"You better be ready to fuck when I get there"

[Guest]

2008 has been great for me so far. We are 9 days into the year and I have had 7 girls share my bed (including 1 fresh one who is a stripper), 2 dates and have 2 dates and 3 sleep overs lined up over the next 4 days. I have had two quiet nights because I got caught up into online Texas Hold 'Em games (which I am addicted to) and turned down a sex buddy for those nights.

That being said, I am in love. Yup, I have fallen for not one, but two different girls.

The first is my #1 and the source of the quote from headline of this post. We have a major personality connection, she is smart, she is driven, my family and friends love her and Capt Jack said she is in the top 3 of the hottest girls he has ever met. We have a couple of issues we are working through with one being that I am much more sexually experienced than her (but she is an eager student) however, we are talking about the future.

My #2 is an MLTR I have had for over two years. We fight like cats and dogs but have been going to counseling (which I recommend to everyone to help with inner issues) which has help bond us as we work on ourselves - together. I was dating her before I joined the community but with skills I have learned, now know how better to handle and relate to this wildcat. We have an AMAZING physical connection - consistently the best sex I have ever had. And oh, did I mention she is a previous Hooter's girl and a lingerie model? However, my family and friends don't like her as much as #1 (which is critical to me).

So, my dilema....do I continue to be a playa??? Or do I focus on my two girls and eventually choose one, settle down and have a family (which is my ultimate goal)?

Or, since I have met most, if not all of the goals I had when I joined the community two years ago and somewhat established myself, do I become a semi-professional PUA (I have had a couple of offers)? Or, as I have talked about many times with my usual wing, who is a PHD is psychology and ran a relationship counseling business for many, many years, do we start our own little side business to help guys focusing on the social arts more than the pick up arts?

Anyway, I feel I am at a cross road. Do I continue to plod along in the community, dating lots of women but never starting a family? Do I reduce my time or drop out of the community and focus on a relationship (or two)? Or do I drink the potion and go "all in", build a brand for myself and start teaching what I have learned in the community to others?

I have an idea of which direction I am going to head. But I am appreciate your comments while I make a decision...

My tendancy right now, as I am a perfectionist, is to give Pick Up one last, serious, major push to see if there is any one out there I might really want to meet and date. I would focus on the basics, reread all of the material I have purchased or been given, watch the pick up videos I have yet to watch and sarge hard core. And then, assuming I don't find anyone better, marry my #1 or #2 and live happily ever after.

What say you all?

[Guest]

What a nice dilemma to be in. Most of us here are more than likely envious me being at the top of the list.

It sounds like we are very similar. I got into the community for the exact same reason(who didn't). I wanted to meet/date many women and eventually find one to marry and start a family. It sounds like you have had 2 years of success. How in the world do you manage your time? That is my main prob right now.

1. Online poker is way addicting. I used to play full time. Because it is so addicting and it would get in the way of the real world I would on occasion(once a month I would literally lose my balance on purpose just so I could delete the game off my computer). This was the only way I could break away from the game. I would consistently win money playing and still did this just because I knew it was unhealthy. If you are making a lot of $$ from playing and can control how much you play then I would keep doing it. I was never successful enough to cover my crazy expenses.

2. Regarding becoming a professional PUA. I would say it all depends on your current occupation. If you are rolling in your current career making big money I would say NO. If this isn't the case then sure I would take a stab at it. Life at least to me is about taking chances and calculated risks. I have a feeling most PUA's don't really make very much money(after all expenses involved). Most prob didn't make very much before the VH1 show. Maybe now it is diff as everyone is wanting to learn. I kinda like the social arts aspect though. If you are referring to helping guys deal with day 2's and relationships in general once they get good at PU.

3. Do either one of the women you are dating want to settle down and get married? If so then you have a tough decision. I would think long term on which would be a better wife/mother. Which one shares the same values as you do on important issues in life. Then I would go ahead and pull the trigger. As you said that was your ultimate goal. Even if you do become a prof PUA she can be right by your side.

4. No women is perfect. Even if you sarge hardcore do you really think you will find someone better than #1 or #2. Do you take a risk of losing either if you choose this path?

5. Seriously how do you manage your time? It is my hardest thing to deal with right now and I am only 1 month into the game. I can't find a balance between, work/family/friends/FB's/dating/SARGING. I have no where near the amount of women you are turning and I am currently having major probs.

Goodluck

[Guest]

Hi Twitchy... still owe u that lunch.

I tend to agree with Player.

U are in a good profession, dont give that up. If u still love the game, why not get into teaching PUA part-time to start and see how u like it.

As for the two women... There are no perfect people, marriages, or lives. Be happy that you have a choice between two women you love.... a curse and a blessing.

Good luck and let me know when u start those PUA classes... :-)

[Guest]

Hmm.... teaching new guys is the best way to learn and progress your self.

As for the relationship side and such I have yet to meet you in person so i'm def not a good person to give you advice on that.

[Guest]

[quote="playercool"]What a nice dilemma to be in. Most of us here are more than likely envious me being at the top of the list.[/quote]

Trust me, I am not "tooting my own horn" here as they say where I grew up. I started a major self improvement effort in my early 20s after I graduated college and now I am in my mid 30s so this is over a decade of hard work finally paying off. There is nothing wrong with reaping the fruits of your labor....

