Lol I wasn't attempting to be insulting, I was just skeptical. To be honest having read some of your posts in the past IC I've been skeptical, but it really doesn't matter what I think because it's not my life. Best of luck to you.
BR, be condescending all you want yo, it's fine. We know you're alpha, so just take it easy.
Best of luck to you IC, hope you find a girl worth your time and effort.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
not good enough...it won't go away; please provide your thoughts to get over this
21 posts
• Page 2 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
by Guest » Fri Mar 20, 2009 3:11 pm
[quote1237579525=Bull Run]
As for his post, he is right. Finding a girl that you actually want to spend any extended period of time with is much, much more difficult than actually finding one to fuck.
[/quote1237579525]
Agreed but how about only fucking girls you, in the right circumstances, would want to keep around (for the most part)? Unless yours is more of a numbers game overall, which is fine and I respect that. Once you have done everything there isn't as much appeal to keep doing it over and over and over.
[quote1237579525=Bull Run]
Further, keeping a girl that you want is an even more difficult challenge than actually getting her. I, along with a handful of others here, can attest to this. And, I'm not talking just a handful of guys or guys that aren't really all that good...I'm talking about some of the big dogs. Obviously, I will not name names because these are personal issues.
[/quote1237579525]
I'm not sure I agree with this. Its more knowledge and wordliness to keep her. And effort of course. But ultimately more rewarding. Maybe it also requires another level or subset of skills not often discussed on this forum.
[quote1237579525=Bull Run]
IC travels all the fucking time. This lifestyle promotes one night stands. Out of town sarging is fucking awesome. You'll be surprised how SNLs just seem to always fall in your lap. Literally. (I'm not taking away from IC's skill, just stating a dynamic that I, and others, have discussed in the past).
[/quote1237579525]
No doubt. Best way to learn hands down. Far away from social circle, comfort zone, etc. You will get laid if you have the balls and the skill (learn).
Also .. learn to dance - good one there. Hard but doable. Skill again.
As for his post, he is right. Finding a girl that you actually want to spend any extended period of time with is much, much more difficult than actually finding one to fuck.
[/quote1237579525]
Agreed but how about only fucking girls you, in the right circumstances, would want to keep around (for the most part)? Unless yours is more of a numbers game overall, which is fine and I respect that. Once you have done everything there isn't as much appeal to keep doing it over and over and over.
[quote1237579525=Bull Run]
Further, keeping a girl that you want is an even more difficult challenge than actually getting her. I, along with a handful of others here, can attest to this. And, I'm not talking just a handful of guys or guys that aren't really all that good...I'm talking about some of the big dogs. Obviously, I will not name names because these are personal issues.
[/quote1237579525]
I'm not sure I agree with this. Its more knowledge and wordliness to keep her. And effort of course. But ultimately more rewarding. Maybe it also requires another level or subset of skills not often discussed on this forum.
[quote1237579525=Bull Run]
IC travels all the fucking time. This lifestyle promotes one night stands. Out of town sarging is fucking awesome. You'll be surprised how SNLs just seem to always fall in your lap. Literally. (I'm not taking away from IC's skill, just stating a dynamic that I, and others, have discussed in the past).
[/quote1237579525]
No doubt. Best way to learn hands down. Far away from social circle, comfort zone, etc. You will get laid if you have the balls and the skill (learn).
Also .. learn to dance - good one there. Hard but doable. Skill again.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:31 am
[blockquote]I am me, I'm not the things I've lived with all my life. [/blockquote]
,but who are you. Until you are who you want to be then you will never get the girl you want to be with. It seems to me like you feel like your life is lacking for some reason. If it's something you can change, do it. If you cannot change it accept it. I know this sounds gay, but humans release most sadness and pain by expressing it in tears and yelling. Find a friend or counselor who will let you talk to them calmly about it and will not judge you.
As far as relationships I think relationships are not for us to sit and stagnate. It saddens me how many guys in the community get into a relationship and then come out so miserable. Relationships to me are about growing as a person. This is the sole reason I will break up with a girl. It is an agreement that I make before we start going out and reiterate throughout the relationship. I say in order for us to be in this relationship both me and you will always have to help each other grow as people and if at any point this stops then we must end the relationship, will there be pain? Yes. Sadness? Absolutely, but I will always love you for what we have shared with each other and what greater people we have become because of each other. I have never had a bad breakup in this mindset. It gives every day so much more meaning if you know it could end at any moment. The other side of the coin is that life can also begin at any moment, why not now?
