Winston wrote:Why is there this talk about "social skills" when it comes to meeting women? Social skills doesn't really apply unless the other person meets you halfway and is willing to engage you into conversation. Otherwise, it's a non-factor and a mere shaming tactic used by victim-blaming people.
Oprah is known to have the best social skills for example. She is engaging, personable, asks her guests good questions, is a good listener, is comfortable to be around, etc. But that's if her guest wants to talk to her. If they don't, then her social skills are a non-issue.
So why do some people act as though you can use social skills to break the ice and cold approach women who DON'T want to talk to you? It doesn't work that way.
Only if the girl is open to talking to you and giving you a chance, does it come into play. Otherwise, it's a non-factor.
Therefore, if every girls is antisocial or gives you the cold shoulder, it doesn't mean that you have no social skills. That's a myth and false assumption. You're either not her type, or she is anti-social, not in the mood, busy, or you are in an environment/culture where people don't like to talk to strangers.
Just wanted to clear that up. There are so many false assumptions out there, often used to blame the victim.
Well, exactly Winston. Quite often this is used in the place of good common sense. So instead of thinking, the guys automatically default to the 'Social Skills' explanation.
You get a woman, you have good social skills. If you don't, you have no social skill and thus we need to coach you.
And that of course means spending $$$.
Also, the cues like girls smiling, laughing at you, flirting with you, winking, flipping their hair, looking in your direction etc. should be taken into context. If they're not doing that, then its probably not your social skills that need a tune up.
In other words, it takes two to tango. If you're there and you do some opening line and she's looking at her iPhone and turning her back, its probably not you that has the weak social skills.
Think about it.