Eating Lunch solo

[Rawwwrr!]

Today I got my hair cut in a popular spot in Dallas. I decided afterwards to go to a popular bar that I frequent on the weekends and see what happens. I figure why not, it beats sitting at home.

So I go to this bar that is pretty dead in the day, it is about 3 pm. I see two girl sitting at the bar and that is it. I sit at the bar, with one chair separating me and the girls. (would it have been weird for me to sit right next to them when the whole bar is open?) I order a sandwich and a beer. I start talking to the bar tender and getting to know him, when we aren't taking I am reading articles on my phone. After I get my food I open the girls by saying what is that, the sampler platter? It looks like they threw everything from the kitchen on there. They said no, it is a cheese sampler. And they mentioned a couple different cheeses and the bar tender threw some cheese info out there as well. I said I liked pepper jack and when I go to the store, I just pick some cheese out from the dairy isle, I'm not too picky when it comes to my cheese. The girls laughed and said some cheese fact and went back to talking to each other. I
engaged the bar tender in the mean time. After a few min they got their food to go and left.

I sat there for a bit, no one there but me and the bartender. We talked about our jobs and school and whatnot. He said he works weekends there as well, so I'm thinking it would be smart to get to know this guy.

A couple old guys come in and sit down. I turn and talk to this girl that just sat a few chairs down to my left. She works there but is there early. She is drinking out of an ocean spray bottle and I comment on it. "are you really drinking that juice straight from the bottle?" She laughs and says the bar keep just gave it to her, it was left over. After wards I go back to alternating between the bar tender and my phone articles. Some old guy comes and sits next to me, I make small talk about his blackberry, but he seems a bit anti social.

At this point I look around and realize there are a bunch of people at the bar now, but none of them are women. So I close my tab out and leave.

What could I have done differently here? If I am sitting at the bar and I open the girls sitting next to me, I shouldn't stack like I would in a bar at night time right? It just seems a bit odd for me to keep talking and talking at that point. It seems like I would be better off to jump in here and there. But if that is the case, that begs the question, how do i hook that set?

Also, when you go out to a place like this in the day by yourself, are you better off to sit at the bar, or grab a table somewhere? It seem like the bar would be a lot more social.

[Tribulus1000]

Today I got my hair cut in a popular spot in Dallas. I decided afterwards to go to a popular bar that I frequent on the weekends and see what happens. I figure why not, it beats sitting at home.

So I go to this bar that is pretty dead in the day, it is about 3 pm. I see two girl sitting at the bar and that is it. I sit at the bar, with one chair separating me and the girls. (would it have been weird for me to sit right next to them when the whole bar is open?) I order a sandwich and a beer. I start talking to the bar tender and getting to know him, when we aren't taking I am reading articles on my phone. After I get my food I open the girls by saying what is that, the sampler platter? It looks like they threw everything from the kitchen on there. They said no, it is a cheese sampler. And they mentioned a couple different cheeses and the bar tender threw some cheese info out there as well. I said I liked pepper jack and when I go to the store, I just pick some cheese out from the dairy isle, I'm not too picky when it comes to my cheese. The girls laughed and said some cheese fact and went back to talking to each other. I
engaged the bar tender in the mean time. After a few min they got their food to go and left.

I sat there for a bit, no one there but me and the bartender. We talked about our jobs and school and whatnot. He said he works weekends there as well, so I'm thinking it would be smart to get to know this guy.

A couple old guys come in and sit down. I turn and talk to this girl that just sat a few chairs down to my left. She works there but is there early. She is drinking out of an ocean spray bottle and I comment on it. "are you really drinking that juice straight from the bottle?" She laughs and says the bar keep just gave it to her, it was left over. After wards I go back to alternating between the bar tender and my phone articles. Some old guy comes and sits next to me, I make small talk about his blackberry, but he seems a bit anti social.

At this point I look around and realize there are a bunch of people at the bar now, but none of them are women. So I close my tab out and leave.

What could I have done differently here? If I am sitting at the bar and I open the girls sitting next to me, I shouldn't stack like I would in a bar at night time right? It just seems a bit odd for me to keep talking and talking at that point. It seems like I would be better off to jump in here and there. But if that is the case, that begs the question, how do i hook that set?

Also, when you go out to a place like this in the day by yourself, are you better off to sit at the bar, or grab a table somewhere? It seem like the bar would be a lot more social.

I think it was fine.

Definitely get to know the bartender. Seems like a good guy to know. You can use him as a name dropper / opener. "You guys know Dave?" or whatever.

