Flaked on....

[Guest]

They're not close friends or anything. Just people within my social circle.

[Guest]

Cock her god damn it!

From reading your texts to me you are shooting yourself in the foot.

It seems like you are playing games or trying to be dominate by making interactions happen on your terms. The compliance hoops you're setting up for her are just too calculated and controlling.

When you have a woman calling you to come out you sometimes scrub yourself up and go out even if you have to be to work in the morning. Real men live and live dangerously and lively.

Yes you need to close. But stop over gaming it in your head. ESCALATE and be SEXUAL. You can do that in a soft way.

1) I think you need to have a very sexual sensual phone conversation with her and escalate to a close. Talk comfortably and then ask if she is a good kisser. Get romantic.

2) Or.. go have some serious fun and throw the game stuff out the window and just be really funny cocky. Start the innuendos and escalation and then just body slam her on the wall when you get to her place and take her.

Don't slow undress ( got that impression from your post ).. to get rid of LMR you get into comfort and pop off the shoes because that's comfy.

Ask her if she is a good kisser. She will probably say you know. Just reply that you don't remember and say let's find out. And when it comes to undressing don't do it one garment at a time. Hook all the undergarments with your thumbs and rip the bra off with the shirt and the undies off with the pants.

Just my 2 cents.. I think your mentally mastuerbating this one.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=bigdprince;37117]1) I think you need to have a very sexual sensual phone conversation with her and escalate to a close. Talk comfortably and then ask if she is a good kisser. Get romantic.[/QUOTE]


I don't think this is necessary, although a phone call with a simple "I'm free Thursday for a drink, you should come with..." might send a much stronger message considering that you two have only been texting lately. At this point, there is no harm in being a little more direct and forward. A long, drawn out conversation isn't necessary and, at this point, would fall into the realm of continuing to 'over game.'

Now is the time to take her. So, take her.

[QUOTE=bigdprince;37117]2) Or.. go have some serious fun and throw the game stuff out the window and just be really funny cocky. Start the innuendos and escalation and then just body slam her on the wall when you get to her place and take her.[/QUOTE]


Once you get her out, this is how you should act. I would give her a few moments to settle in with you and then start escalating. She'll let you because she wants you to. But, if you just roll up to her and start right away she may get the feeling that she's being played. Remember, women love players, they just don't want to be played.

If you do that the right way, there will be no LMR (LMR is managed in the field anyways, if you're waiting to diffuse it when it shows up then you didn't do it right while you were out).

Pulling the panties off with the pants is a great idea...be careful with the bra though, I did that without unhooking it and almost ripped out a girl's nipple piercings...how's that for foreplay?

I would never ask a girl if they're a good kisser unless it's in casual conversation and I'm escalating her. Just kiss her. Why use words when an action will be much, much more powerful?

Long and short of it though: she's on the hook. Don't be afraid to go out of your way a little bit to close her. You've put up way too many hoops and girls don't usually jump through so many. You were halfway home? So what? Did she know that? I don't find it pathetic to turn around and close her...now, if she knew you did that, then that's a little needy. But, I would definitely drive a little out of my way to close a girl I have never closed before. That's a no brainer.

[Guest]

Nice info here..


ALSO... SIDE-NOTE: girl inviting you to Birthday no big deal. Birthdays are events for women and it's another opportunity for an extravaganza of look at me self worship. They need lots of people for that and to make them look good.

[Guest]

I think I will try calling her, even though we've never talked on the phone, except maybe once to ask her directions. She tried to call me once out of the blue, about a year ago or whatever, but I missed the call. I called back and she never picked up so we just resumed texting.

I really don't know anything about regular old fashioned phone game, but it's very likely she will not answer if I do call, so I should prepare for that. Also, it looks like this week might be too busy for me to set up anything, but it seems from what you guys are saying, I shouldn't wait.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;37126]I think I will try calling her, even though we've never talked on the phone, except maybe once to ask her directions. She tried to call me once out of the blue, about a year ago or whatever, but I missed the call. I called back and she never picked up so we just resumed texting.

I really don't know anything about regular old fashioned phone game, but it's very likely she will not answer if I do call, so I should prepare for that. Also, it looks like this week might be too busy for me to set up anything, but it seems from what you guys are saying, I shouldn't wait.[/QUOTE]


You don't need to Game her on the phone. The conversation should be short and sweet. I'm going out XYZ day....you should come with me. Or, you could simply say, "I want to take you out but I'm busy this week. I am free next Thursday though..."

DO NOT spend more than that much time with her. Be sure to preface your conversation with a false time constraint...I'm hanging out with my friends, so I only have a few minutes, but I snuck out to call you. I want to take you...blah, blah, blah.

Set up the day of the date. If she asks what you're going to do, tell her it's a surprise. Then, the day before you meet up with her, drop her text and say something like: "I know you're all excited about tomorrow and you can't function too well...but, be patent. By the way, wear something sexy..."

Then tell her that you'll pick her up OR that you'll meet her wherever. And, that's all you need to do.

Setting up a REAL date is more important to here right now than anything else.

[Guest]

Thanks for all the advice. Called her up, kept it short and sweet, and the conversation was pleasant. Now I have a date for this weekend. Forgot make the date plans a surprise, as suggested, but everything seems to be going okay so far. Now lets just see if she flakes again.....

[Guest]

Things did not go totally according to plan this weekend, but I'm not sure yet if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Here's the FR of sorts. She called me Friday afternoon to cancel the date, (something I would have never expected her to do). The reason why; she had to go out of town that night because of work (I won't say what city, but it's a 3 or 4 hour drive away from me). Coincidentally, I had been mulling over plans to spend Friday night in the same city, because a friend of mine was djing at some bar that night, and some of my friends were gonna be there. I told her about this, and she said "You should totally come!" and offered to put me up in her hotel. I said fuck it and agreed. Suddenly her texts started coming more frequently.

