The more I try and open...

[Bitches]

Now I know everyone says that "Just keep opening up sets and eventually you will become numb and won't care about your AA anymore." While I am trying to believe this "fact" I really think it is having a very negative effect on me. It seems like the more and more I open and get turned down, the less enthusiastic I get, which then leads me to become complete miserable. Shouldn't there be just a little taste of success somewhere? Even a person that has not shot a basketball in their life will make a couple of shots.

Am I over thinking the process?

~Bitches

[Bull Run]

Am I over thinking the process?

Yes. Keep opening, keep learning. You're getting blown out because you're visibly uncomfortable or not acting congruent to your true personality.

[Vector]

There are different philosophies on this. I took a bootcamp precisely because I had been so bad at opening, and it was consistently unpleasant and I had just stopped doing approaches.

I don't advocate trying to desensitize yourself, though I know others do. I would say what you really need is feedback.

A boot camp is definitely not necessary, but do find some other people who know what they're doing and have them point out what you're doing wrong. Most things with opening are pretty easily fixable, IMO. There's no point beating your head against the wall.

[Tribulus1000]

Hey Bitches,
(Love the name btw).

You should change the venues where you go.

There are lots of options when it comes to nightgame: anything from Country bars to Ultralounges to hole in the walls. Try a traditional Irish pub or do some karaoke.

Karaoke works for me because I can do that and get pumped up and then follow up on another venue.

If you're in Dallas, try Fort Worth.

You can also do some of that state pumping stuff.
One of the best ones in this category is Cajun's "Jagger off" which is where you go out with a buddy and you have to imitate Mick Jagger of The Rolling Stones whenever your buddy calls out "Jagger Off".

Slower venues have less girls but sometimes your competition is less.

There's an art to picking the right venue. I have some places I go where I've never seen anyone from the community.

[playercool]

Do you have any idea why you are not having success?
Are you having any success with opening and transitioning? Or do you get blown out before you even open your mouth?

[Kit]

Some suggest starting the night opening sets with guys, the bartender, ugly girls, anything that may give you some early success and confidence to build on.

Also, we all face rejection on some level in virtually every set. Some stuff works and some stuff doesn't. If we don't get the response we want, we shift into something else. Nothing ever goes perfect, but take the little wins and build on them.

Even when you watch Mystery on video, some of his stuff doesn't get much of a reaction, but he either reinforces it deeper or moves to something else until get gets the reaction he is looking for. Maybe you are giving up too fast? You really do have to get through some shit tests most of the time. I find it helps to smile. Learn to smile for no reason. Even when you're telling your wingman how fucking scared you are to make the next approach, smile while you are saying it.

The last time I went out my friend and I opened a set with some very hot women that went quite well. A few minutes later I was on a high opening sets with any woman I walked past. I made the mistake of opening a 2 set with these two women leaning against the wall like fucking boriing wall flowers. They were below our standards but I just wanted to keep rolling. It went crappy. Rather than getting down on myself, I realized these women were boring and would probably be bored all night - that's why they were leaning against the wall instead of socializing. I analyzed my mistake in the set and it was blown before I ever opened it.

What I am saying is, you're going to face failures but don't be negative! Look for what went right and build on that. If something went wrong don't be afraid to analyze why.

[dubya]

Am I over thinking the process?

For the time being, stop thinking about pick up. Stop being outcome dependent. Just talk to people.

Talk to people everywhere. If you're standing in line at Starbucks say something to the girl behind you about the cheesecake in the display cabinet. If you're on an elevator talk to the guy next to you about how you hate the little jerky movement the car makes when it reaches the floor. If you're in a bookstore and you see someone with a Manga book ask them how long it takes to get used to reading books backwards.

Open with anything... open with everything... "Hey, how did you do on that test...?" don't you work across the hall...?" "do you know where a good Chinese buffet is (ask a fat woman)... ?" "Does Diet Dr. Pepper really taste like regular Dr. Pepper...?" "Where DID you get a chicken costume, did you make that yourself? And you where that in public too...?"


Talk to people everywhere. Talk to everyone, everywhere. Talk about whatever is in front of you. Don't worry about numbers or fucking it up. Just talk to people.

Don't think just talk.

[Twitchy]

Bitches, sorry you are having trouble.

Usually, I find that when guys get shot down every time right from the beginning, it is usually something fundamental that speaks of how you carry yourself.

It could be body language, eye contact, posture, hygiene, style, etc.

If you want, I will meet up with you for lunch and give you an honest assessment of how I perceive you and provide advice on how to improve. I have done this in the past with other guys and they were able to make changes and become more successful.

Message me if you are interested.

[isosceles cheese]

i have to flip the switch, and I don't know how I do it. When i don't have the switch flipped, I seem to think about every woman who's ever treated me bad. Last weekend I went out, and it was like I was Midas, everything was hitting. Then, yesterday, I talked to a girl and suddenly could see my xgf standing there in front of me with whatever she replaced me with, I went cold, and ejected.

Make sure you have fun when you go out. Turn on the competitive "take no prisoners" approach. Just go in thinking you already locked this thing up, and you just have to guide the process on its course.

[Kit]

Here is an example of what I was saying about failures and shit tests.

Maybe these are not true shit tests, but watch this video and the body language of these two women. I think you will agree they do not seem very interested and borderline annoyed.

The old me would have felt like I was failing miserably if the women were responding to me like this. Now I realize that you have to work through their natural defenses. It doesn't mean you're rejected just because they don't respond initially.

If you ask me, this guy was boring with what he had to say. He doesn't seem very bright or witty or quick and only seems to know how to have "what do you think of this weather" type conversations. If he can get email addresses and he claims they now stalk him, then you can too if you are smarter and have more interesting things to say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCLB8NeBmo

After you watch this video, then watch this next video of Mystery going through a shit test.

I mean come on, Mystery is great at this shit and even he is getting rejected but he doesn't give up!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1p2do ... s_creation

Point is, we all face rejection. Keep plowing until you win them over.