Anybody have any experience with this?
This girl I've been seeing quite a bit for the last 3months asks me if I thought I'd ever get back with my ex-wife! I tell her "no". Then she tells me I'm probably not totally over her and it takes a while. Where she collected this intel from I have no clue! She claimed it was womens intuition! lol.
Yes I talk with my ex-wife often and we are good friends but I want nothing more than that and I told girlfriend that. I don't bring up my exwife in front of my girlfriend.
Also, girlfriend is a touch on the insecure side. And she still talks to her ex-boyfriend which perhaps maybe she wants to get back with him and thats where this is coming from.
Everything seems to be clicking a long just fine and I hear how fun I am on a regular basis.
In the past when a girl has brought up the issue of my ex, it was the beginning of the end. I'm thinking the same thing applies here???
Whats your guys' take on this mumbo-jumbo?
It fits the whole find a guy about November and dump him right after Valentines Day theory! :-)
The more I learn about women, the more I love my dog.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Whats this mean? Need man-code translation!
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by Guest » Wed Feb 18, 2009 3:08 pm
I wouldnt necessarily say that she wants to get back with him, but the thought has probably crossed her mind some. It could also be that her ex-bf is pursuing her again...or simply just the insecurity talking. Do you have any friendship with any other chicks? Her reaction to that could tell you a bit more...
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Feb 18, 2009 3:20 pm
Yes her ex-boyfriend is pursuing her again!
And yes I've had her around several of my female friends and she gets very insecure. They're good looking and party type girls and that gets her jealous! lol. I have to talk some common sense into her after every encounter and ensure her that they are harmless. As far as "seeing" any other girls I am not.
And yes I've had her around several of my female friends and she gets very insecure. They're good looking and party type girls and that gets her jealous! lol. I have to talk some common sense into her after every encounter and ensure her that they are harmless. As far as "seeing" any other girls I am not.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Feb 18, 2009 3:23 pm
i dont think it really matters too much what she says. she is trying to sabotage whatever feelings she has so she doesnt feel guilty about soething she is about or wants to do.
what matters is what you want out of the deal. one of the girls i was seeing a while back as well as the one im seeing now both said the same thing. and i answered with "if you say so". i dropped it and moved on.
never ever get into a "serious" talk with a girl unless youre seeing them exclusively. because if you arent exclusive there is virtually no accountabilty tobe had either way.
what matters is what you want out of the deal. one of the girls i was seeing a while back as well as the one im seeing now both said the same thing. and i answered with "if you say so". i dropped it and moved on.
never ever get into a "serious" talk with a girl unless youre seeing them exclusively. because if you arent exclusive there is virtually no accountabilty tobe had either way.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Feb 19, 2009 12:30 am
[quote1235021266=Finesse]
i dont think it really matters too much what she says. she is trying to sabotage whatever feelings she has so she doesnt feel guilty about soething she is about or wants to do.
[/quote1235021266]
I think this man has a good point. That is probably what she is trying to do.
It is very hard to come between a girl and her exBF if they had a good relationship and things just went sour but they continued to talk. Usually super strong feelings and emotions remain for a long period of time. Ones that take years to establish. So if this is the case with her and her ex I would say you are on the losing end of the deal.
i dont think it really matters too much what she says. she is trying to sabotage whatever feelings she has so she doesnt feel guilty about soething she is about or wants to do.
[/quote1235021266]
I think this man has a good point. That is probably what she is trying to do.
It is very hard to come between a girl and her exBF if they had a good relationship and things just went sour but they continued to talk. Usually super strong feelings and emotions remain for a long period of time. Ones that take years to establish. So if this is the case with her and her ex I would say you are on the losing end of the deal.
- Guest
by Guest » Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:38 pm
People generally assume others are just like themselves. Or at least much moreso than they really are. She might be assuming you feel the way she does. So I agree it says a lot about what's going on in her mind.
Another thing is that the similarity assumption goes the other way too, meaning your feelings serve as an indication of how she is or should be feeling. So you could for example say, "oh, yeah, well I did for a while but every time I thought of her in that way I kept thinking of how awful she made me feel, and pretty soon I had no interest in getting back with her."
Finesse is an expert on that as well.
Another thing is that the similarity assumption goes the other way too, meaning your feelings serve as an indication of how she is or should be feeling. So you could for example say, "oh, yeah, well I did for a while but every time I thought of her in that way I kept thinking of how awful she made me feel, and pretty soon I had no interest in getting back with her."
Finesse is an expert on that as well.
- Guest
by Guest » Sat Feb 21, 2009 3:01 pm
There is a psychological term for this called "displacement."
You talk to your ex. She talks to her ex. She feels feelings for her ex but doesn't want to admit it/talk about it -- therefore she assumes you feel feelings for your ex. She is placing her feelings about her ex-bf onto you.
Alternative explanation: She is insecure. Very few people are very friendly with their ex-wives. MAYBE civil, but not friendly/close. This sets off alarm bells for the insecure woman, especially when she is already aware of your player-ish ways as I know yours is.
Could be a bit of both. What to do about it I couldn't tell ya :)
You talk to your ex. She talks to her ex. She feels feelings for her ex but doesn't want to admit it/talk about it -- therefore she assumes you feel feelings for your ex. She is placing her feelings about her ex-bf onto you.
Alternative explanation: She is insecure. Very few people are very friendly with their ex-wives. MAYBE civil, but not friendly/close. This sets off alarm bells for the insecure woman, especially when she is already aware of your player-ish ways as I know yours is.
Could be a bit of both. What to do about it I couldn't tell ya :)
- Guest
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