Day 2 with group

[Guest]

I got 3 # closes this weekend. I met them all through social circle. First one was friday where she closed me. 2nd and 3rd were during the various things I do on the weekend. I have always read and tried to invite the girl along to do something with my friends. The only thing is, a lot of my friends are huge cock blocks and get really jealous when a girl is more into me than them

what's worse is they are pretty good looking and alpha. I've invited all three to hang out with me and them...but upon further thought, it seems like a bad idea. Like "bringing a sandwich to the buffet" or whatever. I've had to get stronger and deal with their shit successfully, but one of the girls looks very similar to my ex and I can't help but to hold her in higher regard

I know it sounds insecure, and I'm fine with bringing the other two to hang out. But, I guess another question would be, "should I even try to day 2 in a group?". I don't know if they will be comfy with me escalating in public etc

what's a good way to switch from group to 1 on 1 ?


please go to [URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5068[/URL] for my field report

[Guest]

If you set the date up from the beginning to be a group setting make sure it is a group setting. If you don't and switch it to a one on one this will look suspicious. I think the girl will look down on this.

I always like bringing new girls around my friends. Never once did I worry she was going to run off with one of them. Me a few years ago probably would have been worried and that just shows weakness. I have a feeling if your frame is strong and you don't show insecurities around your friends the girl will read this and think highly of you.

Now if your friends are stupid immature dicks then you might want to avoid them. They will make you look bad if they act in poor manner.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=playercool;33634]If you set the date up from the beginning to be a group setting make sure it is a group setting. If you don't and switch it to a one on one this will look suspicious. I think the girl will look down on this.

I always like bringing new girls around my friends. Never once did I worry she was going to run off with one of them. Me a few years ago probably would have been worried and that just shows weakness. I have a feeling if your frame is strong and you don't show insecurities around your friends the girl will read this and think highly of you.

Now if your friends are stupid immature dicks then you might want to avoid them. They will make you look bad if they act in poor manner.[/QUOTE]



I never felt as if any of my friends were going to steal any of the pussy that I brought around them from me. My thinking was that if she's going to be that easily distracted and that tempted as to ditch me for one of them then they can have her. She just did me a massive favor because, eventually, she would have done it to me anyway.

PC, your comment about having dickish friends is interesting. I've always held that one should have at least one real dickhead as a friend. Someone that YOU almost can't tolerate. The reason is because it gives you an opportunity to show her some things about your character. If he's a dick towards your girl, then you have the chance to tell him to stop (you're protecting her).

If she gets upset because he's such a dick, then you have an opportunity to show her your strength and loyalty:

Bull Run: "Listen baby, I've known him a long time and he wasn't always like this...I understand he's a prick at times, but he's been there for me through thick and thin. So, even though he's an ass, I remain loyal to him because he remained loyal to me. He's a part of my life and if you want to be in my life too, you're going to have to learn to co-exist. Trust me, I'm going to have the same conversation with him that we're having now."

I've used this tactic, unknowningly, for almost my entire dating career and, looking back on it, I've found that when the girl is introduced to the dickhead friend, that's when they start to fall for you. I know it sounds weird, but it really does provide you with an opportunity to show her your loyalty, your willingness to protect her, and your strength. She may hate your friend, but she'll respect the fuck out of you for holding to your guns AND still making her feel as if you're defending and protecting her WHILE remaining true and loyal to your friends.

[Guest]

I did switch from a group setting to 1on1 with hb7 redhead and she flaked on me with a shitty excuse. You guys are right. It is a little suspicious. Any recommendations on setting up a 1on1 for future day 2s? I only suggested the group thing because I had trouble manning up and asking directly

bull run, I like the statement you made about your friends. It is very powerful and I can totally see myself saying that. Also I agree with weeding her out if she is attracted to my friends

I know that women will pick me over my friends. I've games many while hanging out with them and without lowering their values. I briefly slipped into a space of scarcity. Now I am remembering all the times I've succeeded even when they cock block.

Thanks for reorienting me in the correct direction.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=sooners123;33637]Any recommendations on setting up a 1on1 for future day 2s?[/QUOTE]


You mean like the venue?

Well, I know how this is going to sound but the answer is that YOU ARE the day2. Day2s ARE NOT about VENUES, they are about YOU being with HER. Honestly, some of the best times in my life were when I was having a day2 with some chick and just went with the flow.

