Rejection

[Kool]

For most men being rejected by a women is, in my opinion, a main reason why they won't approach them in the first place. As humans we want to be liked by everyone, guys and girls alike. But, as we grow older and wiser we know that just inst the case. As individuals we may be smart, funny, wealthy, clever, witty, and even the life of the party. All of that combined, there are people that you will come into contact with and simply not like you for reasons you will never understand. In my opinion, being rejected or not liked is a blessing.

If a women rejects me it saves me time and energy. That energy can be better spent on a women who accepts my advances and not waste my time. Guys who are new to this must understand that everything you learn in PUA, or on this site, will not make you a superhero to every women you meet. Even the very best PUA's will be rejected by women simple based off of their appearance, what they say, or whatever. I will approach 5 women in a night and two or even three of them might reject me. It's the other two that I will most likely have success with and devote my time to. Like men, some women have a distinctive list of characters or traits that they want in a men. Some women only date cowboys, jockeys, or nerds. There are some things in this universe that you cannot control. Do not let the fear of rejection keep you from approaching women. Don't let fear keep you from living a happy and fulfilled life.

[crow]

Being rejected is a mainstay topic in the community, and I'm often surprised by the lack of nuance with which the issue is addressed. I'll try to air this out, and, Kool, help flesh this out if I miss anything.

The etymology of rejection is, basically, "to be thrown out." That kind if disregard is, for us social creatures, unpleasant. That said, a good relationship initiator *wants* to be slightly polarizing. That is, you want to express yourself fully enough that you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea.

Some guys, like Owen (from . . . charisma arts?) makes being rejected a big part of his game. Indeed, if you're looking for quick escalation, you have to either screen super-well from a distance or make moves that'll draw rejection from women that aren't interested in a quick thing.

Other guys, like me, don't like rejection very much and seem to avoid it. But I still understand it's just a thing that happens. It's rude, it's unnecessary, it's bad behavior, but you can't make people act right.

Now, all that being said, there's a huge pitfall which is the school of thought that says you should actively seek rejection. It does a good job of flipping your mentality and making you more approachive, but there's something not cool about causing harm or hoping/seeking to be harmed in order to prove to yourself that it doesn't matter.

Of course it matters.

Just because you get that rejection is inevitable doesn't mean you should go out if your way to get it.

Best practices are those that seek to minimize rejection, while best mental practices are prepared to graciously accept it when it happens.

Last thing, numbers are all over the place. Take two guys each of whom gets a number every night. One might get rejected rarely, while the other gets it all the time. I'd say, the more you make the interaction about the group, as opposed to yourself, the less often you'll get kicked.