bestbacon wrote:Introduction
Advice on what mindset not to have when trying to get a girlfriend
Instructions
Step One
She's like the angel sent down from heaven.
Stop thinking of beautiful females as goddesses. I cannot stress this enough. Girls don't want you treating them as if they're a special one, they're humans too. You don't give a girl better treatment just because she's beautiful.
Step Two
You have to buy girls gifts/drink when meeting them.
No, no and no! That is definitely something that you must never do. Are you trying to demonstrate your personality by talking to her or just buying time with your money?
Step Three
She's too hot, I'll never be able to talk/get the girl to be my girlfriend.
No girl is too hot for you, you're just taking a pessimistic outlook on dating girls and putting yourself down in the dumps. Why are so many not-so-good-looking guys or average guys dating stunning women? Its because they have confidence.
Step Four
I know she won't like me, theres too many X differences/reasons.
The answer is no. How do you even know if she likes you or not when you haven't even made that effort to find out yet? (most likely the scenario for 80-90% of guys) If you haven't even talked to the girl, she won't ever even realize that you existed. How then, would she even knew how you were like? How could she of judged you without communicating to you? She can't!
And even if you have talked to her, are you just waiting as her friend for her to miraculously realize one day that you like her and go out with you? Take the initiative to tell her that you are interested in her and furthermore NEVER become her "friend" to increase your possibilites of going out with her. You'll be shattered when she comes up to you and cries about how her boyfriend ditched her. (In which you will then try to take advantage of her emotional loss and try to become that "great" guy whos always there for her only to see her with another guy a few weeks later who's not you)
Step Five
My friends can hook me up with her/I don't have to approach myself and tell her that i have feelings for her.
NO. Tell me, do you seem like a man in your own eyes if you don't even have the balls to just walk up to the girl you like and tell her that you like her? Probably not. You must always take the initiative to tell a girl you like her because girls are much more passive than the guys. They wear their clothes that flaunt off their body parts to attract you who may then decide to act on it and try to seduce/ask them out.
Link: Read any romance novel and you will realize that the guy always takes 100% of the initiative. He leads the girl to resturants/scenaries and even to the bedroom. Never does the girl do anything in the process of being attracted to the male except listen. Keep in mind that romance novels are almost always written by females. (That should tell you something)
Step Six
You can just break out by saying "I Love You" and manage to get a date with the girl.
Uh... No. Maybe in your fantasy or the latest drama show you've been watching on TV. But in real-life, thats a no no. Put yourself in the shoes of a girl for a moment. What do you think you would say to a random guy whom you've never knew that just came up to you with a desperate, nervous, and anxious voice/body language and told you "I Love You"? The answer that comes out of you is probably going to be a no.
Getting to know the girl is necessary. You can't just expect to skip that step and ask the girl out and demand her to accept, it just ain't going to happen. This explains why the "becoming her friend and progress to lover" method works sometimes. It at the very least breaks down the stranger factor between you two. However, this method has a very low sucess percentage.
direct link: How to not think when trying to get a girlfriend