Venue anxiety when sarging solo

[Guest]

Whenever I go to a bar or club solo, I feel completely out of place there. I feel like it's obvious to everyone that I'm there for the sole purpose of trying to pick up chicks, especially since I don't drink at all (not just in bars, I have medical and personal reasons why I don't drink) so I have no real good "excuse" to be there.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=spoonybard;33100]Whenever I go to a bar or club solo, I feel completely out of place there. I feel like it's obvious to everyone that I'm there for the sole purpose of trying to pick up chicks, especially since I don't drink at all (not just in bars, I have medical and personal reasons why I don't drink) so I have no real good "excuse" to be there.[/QUOTE]

You don't need an excuse to be there. do what you want.

I've done a lot of solo sarging. I say the truth...I wanted to get out of the house and socialize, end of story. Looking back, most of my most "interesting" nights have been solo because you are out just going with the flow rather than hanging with your buds.

Chat up guys and make some insta-wings. I've found it easiest to locate yourself at the literal bar, so it's just proximity that you start to shoot the shit.

[Guest]

Going to bars has nothing to do with alcohol. It has everything to do with being social and meeting new people. They serve alcohol at bars to facilitate social interaction...you don't got to bars to drink AND as a secondary be social. You go to a bar to be social and alcohol is used a social lubricant.

If people just wanted to drink you can go to a liquor store and do it in the privacy of your own home. I mean if you just wanted to get lit, why would you go to a public place and deal with other drunk people and wait around for your next drink? Seems pointless to me...

Since a bar is a social place designed to facilitate interactions between people it only serves to follow that everyone in that place knows what your intention is when you roll up to a girl and strike up a conversation. It's pretty obvious to everyone what's going on. This is why indirect game is so beautiful, because you roll up to a girl and she's got the frame that you're hitting on her THEN you tear that down and she begins to wonder why you aren't hitting on her. This piques her interest in YOU. You are the guy in a setting designed for men to hit on women and you aren't hitting on her.

So, everyone knows what you're doing and your job is to do one of two things: 1) accept the "he's hitting on chicks frame" and just fucking come out a do it (direct game) OR 2) tear down that frame and come in under the radar (indirect game).

I think this is an insight into what may be a limiting belief on your part. If you're having trouble feeling as if every one knows you're at a bar to hit on chicks, which is actually the normal thing to do, then you probably still feel like it's weird for you to 'game' women at all. Maybe it's because you feel odd using our tactics or maybe it's because you don't feel worthy enough to hit on women. Dunno. Just food for thought bro...