LTRs: What do you do with them after it's done?

[Guest]

So, recently, my LTR (I use that term loosely as it hasn't really been an LTR for about a year or so) of about 3 years decided to bolt. I'm perfectly fine with this as the relationship ran it's course and I never had any real intention of settling down or marrying her (she had a kid and I wasn't going to be THAT guy raising another man's son). Don't get me wrong, I'm sad to see her go, but I'm not in the least bit upset that the relationship is over. Shit, I knew it was eventually going to happen anyways and always figured to myself that when she's ready to leave she will...I mean the structure of our LTR allowed me certain 'liberities' because she had a son and had to focus half her time on him so I was totally content with the structure. Plus anyways, it's way more important for a woman to leave a man than vice versa. It's the least I could do for her to keep her ego intact...

Anyways, so it's been about a month now and I don't ever contact her. She contacts me on occasion, which I find to be annoying because I'm not sure why she should bother AND she tends to do at at the worst moment (i.e. when I'm balls deep in some other woman's pussy). For the most part, I'm cordial about it. But, I've found that if she doesn't get a response or the response she wants then she starts pestering me more and playing bullshit guilt trip games on me. Just like when we were together...

This got me thinking. I have essentially zero contact with any of my previous LTRs. I've found that things just get messy if you linger. They end up cheating on their new boyfriends with you OR you end up cheating on your new LTR with your old LTRs. And, one or both, have a harder time letting go if you're still in each other's lives. Further, I'm usually one to completely erase any woman from my life after our 'relationship' has ran it's course...be it an LTR of a year OR an SNL. When it's over, it's over.

I'm curious. What do you guys do with your LTRs when they end? Do you try to remain friends or do you just delete them and move on to greener pastures?

[Guest]

With me, I've only ever had 3 LTR's. The one I'm in now, my baby mama, and the one right before her.

The funny thing with mine is that the first one I was in I still have contact with, and believe it or not, my mom, sister and her still talk regularly. It wasn't too weird because both of us moved on and really didn't talk or correspond at all for about 6 months after our break-up. This one lasted 3 years.

Baby mama, **edit*

The one I am in now, depending on how it ended, I would imagine I would still communicate with her, also, after some separation time, although I can't say if she would still have anything to do with me. Certainly what caused the breakup is a big factor. This one is going on 4 years.

After all three, I can say that it ultimately comes down to the type of person she was and what caused the breakup. Was she someone who added quality to your life, but that your beliefs or outlook on life were just different? If so, then she should stay around, and ultimately you shouldn't have any reason to dismiss her as a friend. Or rather shouldn't feel guilty about it.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;40630]
I'm curious. What do you guys do with your LTRs when they end? Do you try to remain friends or do you just delete them and move on to greener pastures?[/QUOTE]

I have always cut off all communication. I always cared about my previous LTR's though I no longer loved them. I did care for them enough that I wanted good things for them. This meant that I should remove myself completely from their lives so they could go on and meet another guy. If I was there it made it way too difficult for them to move on completely, and like you said there would be cheating going on both ways. It is very hard to pass up the old puss if it was good, or hell sometimes even better than the girl you are currently shagging.

Cut the tie and move on for her sake or yours.

[Guest]

Once I arrive at the point where I can honestly say that under no circumstance would I re-enter the relationship, I cut her out of my life completely.

The sex alone is not a good enough reason for me to keep contact with her, making a clean emotional break is more important for her sanity and mine. You have to look at pussy as a neverending spring of plentifulness and bounty. There will always be another pussy.

A man of value ACTIVELY manages his personal relationships, he doesn't flail around aimlessly. I call the principle Active Relationship Management, or "ARM.". If you want to learn more, you can download my e-book at [url]www.douchebagpua.com[/url] for the discount price of $14,986.42 each.

[Guest]

It depends on the girl and the situation of the break-up. But generally, so long as she has not wronged me in some irreparable manner, I do not intentionally erase her from my life except for more than a few months. Some times it happens naturally of course, and you just lose touch each other forever, and it makes no sense to carry on a relationship of any kind.

I realize that generally, I have a hard time letting go, and sometimes to my detriment believe in leaving things on good terms. Therefore, in a situation like yours, even if I wasn't initiating any contact with her, I will always at least acknowledge a girl if she tries to contact me. Maybe it's common courtesy, I suppose. It could also be that I tend to feel better about past relationships when I sense that the other person is still somewhat "on the hook".

Part of me deeply believes that when you do break-up with someone the emotions never totally erase. It's a door you've unlocked, and a door that will remain open possibly for the rest of your life, even if both of you know another legitimate shot at an LTR is impossible. But who knows, time may prove me wrong eventually.

[Guest]

It spunds like you you could use "ARM", or other "advanced pickup technologies" designed to turn you in to a "sex machine" and a "lladies man.". I will give you 20 percent off if you fill out a short survey that will only take around two and a half hours of your time.

PM me.

[QUOTE=Fuzz;40634]It depends on the girl and the situation of the break-up. But generally, so long as she has not wronged me in some irreparable manner, I do not intentionally erase her from my life except for more than a few months. Some times it happens naturally of course, and you just lose touch each other forever, and it makes no sense to carry on a relationship of any kind.

I realize that generally, I have a hard time letting go, and sometimes to my detriment believe in leaving things on good terms. Therefore, in a situation like yours, even if I wasn't initiating any contact with her, I will always at least acknowledge a girl if she tries to contact me. Maybe it's common courtesy, I suppose. It could also be that I tend to feel better about past relationships when I sense that the other person is still somewhat "on the hook".

Part of me deeply believes that when you do break-up with someone the emotions never totally erase. It's a door you've unlocked, and a door that will remain open possibly for the rest of your life, even if both of you know another legitimate shot at an LTR is impossible. But who knows, time may prove me wrong eventually.[/QUOTE]

[Guest]

Just answering the question honestly. I'm well aware of what my own personal flaws are and what I need to do to correct them. Thanks.

[Guest]

[QUOTE]A man of value ACTIVELY manages his personal relationships, he doesn't flail around aimlessly.[/QUOTE]

Just curious, but how do you "actively" manage something that you've cut out entirely?

[Guest]

Good question. Serious answer. Think of it like managing a stock portfolio. You buy in to the ones you want, and cut out the ones you don't. When this is done on a regular basis, you're "actively" managing your social life.

Only you're not dealing in money, but in another kind of utility: peace of mind.



[QUOTE=Finesse;40637]Just curious, but how do you "actively" manage something that you've cut out entirely?[/QUOTE]

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;40638]Good question. Serious answer. Think of it like managing a stock portfolio. You buy in to the ones you want, and cut out the ones you don't. When this is done on a regular basis, you're "actively" managing your social life.

Only you're not dealing in money, but in another kind of utility: peace of mind.[/QUOTE]

So what happens if there is no problem maintaining peace of mind by keeping the relationship intact? Or, what if value or higher state of mind is added?