Request for feedback regarding a possible LTR

[Guest]

[quote1228354636=Sal Paradise]
I am considering just being completely open with her and saying that she is giving me mixed messages and I am curious what is going on. Please let me know what you all think. Thanks,
-Sal

[/quote1228354636]

no,no,no... don't do say that, that'll land you square in AFC-land to her. Be unreactive to this bullshit. Not to mention you don't get anywhere asking it. By asking it, it won't suddenly unlock some magical emotion that she meant all along to be banging you or she has some deep feelings, all it does is attempt to verbalize emotions in some kind of awkward logical conversation rather than letting them FEEL emotions.

Set up one more meet that is solid/confirmed and don't let anyone ever have option of holding you hostage for a night that you need to call and she has the final say like this Wed night thing you mentioned. That's a good rule anytime. [b]It's either confirmed meet ups or nothing in my book[/b]. I don't leave a night as tentative that THEY then make the call that it's yay/nay at last minute. Remember we welcome them into OUR world and lives at our discretion not other way around.

[Guest]

Topdog's right... having that convo will make you sound needy.

I would say wait until around the time finals are over and try and get together with her then... silent treatment from you until then unless she gets in touch with you. If she blows you off once her excuse is over then there is no excuse.

That being said, in my experience she may still be interested, but she is definitely not super into you at this point even if she is busy as shit -- girls make time for you if they are into you even when busy. You still got a ways to go to take this into the LTR zone... but just because she's not there yet doesn't mean she won't be.

I know how you feel tho I think most of us have probably been in your situation once... I am actually in a similar one now myself and withdrawing attention from one who is sending mixed signals...

I often suspect in these cases that they have interest in another guy (and do in my current case as well).

Unfortunately I don't think she's really sending you mixed signals she's sending you clear signals that her level of interest is not where yours is. But that is not really unusual when you first start dating... it always surprises me when it happens but that is also cuz I tend to assume if a girl is going out with me more than once she is feelin it but some girls just take longer to make up their minds than others. If she does end up liking you it is a good sign that she may not be as needy as most chicks... needy chicks tend to fall fast ;)

[Guest]

I'm swamped with finals right now. I always forget how busy those last two weeks really are.

She might actually be in the same situation, so I'd say give her the benefit of the doubt on the 'busy for the next two weeks' thing.

I'm working a chick currently that I thought I had pretty much lost traction with as of Monday....but I was able to (seemingly by magic) reel her back in with a couple qualification texts + the points game.

Maybe give some of those old tricks a try to re-spark her interest if you think its fading?

[Guest]

Good advice here.

I must say you try a lot harder than I do. If I get shit like this from a girl I just delete her number and move on. I have passed on a shit load of puss this year from just giving up so soon.

If you want to continue pursueing this I would actually wait for a minimum 2 weeks and maybe even a month before I contract her again after the new year(I am assuming you guys go to school together). Basically let everything die down and try to rekindle down the road. A lot of things can change in a month.

TopDog can you elaborate on how you get a girl to 100% confirm? I would like to hear more about that. I have a one flake and you are out rule which eliminates a lot of girls and gets their numbers deleted. I would not mind reducing that statistic.

[Guest]

Sal- lol, we've all felt your pain bro! She sounds like a "typical" emotional woman to me! Everybody has said some great advice. In that last text session I noticed she is qualifying herself. You mention you met some people, she mentions she met some people. You say you're busy, she says she was busy. I think she's interested, she's trying to get across the point that she's worthy but shes also got some flake in her.

She gave you a pretty detailed response about her not being able to meet because of the birthday thing. I don't think she would have been that detailed if she didn't care.

Like the others said.....make her qualify herself to you and convince you. Throw her some negs. You really don't have anything to lose.
Yeah give it sometime. When I got a girl in this situation I'll sit on it for a while and maybe send her a mass text message joke in a week. Just so she is reminded of you. I use the text message joke as bait....usually they reply back with "hahaha thats funny, whats up?"
And then you have them re-opening YOU!

When she does, then wait 3hrs and send her a response. Shows you aren't needy at all.

[Guest]

[quote1228413858=playercool]


TopDog can you elaborate on how you get a girl to 100% confirm? I would like to hear more about that. I have a one flake and you are out rule which eliminates a lot of girls and gets their numbers deleted. I would not mind reducing that statistic.
[/quote1228413858]

well my comment to this thread was mainly geared towards not leaving a potential date 'up in the air'. Once i propose day/time, it's either a yes or no answer . if it's a no, then propose other time, etc..
it's never a maybe/i'll let you know day before/etc... if they say that, i just pin down other day.

that doesn't guarantee a flake actually occurring after the fact, but it wasn't from you being held in limbo tying up a night just for a possibility of meet up. that is the 100% confirmed that i meant..

As far as the flaking aspect.... Personally i don't recall last time i was flaked on and I think what helps is that i never try to # close more than 1 girl in a venue on a given night. if i've locked in w/ someone who i'm actually even interested in getting the #close, we will end up hanging the rest of the night at the venue, so she is well invested in the interaction at that point and it's clear we are into each other. I don't think i've ever opened, chatted for a few minutes, # close, and then continue to hang out in the same venue. I never quite understand when i hear people say they got X amount of #closes on a given night. why bother? Obviously the more likely chance of getting numerous flakes out of those numbers...

If i'm willing and interested enough to take another night out of my schedule, get ready, drive somewhere to hang with her, reestablish that comfort/rapport, why wouldn't i continue the interaction right then and there...

[Guest]

Thanks for the advice everyone! I usually wouldn't let her leave me hanging but I actually just forgot to reply to her text and then just decided to call her the next day. Anyway, we will see what happens.

[Guest]

Lots of good advice here I think.