One time in particular jumps out at me. I met HB7 blonde on a Saturday night, bedded her that night, then we rolled out of bed and spent the entire day together doing all of those boring things that you would never, ever in a million years think is fun. I helped her return a TV. She helped me buy some underwear...I didn't need any but thought it was funny. We went to the grocery store then went home and cooked at her place. I didn't spend a SINGLE DIME on her. The relationship went nowhere because she wasn't really all that interesting and once her newness wore off I was done with her.

The interesting thing is about a year after the last time I spoke with her she sent me a text message out of the blue:

"Bull Run, I've had a TON of first dates since we last spoke but none of them compare to our day of domesticity."

It' s not the venue that the girl wants, it's YOUR TIME and ATTENTION. Most guys spend way too much time worrying about where to take a girl when all you really have to do is be with her. Sure, you can try to be thoughtful but that's so hard and self-defeating. The fact is that you don't KNOW this girl so how are you going to know what she would or would not dig? Just grab her by the hand and let her in your world, that's what she wants anyways. That's what most women want, YOU. That's what matters on a day2, not the venue.

I also never planned day2s because I never wanted to be tied into anything. I always wanted an out just in case I wasn't having a good time. So, I never made lengthy plans. I never picked anything extravagant (i.e. tickets to a sporting event or a concert, etc). I wanted the backdrop of the day2 to not get in the way of us enjoying each other. If you make the day2 too exciting, then you might get confused with what was so fun...the girl or the venue? And, she's going to have the same confusion.

[Guest]

Hmm...that's an interesting view of a day 2. I do agree that the focus is on US. I have tried to choose cool things to do because I want to upsell it so she's more likely to agree.

That being said, I meant how to ask her on a day 2. My previous methods were inviting her to tag along with some friends while doing something fun. I don't think that I build enough attraction or comfort sometimes to just say "hey you wanna come over hang out?" I feel like I need to give her a reason rather than "I like you, let's get together". But, I think that's due to my personal limitations and is something I'm in the process of conquering.

So far, my numbers are pretty solid (as in, they'll respond to text and initiate). But, the actual day 2s I get out of it are around 20%. In the past two weeks, I've only gotten 2/6 to agree and follow through. But, I assume if they're open to texting, maybe I'm just not being sexual enough. What do you guys think?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=sooners123;33639]Hmm...that's an interesting view of a day 2. I do agree that the focus is on US. I have tried to choose cool things to do because I want to upsell it so she's more likely to agree.

That being said, I meant how to ask her on a day 2. My previous methods were inviting her to tag along with some friends while doing something fun. I don't think that I build enough attraction or comfort sometimes to just say "hey you wanna come over hang out?" I feel like I need to give her a reason rather than "I like you, let's get together". But, I think that's due to my personal limitations and is something I'm in the process of conquering.

So far, my numbers are pretty solid (as in, they'll respond to text and initiate). But, the actual day 2s I get out of it are around 20%. In the past two weeks, I've only gotten 2/6 to agree and follow through. But, I assume if they're open to texting, maybe I'm just not being sexual enough. What do you guys think?[/QUOTE]

How you get her on the day2 may depend on your style.

For example, a guy I go out with here every now and then is more indirect in his approaches, so he seeds the day2 throughout the interaction, then number closes.

I'm much more direct in my approach, and I tell her that I want to see her again, which is more congruent with my initial approach. At this point I've also SOIed her, so she knows that I like X and Y about her.

In other words, I think it being congruent with you and your game is important. Although I reserve the right to change my opinion on that with time ;)

Try the "I like you, let's meet up." It may not be the best way to get the day2 for you, but if there is something you feel you can't do, then you should do it at least once.

As for why only 2/6s of the day2 work out: 1 - that isn't such a bad ratio 2 - if you want to learn why more aren't coming out, then it's probably a good idea to post a much more detailed interaction. Not being sexual enough isn't necessarily a deal breaker. I suspect she may be confused as to why you want to see her.

Good luck man.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Lazarus;33640]As for why only 2/6s of the day2 work out: 1 - that isn't such a bad ratio 2 - if you want to learn why more aren't coming out, then it's probably a good idea to post a much more detailed interaction. Not being sexual enough isn't necessarily a deal breaker. I suspect she may be confused as to why you want to see her.[/QUOTE]



Yeah, I agree with you here. If you invite a girl to tag along with you and your friends, then she can interpret that as you wanting her to be with you in a romantic sense OR just as a friend.

