The past couple of weeks I've been looking over my FRs for recent months, and I've noticed that my push / pull is both inconsistent and sometimes bland.
Do any of you know of or have good references on the topic? Examples are fine, although I usually internalize things better if I have a general framework to adapt.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Push / Pull?
3 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Guest » Sun Sep 20, 2009 1:55 pm
First of all, I haven't really read about or consciously done push/pull. But, I was curious and just did a quick search.
[url]http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/use-the-top-secret-pushpull-technique-to-attract-women-now-197398.html[/url]
What I gather from it is, you want a challenging, does-he-like-me-or-not type of frame. You're validating her, but also invalidating/take-away. I think I've read some MM that talks about it.
Ways that I can think of to do this is (note: take the following with a grain of salt...I haven't field tested or anything):
-Backhanded compliments (not in an insulting way...but a way that invalidates the compliment a little)
[I]You're really cute...for a short girl
You've got a great smile. It's the 4th best I've seen today!
You're either the coolest girl I've met tonight...or you're a total weirdo. I haven't figured it out yet.
[/I]-Take away
[I]Oh my god I LOVE adventurous girls! I can't even talk to you now![/I]
[url]http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/use-the-top-secret-pushpull-technique-to-attract-women-now-197398.html[/url]
What I gather from it is, you want a challenging, does-he-like-me-or-not type of frame. You're validating her, but also invalidating/take-away. I think I've read some MM that talks about it.
Ways that I can think of to do this is (note: take the following with a grain of salt...I haven't field tested or anything):
-Backhanded compliments (not in an insulting way...but a way that invalidates the compliment a little)
[I]You're really cute...for a short girl
You've got a great smile. It's the 4th best I've seen today!
You're either the coolest girl I've met tonight...or you're a total weirdo. I haven't figured it out yet.
[/I]-Take away
[I]Oh my god I LOVE adventurous girls!
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:00 pm
[QUOTE=Lazarus;33157]The past couple of weeks I've been looking over my FRs for recent months, and I've noticed that my push / pull is both inconsistent and sometimes bland.
Do any of you know of or have good references on the topic? Examples are fine, although I usually internalize things better if I have a general framework to adapt.[/QUOTE]
Think about it this way. Imagine you are a super hot girl with loads of sex options. Or better still, imagine you are King Henry VIII back in the day. This is the frame we start from.
How would your BL look? 90%+ initial judgement of a person is on looks and BL. Would you be nervous? Shit no. Confident, assuming the girls want you more like. Aware of your environment but definitely not affected by anything it throws your way.
If you saw a girl you liked what would you do? Confidently flirt but never take unwarranted shit. Act (nicely) like that is a violation of social protocol (which it is really).
Your frame is that you give her a chance. Not in a douchebag way but genuinely, like you are a decent person. She has the option and has to make a choice. Women like to follow along with this game if they are interested because you are "not like the other guys". There must be something different about you. Voila.
Push your intention yes, but always show you are willing to walk away. Yes this will mean sometimes leaving her physically. When you come back you have conveyed a very powerful sense of patience and self. Stuff like that is the best push/pull one can convey.
Push = I like you.
Pull = I can take it or leave it.
Said answer is 1000 times easier to show/explain in person BTW. Mostly because it is almost all body language AND if you are ever incongruent with it you are done.
Read Tyler Durden here
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4138[/URL]
or here
[URL]http://www.bristollair.com/outer-game/techniques/tactics/playing-hard-to-get.html[/URL]
Good luck.
PS. I re-reviewed the TD post myself. vector please fix the quotation marks in the dallas lair repost via copy and paste from the second link.
Below I have copied Tyler's summary of his post. I personally forgot to mention what I think is important as per 6. "recognizing anything that you can misinterpret as her trying to seduce you" - then call her out. This ups the ante and makes her chase harder because no AFC guy trying to just get laid would ever do it (or see it).
Clearly Tyler has more time on his hands than I do. One day I will take the time to brain dump all my knowledge.
=====
Anyway, in summary, a few points to have taken from this are:
1- There is a natural social process that occurs, which women don't want you to know about. They want you to think that you're the one who picked them up, so they don't have to "be responsible" for it. However, this fallacy has spawned guys in this community to develop pickup styles that violate social practices, in a way that isn't effective. (I violate social practices myself, but in a way that nobody spots). That's why when you talk about hitting on girls, the girls don't like it. But if you ask them "How *would* you like a guy to hit on you?" they have no realistic reply. It's because they secretly know that they pickup guys, but don't admit it publically or even to themselves.
2- Being able to attract a girl is often not enough. Girls find themselves wanting to sleep with various guys that they see all day long. What it takes to actually get laid, is to flip her S/C switch, so that she's decided "Today is the day. This guy is the guy". This is why there are many guys in the scene who can run a tight set, but still don't get laid. They have a certain part of their game down, but need to work more on flipping that fucking S/C Switch.
3- Being aware of buying temperature spikes, and knowing WHEN to pull away is key. If you just pull away at arbitrary times, you will not get a result.
