Talking To Women About The Community

[Vector]

Do any of you have experiences, positive or negative, about telling women about your involvement in the community? And I mean women that you've had sex with.

How much detail? Do they know you actively game? And try to sleep with as many hot women as possible? Do they know of DallasPUA?

The first woman I closed after finding the community, I did talk about the game somewhat. Nothing too detailed, and basically I framed it as how to be more attractive and tips and tricks to seduce women. She actually helped me and gave me advice. She was not at all jealous and didn't want me as a BF, she just wanted me for sex.

For example, she told me if you ask a woman out on a Tuesday date and she declines, do NOT turn around and ask her if she's free Wednesday. Instead, just say okay, perhaps another time and wait before asking her out again. (Perhaps obvious, but I still had no idea what I was doing.)

Recently a girl I've been seeing discovered DallasPUA and discovered my blog. I basically told her everything about my activities and what it means to me. I've never revealed so much about the community to a girl. On the one hand it feels great because I can share with her this world that I find really fascinating. But on the other hand it's a little bit scary, because I'm worried she's going to find it manipulative and gross.

[waijai]

I talk to my girlfriend about it. She enjoys it and accepts it. She wants to help others that are just starting out with increasing their skill.

[Finch]

The first time I ever went sarging I was with another guy from the community and ended up getting a girls number. The next night I spent the night at her place and we stayed up all night talking. She wanted to know about the guy I was with because she said he didn't seem like someone I would hang out with. So I told her.

I really don't like to lie to girls, partly because I'm not very good at it and partly because I want them to actually like me for me, not some character I made up. So I told her how I felt romantically frustrated and wanted more control over my love life, how I stumbled across The Game and that it motivated me to put myself out there and try to become a better person and be more social. I didn't want to spell it all out, just give her a general idea so I told her I met the guy online and we had the same problem. I also told her that the only reason I was at the bookstore that day was to pick up girls and that the only reason I talked to her was because I wanted to pick her up and that normally I never would have done such a thing.

She took it really well. In fact I think it made me look even better. To her I was just a sweet, shy guy trying to better myself. And as a result it led us together, so how could it be a bad thing?

My advice, if you are worried about girls finding out about you, is to write all your field reports and blog entries as if the woman of your dreams will be reading them. Don't let it be about tricking girls into sleeping with you but rather you trying to perfect yourself. Show that there is a point to what you are doing more than just getting laid. I think most women would respect you for that.

Think of it this way. We are all after the same thing. The only difference is this: The natural is like a rich guy who was born into his money. The PUA is like a rich guy who busted ass and earned his money. Who would you rather be with? As long as you meet relationship expectations you should be ok. Just remember that anything can be looked at from multiple perspectives. It's easy to get down on yourself sometimes because what we do is misunderstood. Just present it in a possitive light. There are so many things that make us better than naturals. Better not just for ourselves but for them as well. Stress those points. Show the other side of it. Let us know how it turns out.

[Afterlife]

The only difference is this: The natural is like a rich guy who was born into his money. The PUA is like a rich guy who busted ass and earned his money. Who would you rather be with?

Awsome quote!

[swing]

Vector,

You already know my situation, but for those of you that have not had a chance to hang with me yet....

I have been married for about 5 years now and have been with my wife for about 12 years. She knows everything about what I am up to in this endeavour to better myself socially. I agree with Finch, in that I have always taken an honest approach with women. I was completely up front with my wife when we got together and told her that I was not a one-woman man and I shared with her my thoughts on monogamy and how I thought it was an unrealistic expectation. Even when I was dating in college, I let the girls that I was seeng know that they would not be the only ones that I would be sharing my life/bed with. It was just something that I put out there and they gladly accepted it and were happy to know that I would not be sneaking around cheating on them behind their backs. In fact, many of my girlfriends in college became good friends and we would all hang out together. I guess I was destined to get into the swinger's lifestyle even before I knew what it was.

As for women finding this site or others and misinterpreting our intentions...that is gonna happen. Especially when some of the younger players get on these boards and just talk about scoring pussy. The women probably will not understand that most of the guys on these sites and in the PUA community are just trying to better themselves and to become more socially adept in order to find a suitable mate.