As for finding a girl.. well you will never find a perfect one they all have their faults, but if you add them all together I find there is alot of perfection. It's not about finding the perfect one, it's about finding the perfect in each, and only then will you find the girl that has the piece of perfection that fits perfectly with your piece of it.
,but who are you. Until you are who you want to be then you will never get the girl you want to be with. It seems to me like you feel like your life is lacking for some reason. If it's something you can change, do it. If you cannot change it accept it. I know this sounds gay, but humans release most sadness and pain by expressing it in tears and yelling. Find a friend or counselor who will let you talk to them calmly about it and will not judge you.
As far as relationships I think relationships are not for us to sit and stagnate. It saddens me how many guys in the community get into a relationship and then come out so miserable. Relationships to me are about growing as a person. This is the sole reason I will break up with a girl. It is an agreement that I make before we start going out and reiterate throughout the relationship. I say in order for us to be in this relationship both me and you will always have to help each other grow as people and if at any point this stops then we must end the relationship, will there be pain? Yes. Sadness? Absolutely, but I will always love you for what we have shared with each other and what greater people we have become because of each other. I have never had a bad breakup in this mindset. It gives every day so much more meaning if you know it could end at any moment. The other side of the coin is that life can also begin at any moment, why not now?
As for finding a girl.. well you will never find a perfect one they all have their faults, but if you add them all together I find there is alot of perfection. It's not about finding the perfect one, it's about finding the perfect in each, and only then will you find the girl that has the piece of perfection that fits perfectly with your piece of it.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:06 am
Awesome post zine! Relationships are definitely about learning and growing - i've taken major lessons from pretty much every relationship usually even the shorter ones.
ic, as far as your original post about not being good enough, a lot has already been said, but it sounds to me like somewhere along the lines when you were growing up someone (sounds like maybe dad) told you or made you feel you were not good enough -- that is just a complete guess on my part based on what i've seen here, tho i've read (and enjoyed) most of your posts since i joined. There is no way this mindset is this ingrained in you without it having come from your developmental years. Maybe you are well aware of what makes these things run through your head and just haven't posted it -- I find figuring out the reason why these negative thoughts persist is the first key to overcoming them long term.
This also of course falls under the category of 'limiting belief', but some limiting beliefs can be overcome by just realizing it's a limited belief... this is the kindyou really have to work to get past unfortunately -- i should know i have the same one with a slightly different twist. When you figure out how to get over yours let me know ;)
The interesting thing to me it seems like (from an outside perspective knowing you from only your posts) is that this one inner game issue is really the only one you have holding you back - some of us have multiples we are still dealing with, so consider yourself lucky ya sonovabitch ;) what you have isn't the easiest to overcome, but also not the hardest either.
which do you think is worse? to think you are not good enough when you really are, or to know you really just aren't good enough? from my perspective, you're in the first boat and i'm in the latter. i'd rather be in your shoes :) i'm not saying that to bitch, because most of my issues are temporary and fixable if i choose to put the effort in to fix them. Perhaps you just need to take a serious assessment of where you've come from and where you are... because from my perspective you are so far along on your journey compared to me at such a younger age, and I know I'm not the only one in this boat. You are good enough, so you need to start training your mind to catch yourself when that negative 'i'm not good enough' thought slips in and say 'what the fuck? i am the fucking shit!'
You're so money, and you don't even know it!
I actually went and looked that quote up to make sure it was right (yeah, i'm that guy), and found this other interesting quote from swingers that applies:
"You gotta let go of the past. And Mikey, when you do, I'm telling you: the future is beautiful, alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it! We are here. And everything that is past is prologued to this. All of the shit that didn't kill us is only - you know, all that shit."
Me? I'm pretty sure I can let go of the past when I fix the present... but it sounds like you've fixed the present and can't let go of the past.
