About a dude I met.

[dubya]

I went to What’s On Tap, Saturday. I had just gotten off work at my second job. I was tired and didn’t want to go anywhere but I made myself anyway. It’s like a new rule for my life; if I don’t already have plans I have to go out. I’ve even given myself a time limit. I have to spend at least thirty minutes in the bar before I leave. This is a complete 180 from how I used to be. I never went to bars before. On my 21st birthday I didn’t go out and get plastered like most people do. I don’t actually remember what I did.

Each night has been a little different. The first couple nights nothing happened. Night before last I interjected myself into a conversation between another guy and the bartender. Normally I would consider that impolite of me but they didn’t seem to think anything of it. They acted like it was normal. I think this is due to the nature of the environment.

But I’ve digressed a little.

Saturday. The place was pack. I walked in and stood near the bar waiting for the bartenders attention. There is a mixed three set next to me two guys and a girl. As I’m standing there I hear the girl talking. Her voice is raised loud enough for the whole bar.

“Go ahead, stick it in there. I promise you it will fit.”

WTF? I look over and she’s holding her ear lobe. She’s talking to one of the guys. The other guy is laughing. She keeps talking.

“Go ahead. Put it in. Look I’ll take my earring out. No, I’ll leave it in, it’ll still fit. Go ahead put it in. It’ll fit I promise you.”

She glanced at me a couple times. By this time I’m laughing because I can’t believe what she is telling this guy. The other dude notices me gets up and comes and stands beside me.

He says, “Dude I want to see what this looks like from out here. From your perspective instead of in the middle of it.”

I tell him I think it’s fucking hilarious. He points to them and tells me the guy is his roommate and the girl is his girlfriend. He then tells me he’s from Dallas.
I asked if he’d ever been to Sherlock’s. He tells his GF I’ve been to Sherlock’s. His roommate says something to him.

He says “Fuck you dude. I’m talking to my new friend.” Then he asked my name. His GF stands up, shakes my hand and introduces herself. The roommate turns around gives me a fake name and everyone laughs at him. Then the GF goes back to telling the roommate how his pencil dick will fit in her earring hole.

The guy then starts telling me about all the cool bars in Dallas. Asking me questions like, if there were no consequences which would I prefer alcohol or pot. Next thing I know I’m listening to this story about Pantera and how he met their drummer in the strip joint they own called the Clubhouse. Every other thing out of his mouth from this point on was “Vinnie Fucking Paul dude.”

I swear to God it was like he was fucking sarging me. The story was about eight minutes long and had several DHV spikes in it, from meeting Vinnie Paul, to getting invited to an after party, riding in Vinnie Paul’s truck. He actually talked about crying when VP played a song someone had written about his brother Dimebag. And from there it went to how he handled his ex-wife when she asked him where he’d been all night. Just a big long string of DHVs all stacked together.

Afterwards I watched this guy move around the room between his friends and the bartender. He made me feel slow. That’s the only way I can describe it. But the thing is, I knew that I was looking at the closets thing to a fucking natural that I’ve ever seen.

I could see in this guy everything that I want to become. Raw fucking energy incarnate.