Teasing women

[Guest]

I haven't been doing this enough lately, but women always seem to love it when I tease them.

I'm wondering what kinds of things do you tease women about and what are some of your favorite lines for teasing women.

[Guest]

I try to tease them as early as their response to my opener (i.e. note to self, don't date this girl). But I usually find something unique about them and tease them naturally throughout the conversation. Make sure she has an idea that you are joking because any teasing said in the wrong tone could come off as an insult. I did find a pretty detail list which I will post below. I got it on the attraction forums and I can't remember who put this together but it is a good start:

Frame 1: She’s Misbehaving; You’re Going to Fight
-You look like trouble
-You and I aren’t gonna get along
-We’re gonna fight
-My mom warned me about girls like you
-I hate you
-You suck
-You dork
-Ok, note to self: don’t date her
-I can’t talk to you anymore
-Is she always like this?
-Stop playing hard to get; you know I’m better at it

Frame 2: She’s Hitting on You
-Are you hitting on me?
-If you don’t stop hitting on me I’m going to get a restraining order
-Are you trying to feel me up/grope me? [if she touches you]
-Touching me already? I’m not that easy/this shit ain’t for free.
-Stop undressing me with your eyes
-Stop trying to seduce me
-What are you looking at? I’m not a piece of meat/sausage with giant feet
-Stop pointing at/trying to feel my boobs
-My eyes are here (face), not here (crotch). [If she stares at your crotch or complements you on your belt]
-Just because you like my shirt/pants doesn’t mean it’s coming off [if she complements you on either, which girls frequently do]
-You’re hitting on the wrong guy, I’m totally not boyfriend material. That guy looks better for you [point to some loser beta male]
-You like hanging around us, don’t you? [if she leaves and comes back]
-Are you a sexual predator?
-You’re bad, you’re making me think impure thoughts
-Did you put roofies in my drink?
-Are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me?
-I’m not that kind of guy. I need trust, comfort and connection first.
-I don’t like to take things past friendship
-I’m not some trophy husband you can use for sex. I have feelings too.
-Is that your pickup line? [if she opens you]
-Did you come over here just to flirt with me?
-Stop thinking about me; I’m tingling
-Don’t miss me too much

Frame 3: She Wants to Come Back for the After Party
-Don’t get your hopes up, I’m not that easy [when she first mentions an after party]
-Don’t get any ideas, I’m going to pass out on you
-You can come in, but only for a second. I have to work tomorrow.
-But I promised my friends I wouldn’t go home with anyone tonight!
-I don’t kiss on the first date [when you’re setting up a day 2]

Frame 4: She’s a Bad Girlfriend
[Only use these if she’s already attracted to you. Otherwise I’ve found it’s too easy for a girl to regain control of the frame by sarcastically responding with something along the lines of “sure…in your dreams…you wish”]
-Are you cheating on me?
-We’re broken up. I want my CD’s back.
-You’re a terrible girlfriend. She’ll be my new girlfriend [point to someone else].
-You’ve been downgraded from booty call #1 to booty call #10
-It’s too early in our relationship for you to be bossing me around
-You’re sleeping on the couch tonight

Frame 5: She’s Acting Dumb
-You’re not a real blond, come on now
-So you’re a natural blond then?
-Brunettes have blond days too, huh?
-It’s a good thing you’re pretty, because once the looks go you’ll be in trouble
-Bartender, can you cut her off?
-I’m losing an IQ point a minute talking you
-You’re the pick of the litter, aren’t you?

Miscellaneous:
-This is why we can’t have nice things [if she spills]
-You hurt my elbow [if she bumps into you]
-Do your parents know where you? [if she’s unusually young]
-Nice shoes, are you 4 feet tall without them? Oh, I’m sorry, 4 foot 2?
-That’s so cool! Even if I wasn’t trying to get in your pants I’d still hang out with you. [if she has a similar hobby as you]

[Guest]

I tease and taunt pretty bad. Its just my style. These are all pretty good.

[Guest]

Ditto. All of the above are pretty good, I know I've said just about every one of them at some point before.

[Guest]

Cool thanks....I just used one of these on a text message.

[Guest]

-Tease them with nicknames, makes them feel special. Somebody a while back mentioned the nickname "Pumpkin Tits"! <------that's f'n hilarious, prolly shouldnt use it tho.

-Tease them with something they might be wearing. I met a girl online that was wearing these totally 80's sunglasses. They are the ones that have the round lenses like Ozzy Osborne wears. My opening line to her was: "So Rockin' Girl with the "Totally 80's" shades, do you always look that silly?

I all of the sudden became "Rockin' Boy" and she told me her friends always make fun of her for wearing those sunglasses. Then I told her if she'd give me her credit card #, the next time I was out and about I'd find her some "cooler" ones. Just keep laying on the funny, off the wall bull shit and it works.