Best way to get good?

[Guest]

What is the best way to get good at this skillset? I have noticed there are a few people in the community (not necessarily the dallas area, but the whole community in general, like mASF and such) that are okay, but not great at this, they kinda just skate by. Especially mASF, it seemes to be filled with kjs. Its got to be more than practice right? Perfect practice makes perfect, but just any practice won't cut it. I don't know, I just seem to be moving slower than I hoped. I don't know if its my attitude (self limiting beliefs?), not practicing enough, not reading enough or what. The other day I went total afc on this girl, it was retarded (I think thats an inner game issue). I'm not trying to be a pick up guru or the best pua ever, I just want to be one of the better ones. Not getting half assed girls you kinda like, but keeping high quality ones in your life, weather it be friends only or not. Maybe I'm just not patient enough, I have only been a part of this for about two months. But any advice would be great on how to expediate the progress. I'm just not looking to be just average.

[Guest]

1 Every time you come back from going out, ask yourself what you would like to specifically improve and work on that for the next couple times. Work on one thing at a time.

2 don't listen to half the advice you hear, learn for yourself and learn to spot good advice from bullshit.

3 don't be afraid to go hogging every now and then, any experience will make you better in the long run.

4 being frustrated is not an excuse to quit.

5 get your inner game sorted out which means have fun whenever you go out and don't be afraid to be sexual with girls... you've heard it before but the fact is that girls love sex and they want you as much as you want them if not more.

THe fact that you're willing to ask this question makes you a cool guy in my mind, and it also means you're on the right path.

[Guest]

6 everything is a matter of degree. develop a sense of how much you can get away with and how much is just socially inappropriate. humor is a BIG asset in the field.

[Guest]

Just/us...

I know you think I'm a douche. That's fine, I don't really care. But, I've told you this before, and I'm going to say it again.

The only way to get good is to say fuck it. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck the Community. Fuck techinques. Fuck advice. And, go out ON YOUR OWN, and figure out who you are and what YOU'RE about. The only way to get good is to get in touch with the only person that will ALWAYS be there for you...that person is YOU.

This is hard to do when you are constantly surrounded by guys that have been doing this for a while. With all our wisdom comes a certain amout of jadeness, a certain amout of cynicism.

[Guest]

[quote1230248404=Bull Run]

I know you think I'm a douche. That's fine, I don't really care.
[/quote1230248404]

You're not they typical kind of douche, pumpkin tits! <3

My answer will be determination, patience, and balls. Everything will come in time if you just stick to it.

[Guest]

push the envelope. if its comfortable its wrong. BR said it best, Fuck it!

p.s. hoggin is for pussies

[Guest]

well, i accidentally hit backspace and lost a lot of my original post, so this is now a shortened version

If you are only 2 months into the game, you need to be patient. It's going to take some time. You can't learn anything in 2 months and be "good"... Think if you picked up a guitar, a static inanimate object, you would not be good when it's just you vs. the guitar. Much less the game, when you mix in venues, booze, AMOGs, and the biggest variable of all...a girl!

Looking back on what helped me, a couple things jump out that made huge leaps in my game.

1) Inner game - immediate things to try
a) Hit the gym
Nothing helps you walk a little more confidently, walk a little taller, and feeling GOOD about yourself, then losing a few pounds, or improving your chest, shoulders, etc. This projects to the world as you move through it. Some want to say you don't need to do this... good for them, you don't necessarily. If you can find some other way to compensate, go for it, but this is an immediate, tangible benefit. Unless you take it to an extreme, this is almost ALWAYS a benefit.
b) Change up your style, especially if you previous existence was AFC. Try something. Playercool mentioned how he started to spike his hair. I shaved my head. Do something. Get some stylish new shirts, jeans and shoes. Don't do the same thing and expect different results. Do something that gets you positive results that translates to inner confidence.

2) Set realistic goals
a) You don't go from AFC to SNLing SHB10's. I'm a believer in momentum. Think how common it is for guys when they have a woman(even AFCs sometimes), to have all these other options. The smell that, because you project non-neediness, and outcome independence. Work on a HB target that is within your range to get going. If you are an AFC, work on those HB7s or 8s. Be able to routinely pull them, to get confidence, project non-neediness before moving up the scale. If you have several HB7-8s on the line, and you game a HB9 it's not as big a deal. The goal of that exercise is to be able to internalize the outcome independence/non-neediness vibe into who you are to be able to game anyone, anytime.

