What is the best solution???

[Guest]

I guess I am ultimately the one who needs to figure this out on my own, but I have NO CLUE what I want for myself. Sometimes it helps to write your thoughts out where others can see it.

[b]Option 1:[/b]
A friend of mine works it this way. He pursues a girl until he beds her and then he never calls her or pursues her again. The problem I have with this is, it's tough to find women who'll have you even once. I figure with my game, I might get laid 12 times per year doing this. The other problem is, first time sex with a new girl is usually not that good. Sex only gets better with the same person up to a point. Lastly, that leaves a bunch of shallow and hollow relationships with women. Not sure this is for me. On the plus side, no women get hurt doing this. They aren't attached.

[b]Option 2:[/b] Get a steady girlfriend and be exclusive with her. Yeah, somebody's gonna get hurt when you part ways, but it's not like you were misleading her or anything like that. The real problem is, I get this "fuck me" eyes from women everywhere I go. If I'm being exclusive with one girl, the AA has a PERFECT excuse to take root and blossom. Next thing you know, after just a few weeks of not approaching and talking to women you don't know, your "game" is completely gone.

[b]Option 3:[/b] Get a steady girlfriend and pull a Denise Rodman. Cheat like mad, deny, deny, deny. This keeps your game sharp, but I hate lying. As long as you get away with it, you get to continually search for upgrades and if you ever feel like you can get one, you dump the first girl and move to the upgrade. The real problem for me is Frame Control. The only people I struggle for frame control with were my wife and my parents. The reason is because I lied and lived lies around them. I'm convinced this is how you lose frame control. It stems from living a lie. This is what women do to us, but I don't think women struggle with frame control...for them, it's anon-issue. They don't feel guilt the way we do. I don't think they ever think in terms of unconditional loyalty unless they have a ring on their finger and even then, if you don't take really good care of them, they'll still cheat around.

[b]Option 4[/b] Multipe girlfriends at once. Avoid the exclusivity talk until they bring it up. I just got out of a situation where I had 3 girlfriends at one time. They pretty much left me all at once. For the last 3 weeks, I've been really sad and lonely. Recently met a new girl and now my mood is completely back where I want it. On paper, this sounds like the best solution. And I learned a lot about how to manage this situation and the obvious mistakes I made the last go around. Somewhere within woman-kind exists an acceptance for this. There are lots of cultures where this is normal. Mormon, for one. The problem is, US women are accustomed to not sharing their man and most won't tolerate it long term. Eventually, they're gonna dump you and it kinda sucks if they all leave at once and you have nothing else in play. But, at the same time, I never gave up my freedom. Another problem with this method is, you end up hurting women who don't deserve to be hurt. I thought it would be a good feeling, to get even with woman-kind. But it's not. It's just not cool at all.

[Guest]

Honestly man, you have to decide what YOU want. I cant make this decision for you, neither can anyone else on this board. You and you alone can decide this. Take some time alone with yourself and ask yourself some questions:

What do I want right now?
What do I want in the future?
Will what I'm doing right now, lead me towards what I want in the future?
What do I want, not "what I think I SHOULD want?"
Do the people I trust the most, support my decision?(seek wise councel)(its up to you in the end though)


As for me, right now I'm not at a place where Im ready to have a more long term, stable relationship. I do want to find an awesome girl, thats marriage material, and settle down with her. Thats my ultimate goal. I'm just not there yet.

Lately, I've been doing the FB thing. Both parties know it's not long term, so no one gets hurt. Being on the same page, is key in this.

[Guest]

You know I face the same questions you are asking your self Alpha! I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to do whats best for me but I'm also not going to hide my intentions!!! Be cautious how you say it, but let these girls know up front so you are both on the "same page" as you said. How do you know if you've truly found an awesome girl until you sample at least a couple hundred. :-) (*)(*) or (.)(.) or (o)(o)

[Guest]

Option 1: I'm not knocking this approach. You get some strange once a month...but umm you only get it once a month...And I agree with you 100% about hitting it multiple times with a girl the sex gets way better.

Option 2: There is nothing wrong with having a girlfriend. Hell do you know how many guys who get into the game would love just that opportunity. Clearly you have success with women. For all I know they are big fatties but that is besides the point. I don't know what you want long term. If you are wanting to get married again someday then I would say this has to be an option. If you are just wanting solid companionship this once again this still has to be an option. You will know if you want to take this path when the right girl walks into your life. Until then put this on the back burner for now.

Option 3: Unless you a complete cock sucker avoid this one. Living a life of lies just isn't worth it. Think Karma.

Option 4: Until you can pursue an OPTION 2 this is what I would go for. You have already gone this route. I know you probably had a good time doing it. I would keep doing this one. I say that because it is pretty much what I do. I am 100% straight forward with the girls. I tell each and everyone of them: I have no interest in a relationship. I have no interest in having a girlfriend right now. They aren't just FB's. We go out and spend time with each other. It is very hard to juggle more than 2 of these. Also understand that in doing this the girls are not stupid. They know you are out with other girls. Hell they will probably be asking you about it. Just know that the girls are not going to put up with this forever. You might be lucky to get a few months out of them. If they aren't good enough for option 2 just tell yourself ohh well and find a replacement when they leave. It sucks that all three left you at the same time. That sucks but just move onward and upward. Your replacements will be much better I'm sure. And I agree with you as well on hurting the girls. Yes they all get hurt. But you know what you are looking for Mrs Right to fill Option 2. I know it sucks that some really nice girls will get hurt along the way. That is how relationships work. Someone always get hurt until you find the right one and marry them and live happily ever after...well maybe...