Work game -- I need your help

[Guest]

Oh fuck me in the ear. This isn't that complicated. All he needs to do is start talking to the girl, an opinion opener is a good way, lion's plan is good. Direct is no good in this case because he's at work and has other things to worry about - like harrasment and his rep in general. Not worth risking his source of income over a girl he doesn't know. As for comfort, I agree, but you still need to attract. You still can't chase, you still are the prize, she will still shit test you. They will be more subtle, but she will still need to know if you validate yourself to her. You still can't jump thru hoops. Play the game, but play like a gentleman. Comfort will come. You'll need it, but don't seek it. And don't neg too hard because you don't want a rep at work for being a jerk to women.

[Guest]

Interesting responses fellas. I think I will just start up a conversation as lion had mentioned and see what happens...

I'll keep you posted.

[Guest]

Here are my two cents.

I agree with Lion. Make natural conversation and escalate.

If you don't want to be her platonic friend, then don't act like one. I'm sure she is surrounded by guys who act like a friend. She probably doesn't trust those guys, and she's right not to. You want to set yourself apart from those guys, so make it personal, appreciate her unique self, and [B]escalate[/B] the relationship. Most guys she knows don't do that.

According to Juggler Method, there are two aspects to escalation: (a) tell her why you want to escalate, and (b) tell her what you want to do. Early on, this can be as simple as, "I like your laugh. I want to come by later and talk to you some more." But I think it's important to get her out of the work environment. In fact, that could be your 3rd or 4th escalation. "You are so easy to talk to. I would like to hang out with you away from the work environment." You can't be accused of sexual harrassment for things you do on a Saturday afternoon at a coffee shop (unless you work there). Once you get her away from the workplace, you can game her as usual.

Disqualifiers are good in this situation too. Something like, "I like you, but it probably wouldn't work out between a shy girl and an Asian pickup artist" (ok, maybe not THAT one, but you get the idea). It's flirting, but she can't say that you're sexually harrassing her if you're telling her why you CAN'T be together. Create barriers and then use them to build sexual tension. Then when you get her out of the work environment, you may be wondering where the shy girl went.

[Guest]

I want to preface with the "don't shit where you eat" catch phrase...because that's my rule. However....

I agree that going direct is the wrong thing to do. You could go direct in a friendship frame, but then you'd have to dig out of that hole before moving in the right direction. You have to take her friends that are always around in to consideration. Your direct approach might seem innocent to her, but the guy will naturally be defensive, and the girl jealous...so they could very easily convince her that it was borderline sexual harassment or creepy.

It sounds to me like you see her in some common break room area? If so, instead of sitting with your coworker acquaintances, go to the lunch room solo. As far as I would go direct is the classic, "You guys look friendly...mind if I join you?" and go from there. Negs to could also be interpreted by her (or more importantly her friends) as harassment, too. Personally, I would save negging until you've got more comfort with her (and the others if they're always around when you converse with her.)

If she is the way you think she is (shy etc.), just initiating the convo and stuff will probably flick a few attraction switches...which is very little work on your part.

Don't take any AMOG frame with the dude. Period.

Good luck, buddy. Keep us posted.

[Guest]

i'm late to this thread...still catching up from posts during my move/temporary living situation.

I'd still advise on the classic advice of not dippin' pen in the company ink. While "she's in a different dept" makes sense today...it could hurt you in the future.

I had an opportunity years ago in a storage closet "presented to me" to literally have my way with a "different department" admin assistant right then and there...(prolonged flirting and she arranged that she "needed my help to rearrange some heavy items in a secluded storage room..."). Fast forward a year, and a promotion for me to management, fast forward another year and an organizational realignment, and this was now my new deparartment's admin that was responsible for my area. I could have seriously jeopardized my professional situation if we had ever gone down that path, because at the time it was purely a sexual tension between us.

BUT that said, i have a buddy that has been married for years to a coworker of ours when we were at the same job YEARS ago. I still remember him commenting the day she joined the company.

Moral of the story...if it's just a hook up thing...there are tons more women out there that if that's your thing it would be better off pursuing....you never know what the future holds in that organization. If it's someone you genuinely feel something for, and not just in your pants, follow it.