90% Conversation - scary!

[MagicBalls]

So _The Mystery Method_ says that in the beginning you have to lead the conversation by 90%.

Man. It's such a stretch for me. This is the hardest part for me to swallow. It's also the most important. Sarging the entire group is the backbone of gaining attraction and trust in the beginning. I like to sit back and observe, and occasionally tell a story if I got one. But to know that the whole deal is depending on your delivery is very scary. It just doesn't flow out from me naturally like some people. When I tell a story, the most I get is an occasional chuckle, a question or two, and a few uncomfortable silences. A lot of bored faces that look like they wish they were somewhere else. Occasionally I do tell a story with a lot of energy but I have to be really fired up with a Monster drink or something.

How long does it take to memorize enough stuff to sarge a set? And to practice it? Roughly about how many minutes or hours of material do you need? I'm a good actor, but I'm wondering if fear and insecurity will get the best of me. I'm also wondering that if I go up to a set, somebody in the group's already heard the stories. Is there any way to practice this before hitting the field? Maybe we should have study groups where we help each other memorize material and give each other feedback to get a good handle on it before taking it into the wild.

[Vector]

You don't need that much canned stuff. Most of the time I will riff off of something they say, and sorta guide it to support a screening frame.

HB: i'm from ohio
V: it's really interesting how people from different places have different characteristics. I used to live in Austin, and one of the things I like about it, or rather one of the things I don't like about Dallas, is how the girls are sorta fake. Bleached hair, fake tits, not too smart, really focused on money, etc...
HB: Oh yeah, I've noticed that too, I'm nothing like that...

Blah blah blah...

And if I've got a few routines up my sleeve, I can pull them out when my set needs a little CPR. And knowing I have them available helps me be more confident.

One thing I did which helped, was I wrote out the routines exactly like I would say them. Written language is not quite the same as spoken, so I would say it and actually write down what felt comfortable for me to say. Then I would practice it.

The reason is that if I have only the general concepts in mind and I am generating the words on the fly, it uses up a fair amount of "CPU" for me to make sure the words come out sounding good. If I generate the words ahead of time and just recite them, I can focus on other things: what kind of reaction I'm getting, what kind of BL i'm giving off, etc..

You should only need a few (like 3 or 4) routines memorized. I would consider 20 or 30 minutes to be a ton of routines. Routines in general can only get you so far. The bulk of the game is played in Comfort, where your true self comes out.

[Scoundrel]

Start by getting good at the first five mins. That will buy you another 10 and so forth. The whole point is to have fun. It she hooks, you'll know. Is she doesn't, say "it's been fun" and leave. No rejection,.

[TheAwakened]

This is probably my biggest stumbling point as well. If I can get a girl to start talking, I can get her number, but if I have to carry the whole conversation, I usually eject pretty quickly. I'm getting a little better though.

[MagicBalls]

And not only that, you have to multithread, do various types of negs, DHV's introduce random things, be aware of every reaction, and calibrate your timing as to when to go to what stage.

If some of us have a habit of withdrawing in social situations, which I USED to do in the past, this is a major mental and emotional effort. You really have to be present in the moment and work. You're working. I can see how alcohol would be a bad thing in such a situation.

At the same time, perhaps you're so involved in the techniques, that perhaps you forget your own insecurities. When I'm conducting training at work, I'm in total control, keep the gab going, bust balls, keep everyone laughing, and flirt with the girls. A lot of the stuff I say I came up with myself, and everytime I say it it gets the same amount of laughter. I have a knack for keeping it fresh. So now I just have to transfer these skills and disposition to a new type of environment with new material. That's how I gotta look at it.

[Scoundrel]

You're making it harder than it really is. Just go, open sets and talk to people.

[MagicBalls]

You're making it harder than it really is. Just go, open sets and talk to people.

Yeah, I do that already, but I want to become a pro. I approach this no differently than mastering a musical instrument or a craft.

And the whole thing about multithreading... I actually notice that preachers and salespeople do this quite a bit. They'll say, blah blah blah, but before I get to blah blah blah, let me tell you a story. Or they'll say, "I want to talk to you about point 1. Now point 1 is really important because blah blah blah. But before I talk to you about point 1, let's talk about point 2."

I wonder why they do this. It seems to work though, it's almost like a way to tease you and keep you in suspense. So subconsciously you'll be waiting for point 1, point 3, and whatever else the speaker promised that in the end won't matter much. Plus, if your point 2 gets weak you can immediately switch to one of the other threads. So it keeps the conversation busy and full, plus, there's so many different threads you're leading, there won't me much room for other people to try to bring in a thread where you will be unfamiliar with the subject matter (such as work gossip, etc.)

[Scoundrel]

You make a good point about the way you approach PU as if you wanted to master playing a music. How does one go about learning to play, for example, guitar? Answer; YOU PLAY IT EVERY DAY! At first you screw up a lot, but that doesn't matter because after a year you are starting to sound pretty good.

What your talking about is public speaking. All public speakers use the same basic format (thank you Zig Ziggler). First, they tell you WHAT they are going to tell you. Then, they tell you HOW they will tell you. Next they tell you and then they sum up.

They do this because almost no one can pay attention to the speaker for an hour. You attention fades in and out. So, they tell you the same thing several times over the hour. Everything is said two or three times so the point is clear.

In PU, it happens MUCH faster. Open, Neg, DHV, and in 10 mins you're making out.

[Tribulus1000]

I forget who said this but its worth repeating...

The steps to being good at this are:
1. Follow one methodology -Juggler, MM,SS, etc.
2. Come up with similar routines, patterns, etc within the format of the methodology you are studying.
3. Look at other methodologies, see how things relate
4. Innovate and come up with your own system

But what do most guys do?

They go at it backwards.

The try to innovate, then look at many systems, then come up with stuff for one system and then they get frustrated because by now its a jumbled mess and so they decide to follow one system.

So the best advice I can give to anyone starting out is just to pick a dojo and go with that.
And follow it to the best of your ability.

[holyskeleton]

hehehe, i can just print out this thread and it's good for the year.

just be genuine in your interests and things will come.