Making them jump through hoops.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;39677]I'm curious about this. It has worked for me in the past. I already have fun plans, so tell the girl to meet up with me and tag along. Maybe I wouldn't consider it a Day 2, but more a way of getting her out on a "date" that's non-comittal, in which I can build enough comfort for a real one-on-one day 2 later.

This meet-up in particular, I was hanging out with a bunch of other girls (I don't remember if I mentioned that to her or not), and surely that would've given me pre-selection, no?[/QUOTE]


Why have a pre-date before the real date? That makes no sense. 12 year olds have group dates, men do not. Act like a man. Get her out with you alone. Period. Done. You're adding steps to the process that shouldn't exist and it's giving you more chances to fuck things up. This is why you want to take the shortest route to sex as possible. The fewer the steps the fewer opportunities women have to say 'no.'

Having friends that are girls is not pre-selection. I think it would actually hurt you. You're surrounded by all of these girls that you DON'T or HAVEN'T fucked. It makes you look like a pussy that can't get laid. Pre-selection is when you flirt with another woman in front of your woman or vice versa. Pre-selection is photos from the past of you and your ex or any photo with you and a hottie. Pre-selection is when you and your girl bump into an ex of yours at a bar. Pre-selection is fundamentally when your girl believes that other girls want to OR have fucked you. Having a group of girl-friends does not make your girl think other girls want to fuck you.

My suggestion is to save the day2s for just you and your girl. Use your friends to build your value and social status higher AFTER it's already established that she likes you. Frankly, never introducing her to your friends is just as good as if you do, definitely better for frame control. I'll talk about my friends and how cool they are and how much fun we have as a group, tell stories about our exploits, etc. And yet never introduce her to them so that she understands that she and I are pretty much just fuck buddies right now. Also, on the nights she doesn't hear from you she's going to be thinking that you're out with your boys getting into trouble and chasing after pussy. And, you WANT her to think this, she wants to think this, it gets her pussy wet.

[Guest]

Based on the advice I got here, I gave it another go with a new girl:

Fuzz: Hi
HB: Hey!
(ten minutes later)
HB: What's up? How are you
Fuzz: Really awesome. Found a new apartment!
HB: Oh awesome! Near [neighborhood deleted]?
Fuzz: Well....pretty close by there.
HB: Woooo
Fuzz: You have to help me celebrate this week.
HB: For sure ! Its also my bday
Fuzz: Really, today? Happy birthday!
HB: No on friday!
Fuzz: Well, we should do a double celebration. I am free thursday or sunday night. Which works best for you?
HB: Um...maybe sunday?
Fuzz: Did you have something already planned for friday?
HB: Yeahhh you know how me and my girls do planning a whole bday week
Fuzz: I know. I can see it now -- shoplifting spree!
(reference to when she was arrested for shoplifting as a teenager)
HB: Haha im 23 now Fuzz....aka sophisticated not a hoodrat
Fuzz: Ok miss sophisticated 23, then i'll pick you up around 8 on sunday and we'll go some place classy. ;)
HB: Lol okay drinks on you
HB: =)
Fuzz: First round on me. Second round on you. And if you behave (i.e. don't pick anyone's pocket) i might get you a birthday shot. ;)
HB: Wow
HB: You really know how to spoil a girl
(I wait a day to reply)
Fuzz: I can spoil women just fine, i just don't believe in bribing people for their company. If that means you don't wanna hang out, no hard feelings.
HB: Ouch. I didnt mean it like that.
(twenty minutes later)
HB: I guess maybe my jokes arent that funny. I will keep myself on check! Cool?
Fuzz: We need to work on your delivery, but luckily i'm taking an improv comedy class. Maybe i'll give you some pointers on sunday. :)
HB: Well im glad you can see past my gold digging ways.

I don't plan to contact again until Sunday, except maybe a quick happy b-day text on Friday.

Comments on how I handled this?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;39804]Based on the advice I got here, I gave it another go with a new girl:

Fuzz: Hi
HB: Hey!
(ten minutes later)
HB: What's up? How are you
Fuzz: Really awesome. Found a new apartment!
HB: Oh awesome! Near [neighborhood deleted]?
Fuzz: Well....pretty close by there.
HB: Woooo
Fuzz: You have to help me celebrate this week.
HB: For sure ! Its also my bday
Fuzz: Really, today? Happy birthday!
HB: No on friday!
Fuzz: Well, we should do a double celebration. I am free thursday or sunday night. Which works best for you?
HB: Um...maybe sunday?
Fuzz: I'll pick you up around 8 on sunday and we'll go some place classy
HB: Lol okay drinks on you
HB: =)
Fuzz: First round on me. Second round on you. And if you behave I might get you a birthday shot.
HB: Wow
HB: You really know how to spoil a girl
[/QUOTE]

The above would have been a much better, tighter thread with her. I would have finished the thread off with this final volley:

Fuzz: You have no idea...

Everything else you wrote in the volley was just fluff and increased the odds that she'll change her mind or flake.

All that mess at the end was terrible though man:

Fuzz: I can spoil women just fine, i just don't believe in bribing people for their company. If that means you don't wanna hang out, no hard feelings.

You sound like a dick right here. You sound defensive and rude. And, you kind of sound like a big baby man. She was being playful and you responded by being defensive, douchey, and rude.

HB: Ouch. I didnt mean it like that.
(twenty minutes later)
HB: I guess maybe my jokes arent that funny. I will keep myself on check! Cool?

I think she likes you otherwise she wouldn't have responded this way. Hard to say if she really had her feelings hurt or not. But, most women wouldn't take too well to what you said and how you said it considering it wasn't necessary.

Fuzz: We need to work on your delivery, but luckily i'm taking an improv comedy class. Maybe i'll give you some pointers on sunday. :)

Again, your response was uncalled for. All you had to say was "No worries" or "Cool? Definitely" or "Cool." In a different context your line may have been OK but not in this context. You're keeping the I'm kind of a rude, prick (and not in a good way) vibe going.

HB: Well im glad you can see past my gold digging ways.

Not sure what to think about this but don't be surprised if it's her way of saying go fuck yourself. Like I said, hard to say.

I think a happy b-day text on Friday would be fine. Be sure to do it at some odd hour like 5pm or something. Earlier than that and it seems like you're eager to wish her a happy b-day, later than that and it seems like you don't have a life because you're texting her while you should be partying. From there you'll find out if Sunday is still on because if it is she'll engage you via text. If it's not still on, then she'll say something like thanks or something that doesn't warrant a response.

[Guest]

Yeah, I may have blown myself out here. I was definitely coming at it from the beginning with a negative belief that things would go wrong (based on my last two failures). Failure breeds more failure, and one of the things I'm trying to work on overall is not getting so bummed out or emotionally wrapped up when things do go wrong.

[Guest]

I will also add:

HB: Um...maybe sunday?

This is point where I started to doubt the interaction. It was too wishy-washy a reply, much like I was getting from the last two.

I then began to wonder if she reacted that way because she would have preferred if I had asked her out Friday, not that there would've been anyway I could this week. I was basically anticipating a flake, which is probably not a good mindset to go into it.