Says she doesn’t want to be EXCLUSIVE, but I don’t want to lose her.

[Guest]

So this is the deal folk. I went out with this girl I work with one night to a bar and we had a great time. She even went so far as to buy my drinks and buy me a pack of smokes at the bar when I told here we needed to stop and get money as she was driving us there. I had built C and A during the few shifts we worked together, so I figured this was the fruits of my labor. She drops me off at home and before I get out, she looks away, and then as she looks back I just grab her face and kiss her. We kissed for a good ten to fifteen minutes in her car and leave on a, “I’ll talk to you later,” from her and I just smiled. I did tell her I’ve wanted to do that for a while though.

A week passes and we go to a concert together where we kind of loosen up at the bar before hand telling jokes and stories about each others lives, real rapport building I thought. We get into the show and its standing room so, she stands in front of me and REALLY backs up against me. So one song in I’m like F#%& it and I just grab her from behind and we make out the whole concrete with smoke breaks and actually watching the show in between. We make out for another good thirty minutes waiting for traffic to clear to leave, the whole ride home, which was close to two hours, we are holding each others hands in the care, both squeezing hard and lightly. I get back to her place and tell her I want to stay and we end up having the best sexy I’ve probably ever had in my life. She says she hasn’t had sex that good in a long time and, “We must have really good chemistry.” Two days later we hang out to watch a movie and don’t even get ten minutes into it before we are pawing each other and back in the bedroom, which she did suggest because we were on her couch. We have great sex again all night and she tells me through just talking in bed that she isn’t looking for anything exclusive right now (she is only 22 and in college). She said she didn’t want to do anything to make me resent her, because she really likes me, and I told her not to worry, I would walk the minute I started resenting her. We got all that out of the way and had sex again, then sat up and had great conversations about our lives and ourselves and beliefs and things. Then I had to leave in the morning to go hang out with a buddy and she had to go to work.

This girl is young and a solid 8 with a fun personality that makes her pretty close to a 10 in my eyes, plus she is my type, brunette with big brown eyes. I really like her but it’s been two weeks since we have seen each other outside of work. Things have come up, family, she has been sick, I have been out of town, but I really don’t want to lose this girl as a relationship. I can even see her as being something exclusive once we have both got a little farther in school (we go to the same college too, but no classes). I am dating someone else who I like but don’t see much of a future with, as we as just starting to see some else I met by work who has potential, plus there is another girl I went out with a few times who is playing super hard to get but I’m not worried about, it’s sort of fun and the chase is enjoyable. So I am not putting all my efforts into this one girl, but she is my favorite of the four, right now. Of course if the hard to get one ever wanted something exclusive I would drop the rest for her, but that’s a whole other story.

What do I need to do with Miss Non-exclusivity here? Build more C, A, or S (I think I handled the seduction aspect pretty well). Do I back away? I ask her to do stuff every few days but there’s always something going on it seems, plus she has been sick. I don’t want to lose what my wing said was, “A gold mine!” I need help in growing this non-exclusive relationship and then eventually turning it into something exclusive even. And I guess I want her to be the one who likes me more in this, not the other way around, I hate liking the persons I’m with more than they like me. It’s not an ego thing for me, I just hate wanting someone that much unless they are going to be the One.

Any and all help is appreciated, sorry for the long windedness of this post. I haven’t posted anything in a long time and this is my first REAL hot streak, ever and I don’t plan on stopping with four girls, but I don’t want to lose this one if I don’t have to, plus we do work together.
Thanks,
Merco

[Guest]

You need to turn the tide. Make her realize you don't have any interest in a relationship.

Hopefully this will make her think to herself. Wait a minute. Why wouldn't this guy want to have a LTR with me. It might very well make her change her view and flip to wanting something more with you.

First order of business would to bring another girl around her. I think that would do wonders.

[Guest]

This whole situation sounds very familiar. Man if you want a ltr with her than make that clear. If you're wanting to keep her on you're list for ...in the future ltr then it's a whole different ballgame. Sounds like you both connect well, so staying friends shouldnt be difficult in the comfort and rapport respect. You have slept together though so now you have to be careful about showing jealousy if she starts dating someone else. I did this same thing with two girls I worked with in college. They were best friends I actually slept with both of them and everything was still fine afterwards. We worked together and hung out together outside work as well which they accepted. It's going to be a fine line though to walk between lover and ljbf category especially if you have a lot of college left. I'd say to you to just befriend her and keep her in that category for now. College is one of the hardest places to start a ltr committed relationship because of the environment you're both in and the uncertainty of what lies ahead after graduation. If you befriend her the sex may or may not stop. Sounds like she'll probably still be cool with it until one of you gets into another relationship.

[Guest]

you can't go to her, she has to come to you. Make her realize that if she doesn't lock you in, you'll move on to something better...because she is a whore just like all the others. Sure, you don't believe it now, but she's a dirty slut.

Its college man, you don't want this shit right now.

Thank us later.

[Guest]

cheese man has it right, but if it is a ltr you seek, then playercool is right. jealousy plot will reel this chick in.

[Guest]

[quote1212019094=Captain Caveman]
cheese man has it right, but if it is a ltr you seek, then playercool is right. jealousy plot will reel this chick in.
[/quote1212019094]

it sucks though because its too late and he's already fucked this up.

[Guest]

Maybey, but its amazing the way a bitch will 180 when she see's she is moments from replacement. Also I think a slight case of oneitis mixed with my cake and eat it too, is goin on here. Give us a piece of tail and we want two!

[Guest]

Bring another girl around, but do it right. Be seen somewhere with her, but make sure you don't pull some douche bag maneuver or come across as you are [i]trying [/i]to get her jealous or that will come across very AFC. play it cool and it will work wonders as P.C. said.

If she tries to set something up, have 'other plans' but suggest an alternate night. Don't keep asking her out, miss that 'normal' call you might make that she would have been expecting, don't reply to one of her texts... etc. Get in her head alittle bit.

and whatever you do, don't go AFC and say you want an exclusive relationship with her.

[Guest]

Jealousy might make her feel a certain way temporarily or get her to say she'll be exclusive or long-term with you, but if it's not coming from what she really wants, it's not going to be solid. Let her have it and she will stick around because the situation doesn't get complicated with her wondering whether a "boyfriend" is wondering what she's doing or who she's hanging out with. Over time she might become a close friend as well as someone you have sex with.

If you have trouble being with her non-exclusively, be upfront and tell her what you are feeling and that you are going to not hang out with her as much, even though you want to. Not to pressure her but to inform her. She will respect you for it and you can still be friends months down the line.

If you pressure her into saying she'll be exclusive, then I would expect it to be relatively short-lived (and not really exclusive anyway) and then in a few months hanging out together will be awkward for both of you.

[Guest]

Put your best "bad boy" personna, demonstrate you got some value by bringing some of your other girls around and just run with it. Women go crazy and work harder for your affection when you all of the sudden take it away from them.
To be successful, the ho has to work for you. NOT you working for the ho!

I'm not so sure telling her you want to be exclusive will do any thing for you. She's already stated she's not interested in exclusiveness, you aren't going to change how she feels by just telling her what you want.

She wants to have sex and a good time. Keep showing her you are the ticket to great sex and fun times and that you are a rock solid person. This is the only way you'll convince her. Keep building that foundation. The more positive & fun experiences you have together the harder it will for her to walk away from. Perhaps after this she'll reconsider. The key to women is through their emotions. Be the one who helps her feel those.