Girl says she can't handel me dating other girls

[jast]

I meet a girl that I really like and we have been dating for 4 weeks. Out of the 4 I am talking to I like her the most. She knows I am dating other girls.

Sunday I go to a party and hang out for 3 hours. I tell her I have to go and that I will see her Monday (we had plans) she walks me out side and is acting all upset and pouty.

Me: I had a good time don't be like that I will see you Monday.
Her: I can be I don't want to shear you I am tired of competing for you.
Me: I am here with you now but if you want to be all pouty fine (I give her a kiss and walk to my car)

30 min later I get this text message
“This breaks my Heart but I think we should say good bye ur right, Im not secure enough with myself to be able 2 handle u and other girls sorry."

Ok, I don't want to next her but I have a problem.
I don't want to say ok I will just see you. I don't want her to think she can just say she is going to leave and then get her way. Is there some way to keep her and make sure I keep my HV?

[holyskeleton]

thats the whole point of attraction. go back to when you first met her and how she got into you, then do the same thing again. or perhaps just go meet other girls. she cant handle you that means shes not good enough for you. or have you developed one-itis?

on the other hand, if you want to pursuit a serious relationship then just cut back on the body language when you talk to other girls and more kino to her. that way you'll be able to put more emphasis on her.

[Vector]

holyskeleton, I have no idea what you think you're saying. You're using PU buzz words but you're not making any sense at all.

Jast, you did well to not give in to the girl right away. Choosing to not see the other girls has to be on your terms, not on hers. 4 weeks is a while, it's not surprising that she would start to want exclusivity. Decide what you want and just be honest.

Another thing is you can encourage good behavior by framing. When she said "ur right, Im not secure enough with myself..." it suggests she thinks of herself as insecure, which you want to avoid. If you at some point had told her "you're a big girl, I like that you are in control of your emotions" then she would want to try to live up to the positive idea of herself that you've given her. On the other hand, if you say "don't be such a whiny brat" then she will think of herself as a whiny brat and play the role even more.

Frame things positively. "I like that you can talk about your feelings without being whiny and needy." Or if she's being pouty, "You are usually mature and strong, that's one of the things I like about you by the way." "I know you're not the type of person who gives ultimatums. Which is good because I don't react well to ultimatums."

You'll have to use statements that are relevant to your situation but it can work. One time I was with a young girl and I told her I liked how she was mature for her age. I'm convinced after that she was much more mature around me than she would have been.

[Rhody]

One of these days I'm going to start a thread about managing expectations. It's something that isn't discussed enough. It's also a problem of mine. I always end up in relationships that are more serious than I intended. I know it's my fault, and I can usually look back and see what I did wrong.

[Mojo]

Women will try the “I don’t want to share you” gambit once in a while. Handle this with understanding to her feelings and firmness. Tell her that when you are together, she is the only person that will get your attention. You want to let her know she has your undivided attention when you are together. Also, do not waver and be firm in the expectations in the relationship. After all, you were honest up front and she knew what to expect.

Recently I had to sit down and talk to one of my girls regarding this. I re-asserted that this relationship is not going to get serious. She responded on how would I feel if she dated other guys. I told her that she is free to do that. I don’t want to hold her back since she is at that age where she is looking for a husband. She was disappointed since that is not what she wanted to hear. Though, she respects my honesty and decided to continue with what we have.

Another girl I am seeing is now hinting at a more serious relationship, mentioning she is no longer seeing that guy she was seeing and asking how serious I was with the other girl. Again, be honest and let them know nothing has changed. Do not lie to spare their feelings. It is kinder to be true than lie and enhance any hurt. Also, if you pull away at this time they will chase you even harder, possible exhibiting AFC traits (i.e. Average Frustrated Chick). This is a time to be understanding and not to play games (yeah, I know, ironic). Last thing you need is a stalker.

[Rhody]

Also, if you pull away at this time they will chase you even harder, possible exhibiting AFC traits (i.e. Average Frustrated Chick). This is a time to be understanding and not to play games (yeah, I know, ironic). Last thing you need is a stalker.

Yes. Pulling away leaves a vacuum that sucks her in. It's like push/pull, only multiply that by 1000.