That being said, it is a new year. I am not one to create resolutions but I like to use milestones as an evaluation point. I realized that I spend a lot of time on this board, my blog and a few other boards but am not really growing anymore in the seduction arts. And the time I am spending is not necessarily quality time where I am really working to improve myself or learn new techniques. It has become more of an entertainment thing for me.

Although there is absolutely nothing wrong with an entertainment escape, there are lots of other things I like to do that I could be spending more time on.

Plus, I have gathered masses and masses of pick up material which I haven't even begun to go through. It just sits collecting dust.

Hence my cross road. Do I pull away from pick up and focus on other areas of my life, including dedicated relationships? Or, since I have come this far, do I rededicate myself? I am not one to idly sit by......

[quote="playercool"]Online poker is way addicting.[/quote]
I am addicted, but it doesn't throw my life out of balance. I am actually pretty new to the game but have been playing in some real-life, underground tournaments and have been very successful so far. I am exploring if I am good enough or can get good enough to turn this more into an amateur hobby.

[quote="playercool"]Regarding becoming a professional PUA. I would say it all depends on your current occupation.[/quote]
I have a very successful career that I would not be willing to sacrifice but there is nothing stopping me from doing something part time. My only dilema is that if I want to, what do I do?

The big name companies all have issues in my book. For example:

- RSD has stagnated with Tyler traveling the world
- TMM has experienced instructors (several who are my friends) but is in a lawsuit with Mystery and if they lose, who knows what will happen to the company
- Venutian Arts is a new company started by Mystery and most of the instructors are relatively green as they had to start from scratch. I imagine there will be a backlash eventually as students tire of paying big $ to have someone who has only been in the community a short while teaching them pick up.

Or do I create my own thing?

My usual wing and I have been tossing around creating something on the side where we focus more on social arts vs. pick up arts. We reserved a few web addresses, created a high level plan and done a few other things. We both have very successful careers we don't want to impact but we also like to help others and who doesn't like extra income?

He ran a relationship and counseling business for many years, is trained in hypnosis, etc. and would be able to focus on a lot of internal things such as conflict resolution, self confidence, relationship strategies, etc. He is also the most fearless and outgoing person I know when it comes to approaching and meeting other people - men and women.

I could bring everything I have learned and accomplished to the table.

However, this is a lot of work starting a company and building a brand. And neither of us wants to charge a lot of money so would it really be worth my time once the novelty wore off?

[quote="playercool"]Do either one of the women you are dating want to settle down and get married?[/quote]
They both do. With me. And I want to be married and have kids before I am too old.

[quote="playercool"]No women is perfect. Even if you sarge hardcore do you really think you will find someone better than #1 or #2. Do you take a risk of losing either if you choose this path? [/quote]
I fully agree. No one is perfect. This definitely includes me which is why I am at this dilema. I haven't been to the counselor in quite a while but I probably need to continue working on a few things. And one of those things is that nothing is ever good enough/I am never satisfied.

I always want more - at work, with finances, in women. It causes me to be very driven and successful. But I am not sure how healthy it is when dealing with relationships.....

[quote="playercool"]Seriously how do you manage your time?[/quote]
I am the most organized person I know. It is the key to my success at everything.

Anyway, I am not sure where this post is going. I am just reflecting on where I am at, what my options are and what I should be doing with myself now that I have achieved what I set out to achieve in the community. It helps me to organize my thoughts when I have to write them down so other people can understand them.

[Guest]

To me happiness is the end goal of my life. It seems like the pursuit of maximum happiness is the natural result of any rational mind. Not everyone pursues their own happiness, of course...but if you do, here would be my advice to you.

Find out what you value--what people/things produce the emotions you want to experince. Take special care to not place too much emphsis on the pursuit of near term happiness, lest you end up like a hedeonist sacraficing long term happiness. Clearly this doesn't apply to you, but I always like to include it anytime I talk about pursuing one's own happiness, to stress the importance of the long term--of setting goals to achieve something you want later in life even at the expense of the short term.

Then plot out a path you think will lead you to be the most happy. Try to figure out with what degree of confidence you feel the chosen path will lead to your goal. Also factor in how difficult it will be to change paths if you realize things aren't turning out as you'd expect--

What I mean by this is, it would be far easier to go from professional PUA to married guy with family than from married guy with family to professional PUA. Also, there are always unexpected things that come up, so I'd be sure and choose a path that allows me to maintain freedom & felxiblity.

This is why I personaly am not a fan of marriage. I do not see the reason in it. If you want to be with a girl for the rest of your life, why not just do that, without burining the proverbial boat? As long as you want to be with her monogamously you can be. If you ever want to leave fo whatever reason, you can. This doesn't mean you're not committed to the relationship--in fact you can be more committed than most guys that are married, but you maintain the freedom to walk away should unexpected developments arise. She chould change into a bitch, after years you could grow weary of the constant fighting, the once awesome physical connections could fizzle into mundane intercourse after the passion slowly dies down, leaving you feeling an emotional void....and then you could meet some girl you feel an amazing emotional connection with--a connection you never thought possible because you'd never experinced it. This is always possible to anyone regardless of how strong they feel connections in past relationships were.

I would also point out that you are free to pursue relationships with both women. Polygamy, of course is illegal, but there are many people who practice [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory]polyamory[/url]. Of course there are considerations with this as well as with any decision, but if you feel you love both of those girls, and I assume you do, it seems like it would be worthwhile to consider pursuing a relationship, and family if that is what you desire, with both--both knowing of each other, obviously. There are cultures where this type of path would be the societal norm.

Westfall