or at least pm it to interested parties, so that it wouldn't be out here in public.[/QUOTE]

What difference does it make? If moved on, then you wouldn't care where things stood or who had power or whether she feared losing you. Contacting her to reinitiate is the opposite of moving on. It's like calling someone to tell him that you're not talking to him anymore. It defeats the purpose and instead communicates your real message, which is that you haven't moved on and still need a connection with her.

[Guest]

I'd do none of the above.

There are 1000's of Texan women waiting to meet you Fuzz. Let them, by moving on.

[Guest]

Unless you got some insider information, from her friends you ran into, she may be completely over you. Women move on faster than men it seems. They realize that they have to, and they just pick up and do so... Its alot fucking easier for women to move on because they are constantly being pursued. (that doesn't mean she doesnt hold a soft spot for you deep down)

I join the others; I think you should not contact her and just move on. It's obvious you still swoon for her, and it might not be too healthy for you to get your emotions riled up about her all over again. Soo for your mental health alone this is why I think you should leave that shit alone. She's coming back into town, she knows you live in this town, if you she wanted to contact you she would...

But if you must, if you absolutely must contact her :rolleyes: then facebook would be the most detached non investing method in order to do soo. A text or a phone call would be too much pressure. Use the method with the least amount of investment as possible in order to begin making her invest in you.

Ive always found pickup to be like ground hog day. Soo in your case, dont treat the situation like you guys HAD history because the main focus will end up being the pain experienced from the breakup. Instead treat it more like Mystery Method and start back in COMFORT stage.

[Guest]

Don't do any of this.

Go out and bed another woman or two or three. Spend some time with women that are not her.

If you realize she is the one for you, then reconnect with her using Lion's suggestions.

Think of it this way. If you move on now with other girls then you'll be able to test your feelings for her AND you'll gain that abundance mentality that will draw her in again.

Frame the whole interaction as light, simple, and playful. Make it seem as if you dropped her a line on a lark, then dig in a little bit. Get together to 'catch up.' Then, things should sort of take care of themselves from there.

She has the power. The only way you'll get it back is to turn your back and move on. You may lose her forever but, hey, at least you'll still be a man and have some fucking dignity.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;38618]Don't do any of this.

Go out and bed another woman or two or three. Spend some time with women that are not her.

If you realize she is the one for you, then reconnect with her using Lion's suggestions.

Think of it this way. If you move on now with other girls then you'll be able to test your feelings for her AND you'll gain that abundance mentality that will draw her in again.

Frame the whole interaction as light, simple, and playful. Make it seem as if you dropped her a line on a lark, then dig in a little bit. Get together to 'catch up.' Then, things should sort of take care of themselves from there.

She has the power. The only way you'll get it back is to turn your back and move on. You may lose her forever but, hey, at least you'll still be a man and have some fucking dignity.[/QUOTE]

Word!

Think about it. If you want her more because you can't have her for whatever reason, she is desired and you are longing. Why not become the proverbial "greener grass" by living it out. Besides the added benifit of having your dignity you will have the clarity of chosing her over your other options because you know she is what you want, not because you can't have her.

[Guest]

Good points everyone. I'm abandoning this plan of action. It probably won't be worth it in the long run.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;38618]

She has the power. The only way you'll get it back is to turn your back and move on. You may lose her forever but, hey, at least you'll still be a man and have some fucking dignity.[/QUOTE]

I have started to question just about all the rules the game teaches us. All the stupid fucking things we come up with that is written in stone.

I ask myself, how do all these beta guys(these guys we quantify as beta) end up with girls. And lately I have started seeing some dorky guys with hot girls on many occasions. So how does this guy, who is beta, who does all the things we preach you shouldn't, end up with this hottie?

We over analyze these things to such a minute detail that I think we often kick ourselves in the foot.

Fuzz don't let these guys talk you out of trying to contact this girl. Only 3 things can happen.

1. You contact her and she denies you or she accepts you.

2. She does come to town and hits you up or she doesn't.

3. Neither of you do anything and you possibly miss out on something fun, amazing, insert whatever you want.

I have seen Many times X's reconnecting when one or the other comes into town. It is just a common occurrence, that I guarantee happens very often, usually over the holidays. If your X is single, and you didn't do something stupid to require a restraining order, she will probably want to meet up with you.

The reason I said call is because I don't know anything about facebook. Can she see you haven't been on in 3 years? Can she see that you only got on there to contact her? Can she see that you have no friends, etc, etc. If she can see all that it might seem a little odd is all. If she can't see any of that then yes, that would be the best, low investment on her part and yours.

[Guest]

While I agree with pc that we tend to over analyze every minute detail of every interaction, I don't think you should call or contact her.

You've tried to reach out to her before in an email and she never responded. Sure, it couldve gone to spam, but, she more than likely read it and did not want to respond.

If she wants to see you, she'll contact you when she's in town. If she doesn't, then she won't. At least in this case, you'll have hand because she contacted you, not the other way around.

If she doesn't contact you, then you just move on and live your life...

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Prodigy;38633]
If she doesn't contact you, then you just move on and live your life...[/QUOTE]

How can you possibly live a normal life if you wait for others to do what you want. If you want something in life, you are the only person who can make it happen.

If you want to contact this girl do it. Who gives a shit about the outcome.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Prodigy;38633]While I agree with pc that we tend to over analyze every minute detail of every interaction, I don't think you should call or contact her.

You've tried to reach out to her before in an email and she never responded. Sure, it couldve gone to spam, but, she more than likely read it and did not want to respond.

If she wants to see you, she'll contact you when she's in town. If she doesn't, then she won't. At least in this case, you'll have hand because she contacted you, not the other way around.

If she doesn't contact you, then you just move on and live your life...[/QUOTE]

Negative.

If you want something in life you get off your ass and you make it happen. You don't wait for it to come to you.

Now if she doesn't respond favorably to this series of messages then fuck her. Make yourself better. Success is the best revenge. Become so fucking good that when she runs into you in a few years she begs you to fuck her in the back of your car.

In the words of Billy Madison "YOU GET YOUR ASS OUT THERE AND YOU FIND THAT FUCKING DOG!"