Here's where I may have DLVed myself. I learned after that my friend was actually djing Saturday night, but he invited me to come out anyway, because some of my friends were going to be spending the weekend out of town. I couldn't stay all weekend long, so I decided to go just for Friday night, as a fun spur of the moment thing.

Another possible sore spot (I'll explain why soon enough) she texts me to tell me her assistant is riding with her, and asks me who I am going with. I tell her I'm going alone, but that my friends will be there. I have to go alone because I have to be back in town on Saturday, and no one else is staying for just one night. The hotel situation is not totally clear, so I don't know how things will pan out with the assistant there (who at that point I didn't even know if she was a boy or girl).

I get into town, go straight to the bar where I'm supposed to meet up with her, as well as my friends. Two drinks in and she arrives with her assistant, who is also at this point in her life her best girlfriend. About 3 minutes later, my friends arrive giving me instant social proof. I also have to explain to her that I made a mistake about when my friend was really going to be djing, but that I came anyway just to hang out, which may have DLVed me.

Immediately I bounce with the girl and her friend to three other places. One sore spot about the interaction was that she would often walk away and lead the group from location to location (she being most familiar with the city but because she was leading the way the whole time, though, I feel like I wasn't as in charge of the situation as I could've been.), and seemed a little uncomfortable about standing next to me the whole time. I would counter this by trying not to force standing/walking next to her, but letting it happen organically, and trying to put my hands on her only when appropriate (did not get as much compliance here as I would've wanted ideally). Sometimes she would talk directly to her assistant as though I wasn't there (partly out of nervousness?), but when I did talk to them I was able to engage both of them just fine. The friend being there might have also played a factor because she seemed to be more comfortable with me one on one, on the few times when her friend would be gone from the group for a brief period of time.

Finally we went back to the hotel (though I was pulled over on the way; no ticket luckily!). It was one room with two king size beds. The assistant gets one bed, and I share the second with my target. Logistically sex was impossible, but we did cuddle. Before the lights went out, she kept asking me why I had just stopped talking to her for 8 months (it wasn't 8 months), which I kind of brushed off by saying (and smiling the whole time) "you didn't talk to me for 8 months either." At first when I tried to hold her in bed, she put up resistance, telling me to scoot over, but soon, she was scooting over closer to me. I tried to kiss her a few times, and she put up resistance for that too, only allowing me to get a few in, only one or two with tongue.

We fell asleep in each others' arms, but at some point in the night we split apart. In the morning, while the assistant slept, I tried shooting for a make-out, but she would not comply and would not even kiss me. I decided to change my tactic. I figured that she is uncomfortable with the idea of kissing me, so I should do something else to try and make her feel comfortable until she is ready to kiss and eventually have sex (a tactic that worked once with an ex-gf of mine, when I slept with her long after we broke up, but it took a about 3 or 4 nights of gradual escalation before we finally had sex). I concentrated on spooning with her, and caressing her in different ways that would make her feel safe. This seemed to work, as it would make her nuzzle in closer, hold on to me tighter, and sometimes caress me back. At one point she got up to brush her teeth and she came back to bed, but I still didn't think I had enough comfort, and I had been shot down too many times to risk trying to kiss her again, so I continued with the same tactic.

At noon the friend was still asleep so we ducked out to get breakfast. There, I talked about the last time I saw her, and how she kept saying she never wanted to see me again, in between making out with me. I was smiling when I brought this up. She laughed and said she didn't remember, and was mildly embarrassed, and even brought it up again later in the day, saying she couldn't believe it. She picked up her friend and then we went to check out this really old cemetery in town, where we all hung out for a bit (it was my suggestion). Then they went back where they had to shower up and eventually get to work. The assistant showered first and I laid on the bed just talking with my target.

When the assistant got out of the shower I decided to head home. My target walked me to my car. We kissed twice on the mouth goodbye. No tongue. She texts me on the car ride home, and texts me a shit load of times that evening. At one point we are texting each other lyrics from songs were singing the night before.

She texts me today on her way back. I tell her I will call her to keep her from getting bored on the drive home. She writes back "cool". I call her eventually, and we talk for a while.

Here is where I start once again to get the nagging suspicion I am being played. She tells me a bunch of guys were hitting on her and her friend Saturday night. They asked for her number, and she gave it because she doesn't know what else to do in those situations. It felt like shit-test. I acted interested and amused by the anecdote, but I think I did a pretty good job of not seeming jealous. We are supposed to see each other again on Tuesday, but something in her tone of voice (I can't really explain it) made her seem wishy washy about the plans suddenly, and like she might cancel (this could also be my imagination).

Immediately after I got off the phone with her, she texted me her e-mail address, because I told her I would send her a link to a website we talked about over the phone. Along with that was a text saying "It's my work email, so no noodz". About a half-hour later I wrote back "You've already seen what I look like naked anyway. ;)" No reply yet.

I don't know if this is an innergame issue or just an issue of overthinking things, but I have a feeling that things did not go so well in the end. Not sure where to go from here except to set up another meeting with her on Tuesday and see what happens.

Any comments, feedback, suggestions?

[Guest]

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[Guest]

Well, I don't know how we would've fucked with the friend in the room. Dominance is a major issue with this one, you're right. Like I said, she's very into power games. I thought this weekend, the thing to do would be to drop the games and just try and act as natural as possible, and just assume she is chasing me, but give her a chance to catch me as well. I also wanted to act in a way that qualifies her chasing efforts. I think I succeeded in that for sure, but I don't know if it's the right plan of action.