OH yeah, the whole present/past thing did give me one other suggestion for you - read: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle -- it won't fix all your shit, but it'll help :) That shit in the past doesn't exist anywhere but in our heads -- same with the future.*
* Theoretical physics may prove this last point wrong, but it does not affect this argument ;) OK, it might affect this argument depending on whether you believe in the multiple universes/dimensions theory of quantum mechanics -- but in that case you are still good. In some universes you solved this problem quickly and in others you never let it go -- I hope this is one of the universe you are in where you do -- if not and this theory is true you're pretty much totally fucked sorry on that one bud ;) If you believe in this theory, it's already happened/will happen :) Not leaving physics behind yet, I'm also a strong believer that even if you don't believe in the multiple universes/dimension theory of quantum mechanics, that we at least in a limited way shape our own destiny through quantum mechanics. For me, this is part of limiting beliefs - your limiting belief besides your own actions actually affects/shapes your local reality by your own observation and belief. The reverse is also true it also explains why cockiness works in pickup -- either your perception of reality wins or becomes mutual ;) That one is totally a personal belief tho and not any particle physics theory i've ever heard of :)
ic, as far as your original post about not being good enough, a lot has already been said, but it sounds to me like somewhere along the lines when you were growing up someone (sounds like maybe dad) told you or made you feel you were not good enough -- that is just a complete guess on my part based on what i've seen here, tho i've read (and enjoyed) most of your posts since i joined. There is no way this mindset is this ingrained in you without it having come from your developmental years. Maybe you are well aware of what makes these things run through your head and just haven't posted it -- I find figuring out the reason why these negative thoughts persist is the first key to overcoming them long term.
This also of course falls under the category of 'limiting belief', but some limiting beliefs can be overcome by just realizing it's a limited belief... this is the kindyou really have to work to get past unfortunately -- i should know i have the same one with a slightly different twist. When you figure out how to get over yours let me know ;)
The interesting thing to me it seems like (from an outside perspective knowing you from only your posts) is that this one inner game issue is really the only one you have holding you back - some of us have multiples we are still dealing with, so consider yourself lucky ya sonovabitch ;) what you have isn't the easiest to overcome, but also not the hardest either.
which do you think is worse? to think you are not good enough when you really are, or to know you really just aren't good enough? from my perspective, you're in the first boat and i'm in the latter. i'd rather be in your shoes :) i'm not saying that to bitch, because most of my issues are temporary and fixable if i choose to put the effort in to fix them. Perhaps you just need to take a serious assessment of where you've come from and where you are... because from my perspective you are so far along on your journey compared to me at such a younger age, and I know I'm not the only one in this boat. You are good enough, so you need to start training your mind to catch yourself when that negative 'i'm not good enough' thought slips in and say 'what the fuck? i am the fucking shit!'
You're so money, and you don't even know it!
I actually went and looked that quote up to make sure it was right (yeah, i'm that guy), and found this other interesting quote from swingers that applies:
"You gotta let go of the past. And Mikey, when you do, I'm telling you: the future is beautiful, alright? Look out the window. It's sunny every day here. It's like manifest destiny. Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it! We are here. And everything that is past is prologued to this. All of the shit that didn't kill us is only - you know, all that shit."
Me? I'm pretty sure I can let go of the past when I fix the present... but it sounds like you've fixed the present and can't let go of the past.
OH yeah, the whole present/past thing did give me one other suggestion for you - read: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle -- it won't fix all your shit, but it'll help :) That shit in the past doesn't exist anywhere but in our heads -- same with the future.*
* Theoretical physics may prove this last point wrong, but it does not affect this argument ;) OK, it might affect this argument depending on whether you believe in the multiple universes/dimensions theory of quantum mechanics -- but in that case you are still good. In some universes you solved this problem quickly and in others you never let it go -- I hope this is one of the universe you are in where you do -- if not and this theory is true you're pretty much totally fucked sorry on that one bud ;) If you believe in this theory, it's already happened/will happen :) Not leaving physics behind yet, I'm also a strong believer that even if you don't believe in the multiple universes/dimension theory of quantum mechanics, that we at least in a limited way shape our own destiny through quantum mechanics. For me, this is part of limiting beliefs - your limiting belief besides your own actions actually affects/shapes your local reality by your own observation and belief. The reverse is also true it also explains why cockiness works in pickup -- either your perception of reality wins or becomes mutual ;) That one is totally a personal belief tho and not any particle physics theory i've ever heard of :)
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:12 pm
[quote1237777356=zine]
[blockquote]I am me, I'm not the things I've lived with all my life. [/blockquote]
As for finding a girl.. well you will never find a perfect one they all have their faults, but if you add them all together I find there is alot of perfection. It's not about finding the perfect one, it's about finding the perfect in each, and only then will you find the girl that has the piece of perfection that fits perfectly with your piece of it.