3) Learn to recognize and respond to shit tests
a) This is big IMO. You can DAFS at mASF archives on responding and recognizing shit tests. Once you've read, this is where practice is essential to start to be able to recognize and respond appropriately to these in the field. You can get huuuge BT spikes by responding well to shit tests. You can get these in the field, during text game between initial meets and Day2s, during dates, and in LTRs. I've posted some FRs before on text game shit test busting. Just yesterday my new(what i suspect and hope will be LTR i'm in) laid one on me. She's showering at my place and says.... "Can i leave my shampoo here under your sink....so other girls looking will know that a girl is here?"(very coyly) I looked her in the face and said " Yea you can leave them there, so when another girl needs shampoo, i can tell her where to look."..(with a sly smirk). You should have seen her face light up. Priceless. They don't end after the initial lay. This is a critical skill. This is why you also focus on all around general alpha/leader skill building.

edit: came back to add: I've seen the biggest jump in my game after i got this area under control. I've been with girls that i know 100% i would not have ever landed if it were NOT for getting this aspect down....and diffused many shit tests. I think part of this may go to your natural wittiness but there still is an aspect that can be learned, most importantly, DETECTING that it's a shit test. Even if you can't come back with the split second witty response, NOT coming back with the AFC response is important.

4) Outcome Independence
It almost deserves another call out from #2. There's nothing better than knowing you have other options. Believing you are in control of your own destiny is powerful. At the end of the night, it doesn't matter one bit, there are others out there.

[Guest]

1 study
2 practice
3 review
4 refine
5 go back to 1
that's it
If you want percentages
study 20%
practice 50%
review 10%
refine 20%

Think of it like paintball, the best way to get good is to play, Camo, gun and study of tactics help but if you don't play you will never get better.

[Guest]

[quote1230262119=TopDog]


If you are only 2 months into the game, you need to be patient. It's going to take some time. You can't learn anything in 2 months and be "good"... Think if you picked up a guitar, a static inanimate object, you would not be good when it's just you vs. the guitar. Much less the game, when you mix in venues, booze, AMOGs, and the biggest variable of all...a girl!

[/quote1230262119]

Well, I don't plan on being a pro in 2 months, I just want to make sure I am on the right track.

[Guest]

Touche. I like the way you think.

Here's how I see it:
First, be careful with that word 'better' here, because I think its pretty subjective within this context.
IMO, the 'better' guys here are the ones who can look back and see the progress they have made and feel good about themselves as a result of that. Also remember that each person's progress begins where they started with regard to skill when they joined....some have an existing advantage over others which just means that the 'others' must do more work to catch up.
Such is life.

Wording it differently, however, there are several guys here who pull more frequently than I do though, and of the ones I know about, they've all been in the community and been dedicated to it much longer than I have.

However, I can tell you for certain that I've gotten better in so many aspects since joining....but also worse in some areas.
I can recall thinking exactly what you typed in this post (and still do at times), so I'll share some details of my own progress thus far.....or, in some cases, lackthereof:

Joined the community around late June.
(by 'joined', I mean actually started coming out and trying stuff/getting to know people)

Several # and kiss closes later, I pulled my first fclose in early Sept...and she was maybe a 6 (possibly a '7' by my standards at the time....more on this standards thing in a sec).

By early-mid October I'd say I hit my peak (thus far....hopefully not forever) with regard to number/quality ratio in my time here (only like 6 months or so). I had the most girls that I've ever had at any one time (3) on 'retainer' and each of them was pretty decent looking...all 8s by what I would consider my 'new standards'.
I got a little too cocky about this and wound up blowing it with one of them only a few days after closing her.

Then, around early Nov, school started sucking the life out of me and I wasn't able to focus much on my game (plus the effect of stress on my inner game was pretty huge)....so things started to dip. I know that school was probably my biggest inhibitor at the time, but I was also starting to become accustomed to not lowering my standards so much anymore, so those two things together probably pushed me into a bit of a downward spiral with regard to number of girls I was following through with.

Eventually the other 2 girls faded off (one went into 'i want a relationship or were done' land, and I'm not really sure what happened with the other...hmm); but as the 2 where on their way out, I got lucky (yes, I do consider it lucky timing) and met another girl.

After that, things where pretty sparse here and there....partly because of school and work stressing me out, but at the same time I got used to having these fine broads, and I stopped even approaching the less-than-sexy ones.
I know someone will probably have the urge to chime in and say this is ok.....but honestly I'm still not so sure that's necessarily a good thing though. The past few weeks I've started to wonder if this is inhibiting my progression by limiting my 'practice'.

Fast forward to now....where I have a few (social circle) prospects running over text, but nothing nearly as solid like before.

Anyway, bragging and self-promotion are my biggest complaints about "the community".....so if any of this comes off as such, let me assure you that my intent here is only to give you an idea of what my time here has been like. Though a brief summary, maybe you can learn from the ups/downs I mentioned about my own progress.

So, getting back on track here, my main point is that I have always progressed the most when I had the attitude that I wasn't good enough....and needed to get better; So I do think you're on the right track here....but don't assume that means you can just sit back and enjoy the ride, you've still got to work for it.

In what limited, few times I've gone out with you, I'd say you definitely seem to be moving forward....consider if you would do/say half the things you do now back before you joined?

Aggravation and the will to do better that you seem to have are what will pull you forward.
I say listen to anyone's advice, but only apply the stuff that makes sense to you. At the same time though, don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and don't be afraid to admit when you've done something wrong in doing so.