She threw out the dreaded 4 letter word.....

[Guest]

One way or another you have to tell her you're not ready for that. Sal Paradise had a pretty good response. You can also talk about past mistakes you've made, giving in to relationship pressure, which ended up hurting girls feelings, and you want to avoid doing that again.

Do not use the frame of "I don't like you enough."

Use the frame of "I feel you pressuring me and the right thing to do is to resist the pressure in order to protect you." If all goes well, she will respect you for being solid in yourself, and she'll appreciate you looking out for her, and she'll try not to pressure you any more.

[Guest]

I disagree. You can't turn a woman's 'love' switch off, you can only get her to stop telling you how she feels. If you have half a brain you know she still feels that way.

The best thing? Be respectful of someone else's feelings and cut her loose. There are plenty of others out there that won't just jump in.

I strung a girl on like this for over a year. Bad things happened there, bad things. And, all of it to her...

[Guest]

I would take a frame of responsibility. Something like, "as a rule, I don't rush these decisions. I take this very seriously. I don't like to establish unrealistic expectations too early. So to be fair, I don't want an exclusive relationship at this time, and I'm not going to say that I do just to tell you what you want to hear. If you can't continue with the way things are, then I'll understand, although I would like to continue to see you."

[Guest]

see and this is how the phone convo went and she seemed to understand that I didnt want a exclusive relationship, but i also stressed the fact that i wanted to still see her but we are just too far apart to do the relationship thing.