[/quote1237777356]
Yep...we met up yesterday, she did a few "red-flags" that I know to avoid. I went home with a little 1/4 Japanese honey who was probably the coolest chick I've met in a year's time. If I didn't have to leave Austin yesterday for Houston today, I would be with her right now...holy shit!
Right now I'm in a mood and nursing my bruised vagina, but I'll snap out soon and continue the hunt. I'm still not ready for a relationship, too many things to go through to get there. I really want to get back to dallas though, I've had my fix of the suitcase...its been 3-years of 300+days per year in marriott hotels. I'm over it and taking May and June off and you can find me at the W, lounging by the pool.
[blockquote]I am me, I'm not the things I've lived with all my life. [/blockquote]
As for finding a girl.. well you will never find a perfect one they all have their faults, but if you add them all together I find there is alot of perfection. It's not about finding the perfect one, it's about finding the perfect in each, and only then will you find the girl that has the piece of perfection that fits perfectly with your piece of it.
[/quote1237777356]
Yep...we met up yesterday, she did a few "red-flags" that I know to avoid. I went home with a little 1/4 Japanese honey who was probably the coolest chick I've met in a year's time. If I didn't have to leave Austin yesterday for Houston today, I would be with her right now...holy shit!
Right now I'm in a mood and nursing my bruised vagina, but I'll snap out soon and continue the hunt. I'm still not ready for a relationship, too many things to go through to get there. I really want to get back to dallas though, I've had my fix of the suitcase...its been 3-years of 300+days per year in marriott hotels. I'm over it and taking May and June off and you can find me at the W, lounging by the pool.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:05 pm
yea I think that's a good idea if what you want is a long term girl. Man I've had some great flings, but nothing beats the true virtue and learning I get out of one girl who really knows me down to a t. It's sometimes hard for me to open up, but every day I get better at it because of the great women in my life. I think you already know the answers to alot of your questions already, but you have to start believing in yourself. I know this may not mean much since we don't really know each other, but I believe in you dude. It's not about searching always for her. It's about making it easy for her to find you. Ask yourself what work you have to do in order to accomplish that, and use the motivation I know is within you to achieve it.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Mar 25, 2009 5:15 pm
[quote1238019113=zine]
yea I think that's a good idea if what you want is a long term girl. Man I've had some great flings, but nothing beats the true virtue and learning I get out of one girl who really knows me down to a t. It's sometimes hard for me to open up, but every day I get better at it because of the great women in my life. [b]I think you already know the answers to alot of your questions already, but you have to start believing in yourself.[/b] I know this may not mean much since we don't really know each other, but I believe in you dude. It's not about searching always for her. It's about making it easy for her to find you. Ask yourself what work you have to do in order to accomplish that, and use the motivation I know is within you to achieve it.
[/quote1238019113]
I've been dealing with self-confidence issues my entire life. I still have a hard time looking at current pictures of myself because I'm just not comfortable with the way I look. However, I know I must overcome this shit today if I want to smile tomorrow, and comments like yours motivate the positivity in my life.
It really hurt when this chick threw up the red flag, and it scared me...I wanted her. Now that you're well-versed in the game do you find that women leaving or going away still hurts? I don't know that I want to or can deal with going through that shit again. This tells me I need to invest less of myself into relationships, but I don't know that I'm capable of keeping it healthy, yet.
eek! I just divulged a lot of shit to the public.
yea I think that's a good idea if what you want is a long term girl. Man I've had some great flings, but nothing beats the true virtue and learning I get out of one girl who really knows me down to a t. It's sometimes hard for me to open up, but every day I get better at it because of the great women in my life. [b]I think you already know the answers to alot of your questions already, but you have to start believing in yourself.[/b] I know this may not mean much since we don't really know each other, but I believe in you dude. It's not about searching always for her. It's about making it easy for her to find you. Ask yourself what work you have to do in order to accomplish that, and use the motivation I know is within you to achieve it.
[/quote1238019113]
I've been dealing with self-confidence issues my entire life. I still have a hard time looking at current pictures of myself because I'm just not comfortable with the way I look. However, I know I must overcome this shit today if I want to smile tomorrow, and comments like yours motivate the positivity in my life.
It really hurt when this chick threw up the red flag, and it scared me...I wanted her. Now that you're well-versed in the game do you find that women leaving or going away still hurts? I don't know that I want to or can deal with going through that shit again. This tells me I need to invest less of myself into relationships, but I don't know that I'm capable of keeping it healthy, yet.
eek! I just divulged a lot of shit to the public.
- Guest
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