I would suggest that you leave what you're going to do ambiguous. Say something like: "I'm going to take you out and show you a good time" or "You and I are totally going to hang out." It really is that simple. If you make it clear that the day2 is just you and her, then you don't have to qualify why you want her to be there with you. In my opinion, saying, "I like you, let's hang out" is a little weak and, quite frankly, boring. Be a little more creative. You could say: "you're awesome...we're going to hang out, but the only time I can is when I organize my sock drawer. I know you'd be down to shuffle through my undies...I promise most of them are clean" or "I'm going to take you to dinner, and by dinner I mean McDonald's...I'll even let you get 4 items from the dollar menu."

Here's what I think could be a problem with your approach. It may very well be that you're being way too professional about the whole thing. Understand, that the worst thing you can be with a woman is BORING. It's better to be fun and exciting and interesting and to take risks than it is to play it safe. Now, this doesn't mean you have to show her your cards. Just be a little bit more fun with her. Tell her: "I don't think my mom will approve of my relationship with you, so we're going to have to run off and elope...we can honeymoon at The Super 8 in McKinney...you know, the one with the magic fingers beds."

Have fun with it. It's supposed to be fun. First and foremost. I would guess that you're putting way too much pressure on yourself which is resulting in you being too mechanical when you ask them for a day2. Loosen up a little bit. Maybe you are already doing that, but I don't see that in your post at all.

The other thing that you need to think about is how much comfort you've built with this girl. In my opinion, the BIGGEST mistake guys make in PU is that they're too quick close. Take your time. Let her get comfortable with you and your personality. Remember that number closes are virtually meaningless. Girls give their numbers out to guys ALL THE TIME. Seriously, it means nothing.

I learned this dynamic and began to focus more on building comfort and creating rapport and found that although my number closes fell, the quality of those numbers improved dramatically. I can honestly say I went from pulling a day2 1 out of every 4 NCs to pulling a day2 virtually 100% of the time. And, many times I SNL'd a chick before I ever number closed her. It's not linear, it doesn't go number close, kiss close, fuck close. Keep that in mind.

The way I see it, you can easily get 2 - 3 high quality number closes (by that I mean they don't flake and they're IN to you) a night if you focus on comfort. Compare that to getting 6 - 7 number closes in a night and only 1 or 2 of them panning out.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;33642]Yeah, I agree with you here. If you invite a girl to tag along with you and your friends, then she can interpret that as you wanting her to be with you in a romantic sense OR just as a friend.

I would suggest that you leave what you're going to do ambiguous. Say something like: "I'm going to take you out and show you a good time" or "You and I are totally going to hang out." It really is that simple. If you make it clear that the day2 is just you and her, then you don't have to qualify why you want her to be there with you. In my opinion, saying, "I like you, let's hang out" is a little weak and, quite frankly, boring. Be a little more creative. You could say: "you're awesome...we're going to hang out, but the only time I can is when I organize my sock drawer. I know you'd be down to shuffle through my undies...I promise most of them are clean" or "I'm going to take you to dinner, and by dinner I mean McDonald's...I'll even let you get 4 items from the dollar menu."

Here's what I think could be a problem with your approach. It may very well be that you're being way too professional about the whole thing. Understand, that the worst thing you can be with a woman is BORING. It's better to be fun and exciting and interesting and to take risks than it is to play it safe. Now, this doesn't mean you have to show her your cards. Just be a little bit more fun with her. Tell her: "I don't think my mom will approve of my relationship with you, so we're going to have to run off and elope...we can honeymoon at The Super 8 in McKinney...you know, the one with the magic fingers beds."

Have fun with it. It's supposed to be fun. First and foremost. I would guess that you're putting way too much pressure on yourself which is resulting in you being too mechanical when you ask them for a day2. Loosen up a little bit. Maybe you are already doing that, but I don't see that in your post at all.

The other thing that you need to think about is how much comfort you've built with this girl. In my opinion, the BIGGEST mistake guys make in PU is that they're too quick close. Take your time. Let her get comfortable with you and your personality. Remember that number closes are virtually meaningless. Girls give their numbers out to guys ALL THE TIME. Seriously, it means nothing.

I learned this dynamic and began to focus more on building comfort and creating rapport and found that although my number closes fell, the quality of those numbers improved dramatically. I can honestly say I went from pulling a day2 1 out of every 4 NCs to pulling a day2 virtually 100% of the time. And, many times I SNL'd a chick before I ever number closed her. It's not linear, it doesn't go number close, kiss close, fuck close. Keep that in mind.

