Pre-Flake

[Guest]

I'm wondering how to handle the pre-flake. This is where you try to set up a day2, and the girl says yes but adds that something else may be going on.

For example, I just texted a girl I met on POF, "let's meet for a drink on Wednesday." She responded, "sounds good. if we dnt go 2 my frnd frm hiscools house 2 swim."

I want to next her for her poor texting abilities alone. I also want to communicate that I'm not going to be her second choice.

This happens from time to time. People are like that. Hey, I'm like that sometimes too. But with a girl I'm gaming, I want to let her know it's not acceptable. I mean, I don't really care if she declines. "No" is an acceptable answer. So how do you communicate that without sounding hurt? Or do you just interpret it as a "no" and move on with your life?

[Guest]

I typically interpret this as a no. I usually reply with something like:

Okay, no worries, have fun at your friends.

When I have responded this way (only a handfull of times has this happened to me though) I've always gotten something like, "Can we do it at this time?", or a no response.

If it's a no response, then you know she wasn't interested. If she tries to reschedule, then that's evident too.

[Guest]

If a girl texted/emailed that to me I would delete her number and move on. That is some of the ghettoest texting I have ever seen.

To answer your question when I got a response like that I would more or less call off the option of drinks. Basically give up on the Wednesday outing and rethink another time and place. Not that very second. Don't offer up another opportunity to hang with you for a few days or more.

A guy with options doesn't wait around hoping she meets up for drinks if the pool party gets canceled. I think if you allowed her this chance she would deem you low value. Even if you don't have other options just pretend in your head you do.

[Guest]

I usually interpret that as a No and send a reply like "have fun with that".

However there are those who genuinely have a prior engagement and they usually offer another day i.e. willing to negotiate for a more convenient time for the both of you. In this case i counter with a different day/time than she offered. Usually a week out or something. I figure that she's willing to negotiate then she's in its just not possible.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=traxxus;37084]I typically interpret this as a no. I usually reply with something like:

Okay, no worries, have fun at your friends.

When I have responded this way (only a handfull of times has this happened to me though) I've always gotten something like, "Can we do it at this time?", or a no response.

If it's a no response, then you know she wasn't interested. If she tries to reschedule, then that's evident too.[/QUOTE]

I took your advice. I responded with, "ok, have fun at your friend's." She texted right back asking if I could chat and then called me. She explained that she already had the plans but she wanted to meet me so she would try to get out of them.

I didn't budge though. Every time she said something like that I would just say, "it's cool that you already have plans, no worries." Finally, she said, "I'll let you know tomorrow. I promise."

Regarding the ghetto texting, she's a middle school teacher. She teaches careers and communication. I hope she was trying to be funny.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;37102]Regarding the ghetto texting, she's a middle school teacher. She teaches careers and communication. I hope she was trying to be funny.[/QUOTE]



No offense, but if she's a teacher then she's probably an idiot. I've never met a teacher that was in the least bit intelligent. The only place you'll find intelligent teachers are private schools and universities...even then it's still hit or miss.

[Guest]

I totally agree. I know a few teachers and they're all air heads. I may or may not find out with this one. She seems a little weird anyway.

[Guest]

I would act like it wasn't a big deal. That I'm a busy guy with options. Do this by just not caring.

Don't force a yes or a no. I think this is neediness in the attraction phase... especially on a day 1 or 2. Rather than play game to get an answer; just throw a fastball straight at her head and lay out the boundary. Follow it up and let her know your an honest person and want that type of rapport with her. That should separate you from the rest of the blokes. And if she is just flaky... well, she goes onto your backup backup list of women.

I don't like to chase.. I like to get chosen.