4- Guys think that looks is the most important part of a pickup. In fact, its brains. You have to be smart as fucking hell to do this stuff. You have to think fast on your feet, and you have to calibrate. Most guys don't have a repertoire of material that will spike buying temperature, and fall into a trap of talking about situational stuff, which girls just interpret as you trying to get rapport with them, and makes you unchallenging.
5- There is a difference between a girl being attracted to you, and a girl wanting to fuck you. If you are TOO GIVING in set, then you run the risk of being the first guy, not the second. You have to be giving, but strategically.
6- To implant the idea of seducing you into the girls' mind, you have to have a repertoire of material to do so. That is BOTH material to entertain sets so you can pull a girl from her group or open a lone girl in a way that doesn't set off an autopilot response, but also you have to have material that gets her thinking that she wants you and gets her chasing you. This material is a combination of regular material that you use to spike buying temperature, and then pulling back, as well as recognizing anything that you can misinterpret as her trying to seduce you, and then pulling back from that as well, which raises the challenge and makes her do it more, and then you can play with it in the ways that were mentioned.
Tyler Durden
Do any of you know of or have good references on the topic? Examples are fine, although I usually internalize things better if I have a general framework to adapt.[/QUOTE]
Think about it this way. Imagine you are a super hot girl with loads of sex options. Or better still, imagine you are King Henry VIII back in the day. This is the frame we start from.
How would your BL look? 90%+ initial judgement of a person is on looks and BL. Would you be nervous? Shit no. Confident, assuming the girls want you more like. Aware of your environment but definitely not affected by anything it throws your way.
If you saw a girl you liked what would you do? Confidently flirt but never take unwarranted shit. Act (nicely) like that is a violation of social protocol (which it is really).
Your frame is that you give her a chance. Not in a douchebag way but genuinely, like you are a decent person. She has the option and has to make a choice. Women like to follow along with this game if they are interested because you are "not like the other guys". There must be something different about you. Voila.
Push your intention yes, but always show you are willing to walk away. Yes this will mean sometimes leaving her physically. When you come back you have conveyed a very powerful sense of patience and self. Stuff like that is the best push/pull one can convey.
Push = I like you.
Pull = I can take it or leave it.
Said answer is 1000 times easier to show/explain in person BTW. Mostly because it is almost all body language AND if you are ever incongruent with it you are done.
Read Tyler Durden here
[URL]http://www.dallaslair.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4138[/URL]
or here
[URL]http://www.bristollair.com/outer-game/techniques/tactics/playing-hard-to-get.html[/URL]
Good luck.
PS. I re-reviewed the TD post myself. vector please fix the quotation marks in the dallas lair repost via copy and paste from the second link.
Below I have copied Tyler's summary of his post. I personally forgot to mention what I think is important as per 6. "recognizing anything that you can misinterpret as her trying to seduce you" - then call her out. This ups the ante and makes her chase harder because no AFC guy trying to just get laid would ever do it (or see it).
Clearly Tyler has more time on his hands than I do. One day I will take the time to brain dump all my knowledge.
=====
Anyway, in summary, a few points to have taken from this are:
1- There is a natural social process that occurs, which women don't want you to know about. They want you to think that you're the one who picked them up, so they don't have to "be responsible" for it. However, this fallacy has spawned guys in this community to develop pickup styles that violate social practices, in a way that isn't effective. (I violate social practices myself, but in a way that nobody spots). That's why when you talk about hitting on girls, the girls don't like it. But if you ask them "How *would* you like a guy to hit on you?" they have no realistic reply. It's because they secretly know that they pickup guys, but don't admit it publically or even to themselves.
2- Being able to attract a girl is often not enough. Girls find themselves wanting to sleep with various guys that they see all day long. What it takes to actually get laid, is to flip her S/C switch, so that she's decided "Today is the day. This guy is the guy". This is why there are many guys in the scene who can run a tight set, but still don't get laid. They have a certain part of their game down, but need to work more on flipping that fucking S/C Switch.
3- Being aware of buying temperature spikes, and knowing WHEN to pull away is key. If you just pull away at arbitrary times, you will not get a result.
4- Guys think that looks is the most important part of a pickup. In fact, its brains. You have to be smart as fucking hell to do this stuff. You have to think fast on your feet, and you have to calibrate. Most guys don't have a repertoire of material that will spike buying temperature, and fall into a trap of talking about situational stuff, which girls just interpret as you trying to get rapport with them, and makes you unchallenging.
5- There is a difference between a girl being attracted to you, and a girl wanting to fuck you. If you are TOO GIVING in set, then you run the risk of being the first guy, not the second. You have to be giving, but strategically.
6- To implant the idea of seducing you into the girls' mind, you have to have a repertoire of material to do so. That is BOTH material to entertain sets so you can pull a girl from her group or open a lone girl in a way that doesn't set off an autopilot response, but also you have to have material that gets her thinking that she wants you and gets her chasing you. This material is a combination of regular material that you use to spike buying temperature, and then pulling back, as well as recognizing anything that you can misinterpret as her trying to seduce you, and then pulling back from that as well, which raises the challenge and makes her do it more, and then you can play with it in the ways that were mentioned.
Tyler Durden
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