Screening(Direction truly desired.)

[red]

I am just now getting into setting my syntax for the way I screen.

I am learning to go for the number much more often, much faster, and more intently.

I am leaning about how to define internally what is attracting me a particular woman, beyond her body.

I am also learning that I must calibrate with more precision.


I DESIRE direction in this topic. SCREENING.

Please take a little time, and share with me your thoughts.

[Bull Run]

I read a study once that discussed the discrepancies between what people say they want in a person and what they truly go for in a person. Scientists set up a speed dating event where all the subjects were asked to list their top 5 characteristic traits that they sought out in another individual. Then, each subject took a series of personality tests (not sure which ones) to objectively determine what characteristics they actually possessed. After that, the speed dating event was held. And each participant selected five individuals that they wanted to contact again in the future, rating each one by preference. As part of the selection process, each participant also relisted their top 5 characteristic traits that they sought in another individual. The researches then cross-referenced the new list (after the event) with the personality test results of their top three choices. What they found was that there was a strong correlation between the new list and the test results of their preferred choices. In other words, after the event each person went on to list the characteristics that described the people they preferred. Further, the old list and new lists were drastically different and altered. The implication is that people are very, very bad at describing what they want in another person but are very, very good at simply recognizing when they do like someone (even if they don't fully understand why). It's the idea that you don't know what you want until it's right in your face.

This is why I think creating a syntax or list of characteristics to look for is futile. I, for one, know that I've dated all kinds of different women with different traits and characteristics. Sitting down and saying I want this or that is a pointless exercise. Now, having said that, I do have a small list of things that I specifically look for in a woman but they're very generic traits. Nothing too specific. I look for feminine women that are submissive and sexual. That’s my list. Now, I have another list as well, one that’s easier to create that is more specific and that’s a list of things I don’t want or won’t tolerate. Knowing what you don’t want is easier than knowing what you do. Then again, that could just be me.

Regarding the number close, I always looked at the number close as the last step in the seduction process. As a matter of fact, there were several times that numbers weren’t exchanged until the next morning.

I’ve never been a fan of calibration. This is probably because I’m stubborn. I shouldn’t have to change who I am just to get your number because eventually the real me will come out. Plus anyways, I want them to conform to my reality so I have them calibrate to me, instead of the opposite. This has cost me a lot of sets, but it’s also meant that the sets I do close are more legitimate and fulfilling for me and her. And, it puts me in the position of power and dominance in the relationship. I want to be a man and I want her to be a woman. Adhering to our inate biological preferences will make both of us happier in the long run.

As for screening, that’s such a personal thing. My screening process runs the gauntlet of human behavior. Again, though, I’m looking to disqualify her more than qualify her or qualify myself. Disqualifying is easier and much more powerful for seduction. Further, there are some short cuts you can use while you’re in the midst of picking a girl up. But, they’re generally not very good because your interaction usually isn’t as deep and pervasive as it would be if you had an hour or two to actually talk, watch each other move, etc.

In general, my screening process goes something like this: 1) is she hot 2) does she laugh at my slightly perverted jokes 3) do we have some minimal shared taste in pop culture (music, films, etc.) 4) is she taking a more submissive, feminine approach to my attempt at seducing her. If the answer was yes to those four things, then I would be willing to meet up with her again. But, that’s hardly enough to make a decision about her beyond let’s do this again. The final thing I would look for is does she seem to be good in bed. A friend asked a buddy of mine that’s since retired from the community and me how we can tell if a girl is good in bed. We simultaneously answered: you can just tell. That last part is based on experience. My recommendation for you would be to just list out 3 or 4 requirements for you to spend time with here again. They need to be highly generic, the initial meeting isn’t the appropriate time and place to fully qualify her…that’s impossible. Instead, you need to make an educated guess on that short, generic list. It’s still a guess so you’ll be wrong on occasion, but you’ll find that you’ll be having day2s with women you enjoy more instead of just wasting your time.

The point is to keep the selection process simple. Think of it this way. The initial approach is your audition. The day2 is her audition. Whether or not she gets the part will be determined the next time you see her.

[red]

Thanks, I knew that I was trying to put too many words to the simple concept.

I just needed another man's take on it.

I am also stubborn, but being in the lower levels of experience, I choose to ask for some mentor ship.
I just found a few sets to be straining last night. Got into a slippery rythym last night. I was trying to calibrate. I was pinging off the people in the end of the night. I identified the main catalyst. I am amazed at how much I learn from each experience. Good or bad, there is a lesson.

[Bull Run]

Funny thing about gaining experience, you find yourself approaching far less than you did early on in your development because you learn better to size up women. You'll learn to cold read much, much more effectively and will start to see the number of sets you approach fall but the closing ratio of those sets rise at a greater rate than the reduction of approaches. You get more through doing less.

At this point, I don't think you should concern yourself too much with selection and screening. Just approach cute girls, some will pan out to be something you want, most won't. But, that's how you learn. Creating a list today won't, in fact it could very well 'box you into' certain traits. However, I do think it's crucial that you have a well thought out list of what you won't tolerate. It makes it easier to recognize bad behavior and helps you to act accordingly (walk away, next, retract affection/attention, etc.). That'll serve you better right now.

[continuum]

Cool thread ....

I've learnt to do for the number / facebook in every set. Just to get used to it like your are just asking her name. It's routine.

As for screening:
1. have you heard of the binary rating system. Either 0 or 1. Do you want to sleep with her or not? Could you do it? If yes. She has passed screening.
2. Logistics. where does she live, who is she there with, near your work, college, home etc?

As for all the complications of "is she right for me?" your subconscious and body are way better at working that stuff out than a formula or syntax.

Go for the close everytime, touch her up and escalate every time. Sometimes it will feel right. sometimes it wont. Every now and then someone works out. You gotta buy a ticket to win.

Screening = If I like her and she likes me ... it is on!