The way I see it, you can easily get 2 - 3 high quality number closes (by that I mean they don't flake and they're IN to you) a night if you focus on comfort. Compare that to getting 6 - 7 number closes in a night and only 1 or 2 of them panning out.[/QUOTE]

There are lots of SOLID points made in this post. I totally agree that a lot of guys in the community are too quick to try to close. Sure, she gives you her number...but you need to remember that this is the south...and women here are a lot nicer and care about a stranger's feelings (at least most.) I spend a lot of time conveying the different intricacies of my personality and gauging how she reacts to them before I even think about closing.

This past Saturday, I went to Sherlocks and met Vector, Prodigy, and another guy who was community, but I don't know his board name. Ten minutes in the venue I get us in a 'bachelorette' party. I put that in quotes because at the end of the night, they admitted that it was a fake bachelorette party...it was actually just their way of celebrating one girl's birthday and her recent break up with a douche. Anyhoo...

The entire night revolved around me cold reading different guys in the venue, telling them how to flirt with them, and how to get free drinks out of them. Some of the time I would even game the guys and bring them over to the girls and get us ALL drinks out of them. They learned my personality, my intelligence, and my personability. At the end of the night they realized that they didn't even ask me my name...but I already had two of their numbers and one asking to add me on facebook.

The point of that whole schpeel was that you need to focus less on the prize and more on the journey to it. I'd rather find out then and there if she's worth investing time in to than doing it later via text or whatever. If you get her to invest more of herself when interacting with you, setting up a day 2 will be no problem.

As for HOW to set up a day 2, I always make it ambiguous (as many have said in this post.) I wait until she's in my car (or a few hours before if she's meeting me somewhere) before divulging my plans. My plans are always simple. I developed a board game that allows us to find out about each other and the outcome of the game picks what we do next. I typically make the day 2 a happy hour meet up, and get a table away from the crowd. It might sound gay, and I thought it would be when I came up with it, but it comes off as fun and goofy to my dates...which is very congruent with my personality. Don't worry so much about what you do...the game I made up has us doing crap like going to a random bar by a university on a random night and seeing whatever random ass band is playing (I'm big in to music, so that's big for me), going to a park and playing laser tag (I've done this since high school and it always ends with me chasing, catching, and kissing), causing trouble at Target or Walmart, people watching at a known 30k millionaire or cougar hang out, etc.

Oh, another thing I'd like to throw in is something I learned from Bull Run...avoid putting things between the two of you. By this, I mean tables. I never sit across from a girl at dinner or happy hour...always next to. It makes it seem less like an interview, and more laid back. Plus, it's easier to get your kino going...reaching across a table is try-hard and creepy.

This post is all over the fucking place, but I haven't had my Adderall in 3 days and I'm basically a 27 year old version of that Mike Meyers skit where he was leashed to a jungle gym...just overlook my lack of flow today.

[Guest]

I really like where this thread has gone.

You have some very experienced guys dishing out their methods here Sooner. One thing you should realize is they are all different. The differences are what is congruent with each persons personality. So keep that in mind when you are figuring out who you are and what you think is right or wrong on a date.

For example I would never sit next to the girl. Even if I was dating a girl I would sit across from her. I just like it that way as I view sitting next to the girl as Highschoolish. Neither is right or wrong it is just our different views. In this reference I am talking about at dinner.

I would really like to watch one of Smirks dates take place. Can you somehow get a film crew to secretly follow you or something? A board game? Where do you pull that out at? Laser tag? Hahha you just have the set up on hand? That is awesome.

Sooner your ratio of 2/6 IMO is pretty decent.

As far as setting up a Day2 I was always pretty confident and direct in my approach. I would chat/flirt via text and at some point just let her know I was taking her out(would never make it sexual)(Unless I had already fucked her)(And then nothing applies as you have already conquered her). 90% of the time this was over text(Most confusing sentence ever). On occasion, depending on the girl, I would call and ask her. Some girls although very rare these days are still old fashioned and appreciate the call. These girl I would view as girlfriend material and thus acted accordingly.

As far as venues I would mainly try for either a bar, or my house. In the future though I am going to see about going and shooting guns. I think that would be a kickass venue. Also don't rule out something very simple and short like meeting up for coffee or hot chocolate at starbucks. This can be like a 1 hour or less meet up and then part ways or venue change if you have the game. I would set this up during the initial meet up with the girl. I only use this venue in the winter though and I tell the girl she is going to buy me a cup of hot chocolate. It has a high success ratio as the girl has never heard it before. If she complies reward her for following through and footing the bill. If you are like me it will feel weird having her pay. I reward her by taking her out for drinks or dinner at a later point in time.