I think it was Mystery that talked about the fact that women use implants, push-up bras, make-up, fake hair, fake nails, fake eye-lashes, hair dye, Liposuction, etc to increase their "Replication Value" in order to attract more men and higher value men. There is no difference between that type of "Self Improvement" and what we are doing here in the PUA community. We are just trying to increase our value by concentrating on improving the types of things that women respond to, much in the same way that they are increasing their value in the things that men respond to. If anyone should be ashamed of the things that they do to attract mates it should be women. They literally mutilate their bodies and constantly fake us out with false body parts in order to trick us into being attracted to them. Remind me to tell you the story of the D Cup girl that ended up being more flat chested than me when she got undressed. Talk about False Advertising!

Swing
Keepin' It Real!

[Afterlife]

Vector,

You already know my situation, but for those of you that have not had a chance to hang with me yet....

I have been married for about 5 years now and have been with my wife for about 12 years. She knows everything about what I am up to in this endeavour to better myself socially. I agree with Finch, in that I have always taken an honest approach with women. I was completely up front with my wife when we got together and told her that I was not a one-woman man and I shared with her my thoughts on monogamy and how I thought it was an unrealistic expectation. Even when I was dating in college, I let the girls that I was seeng know that they would not be the only ones that I would be sharing my life/bed with. It was just something that I put out there and they gladly accepted it and were happy to know that I would not be sneaking around cheating on them behind their backs. In fact, many of my girlfriends in college became good friends and we would all hang out together. I guess I was destined to get into the swinger's lifestyle even before I knew what it was.

Thats amazing, you got the best out of a situation a lot of us wish to have to worry about! Had had some of the multi girl thing b4 and only told some of them there were others and didn't tell the others, bad mistake if you can imagine. Im happy for you.

As for women finding this site or others and misinterpreting our intentions...that is gonna happen. Especially when some of the younger players get on these boards and just talk about scoring pussy. The women probably will not understand that most of the guys on these sites and in the PUA community are just trying to better themselves and to become more socially adept in order to find a suitable mate.

I think it was Mystery that talked about the fact that women use implants, push-up bras, make-up, fake hair, fake nails, fake eye-lashes, hair dye, Liposuction, etc to increase their "Replication Value" in order to attract more men and higher value men. There is no difference between that type of "Self Improvement" and what we are doing here in the PUA community. We are just trying to increase our value by concentrating on improving the types of things that women respond to, much in the same way that they are increasing their value in the things that men respond to. If anyone should be ashamed of the things that they do to attract mates it should be women. They literally mutilate their bodies and constantly fake us out with false body parts in order to trick us into being attracted to them. Remind me to tell you the story of the D Cup girl that ended up being more flat chested than me when she got undressed. Talk about False Advertising!

Swing
Keepin' It Real!

That a great way to but it, have you every thought of being a PU lobbiest lol

[Finch]

The more I think about it, it seems like the main reason people are complaining about Mystery's VH1 show is not because they are afraid that more people will be learning the game, using the same canned material, and thus increasing competition. No, I think the real reason is because to a certain degree people are ashamed of what they are doing. Because there is this taboo on PU people want to keep it a secret and not let anyone know whats going on, especially women. This is just dumb. I say we should embrace what we are doing wholeheartedly. If the women we are with want to know, let them. Who cares? Be proud of what you are doing. Like Swing said, women do the same thing by putting on makeup, fixing their hair, and stuffing their bras. Do you think less of them for doing this? I don't. In fact it's just the opposite. Not everyone is born with a perfect body or smooth moves. If we want to compete it's up to us to put in the effort. This is not something to be ashamed of. It's admirable.

[AFC AdamLondon]

In my experience.

Girls love the game. I've told hundreds and they are all perfectly cool with it.

Come on they read about this stuff in magazines all the time. Relationships, sex, multiple orgasms, they love it more than us!

The problem is literaly a question of whether you are ashamed of it or not.

If you aren't comfortable with it, she'll be able to spot it a mile off.

I always say, if you aren't comfortable with yourself...then why should she ba comfortable with you?

Wow I'm posting alot today...

AFC AdamLondon

[TheRussian]

In my experience they have trouble accepting it at first, but after a few hours, or days, depending on the woman, they become much more comfortable with it and enjoy the fact that you are unique in the sense that you understand women better than the average man.

I recommend that you do not tell her about it for the first few months, because if you tell her too early, she will think that everything you do is a "trick", personal experience.

Let say that I would tell a girl "I enjoy your personality, and love spending time with you", she would often times say "is this another one of your PUA tricks, or are you for real". I am not sure if this is necessarily good or bad, but I was not happy with this kind of question.