I have this problem from time to time myself. Its actually quite common. Its called #Closing or getting the digits.

Look, you can be a flash game player, you can look cool, you can have tons of friends and still not get with girls because you don't have the contact info.
I used to go out and Rockstar would scold me for not doing this. You gotta get the numbers.

And if you read any of the material out there, alot of Gurus talk about everything BUT the number closes. They downplay them or they assume its easy for everyone.
Guys like Mystery will write stuff like "a number is a stairway to nowhere." That's true some of the time. Flakes happen.
But look at a guy like Paul Janka who perfected the 90 second number close and does daygame in NYC. That guy makes number closes his bread and butter. I recommend his stuff by the way, especially for daygame. I'm not an affiliate. I just like it.

#Closing is not emphasized enough. You hear stuff like "the only close is an f-close." ok fine. Whatever. Getting the number is a step along the path. But its a critical one.
If you're doing bar game and the girl comes there alot, ok, maybe getting the number isn't critical. Or if you're on the college scene and you see the same chicks in class everyday. Ok.
In a daygame scenario, with unknown women, getting the number is as important as approaching because if you don't, there is a slim chance you will ever see her again.

Hope that helps.

p.s. One more thing....and I know I am long winded....
Whenever you pull up to sit next or near someone always ask "Is this seat taken?" Its polite and shows you have manners, also its easy to flow straight into an opener after that. "You know Bob the bartender? This guy benches 450 pounds!! and dances the macarena"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfhTKx43ezU&feature=related
In a bar at night, this is not needed because there are so many people. No one asks "Hey can I sit here, is this seat taken?".
In the daytime, its different. Asking "Is this seat taken?" is a great way to break the ice if you're in a bar/restaurant/coffee shop/bookstore. Otherwise, strangers usually ignore one another. Its also a space invasion and people are territorial.
I've wandered up and sat next to a girl and she never even acknowleges me, I'm a stranger. She won't turn to face me otherwise.
You can use rapport assumption and pacing - leading in the day too. If you see some girl staring out a window, you can throw out something like "Are they following you too?" (play act paranoid) or "Its a really beautiful day."

[ninjamatt]

I think you did pretty well other than possibly getting a number of the first set. I would treat it like, I'm not interested in fucking them , but possibly being friends unless they were eye-sores. Another thing is, don't leave a place b/c there's nothing but dudes especially in the scenario you've described . If you could make friends with one or 2 of them, you are on your way to meeting more women. One thing I've learned is you meet more bar women through having guy friends around you.

[CasperKid]

Dude you have to put these interactions in the context of goals.

First figure out what you want in a woman.
Then approach these conversations from the frame of screening the girls to see if they are even WORTH getting to know.

You are so money. You are the prize.

If you are attracted to the girls then find out more about them, I'm sure they pass the first thing 99% of guys want in a woman (good looks) if you are even thinking about getting a number.

In regards to your situation, it's 3pm and you're at a bar. You see two girls who are probably bored if they are chillin together at 3pm eating cheese.

Nice move not sitting next to them and not opening them directly. Also, extremely smart to open the bartender and check out news on your phone. What you can do with that approach is find a cool article on your newsfeed and ask the bartender if he heard about it. Then if he says yes, ask his opinion about something. Then NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS **DISAGREE**(or be like "hmm.. i dont know...), so that you can turn to the girls and ask "what do you think?"

Anyway, what you did worked just as well. They were open to your advances and even laughed at your cheese story (thats a pretty big IOI). You had built social proof by talking to the bar tender and non-neediness by waiting to open them. Since the frame was set up that way, you have to proceed accordingly. I like how you started talking about cheese, you can transition that story into how you cook cheese and then as you talk about cooking, interupt yourself and be like "wait, can one of you cook?" If one (or both) says yes, they #1 jumped through your loop and #2 qualified themselves to you. I love girls that can cook, so I am instantly more in to them after.

#closing isnt so great, unless that's your goal right now.

My goal is to get laid, so #s don't mean much honestly. Texting is fun and its the next logical step or whatever, but lets be real. C'mon...

Overall man you have locked down a good point man (the bartender) for whenever you go back.

As far as #closing in the future, set up a reason to day 2 and THEN ask for it because you need eachothers contact info to make sure it still happens.

Also, the best way to overcome the friend zone is Statements of Intent. Tell her you are attracted to her and her sense of style or whatever else. Verbally remove yourself from that picture in her mind before you #close. She needs to know that this is a date. That you two are meeting up to potentially have sex.

~CK