Approach Anxiety

[Omni26]

So...today I was doing some last-minute shopping at Border's Books. Hot woman (HB8 I would say) in front of me in the long checkout line. We exchanged smiles...but that was it! I found myself being hit with a major wave of approach anxiety. Basically, I blew it. In retrospect, it really wasn't an "anxious" feeling, but more of a massive over-analysis of the moment.

Anyway, I know this is a common reaction, but I hate it. I was relaxed, I could have easily carried a conversation with her, but some of the first thoughts running through my brain at the time were: "well, there are people in front of her and behind me in this line....what will they think if I use an opener on this woman? If they hear me talk to her, will they think I'm trying to pick her up? And if I think they see what I'm doing here, then I won't be on top of my game! If I do start talking to her, what is the next step after we both pay for our stuff, etc.? Do I wait for her, etc.?" In the end, I overanalyzed it and missed my chance!

I would be curious to hear anyone's tips for avoiding situations like this and moving in with a successful approach instead of what happened to me!

[Lucky9]

AA is actually very easy to overcome...All you need to do is talk to more women. This is a common reaction for most people but the more women you talk to and the more often you talk to them you will find out the easier everything will get and how AA completely leaves your system.

What happened in your situation?
1. First thing I noticed when reading is your right, you completely over-analyzed the situation
2. You didnt feel comfortable with people around you and got scared of what everyone else thinks (a small insecurity)
3. Unfortunately the 3-second rule was not used which would have been best used in this situation

Solution
1. Talk to more women and do it in similar situations to build more of a comfort level/Confidence and rid AA
2. UTILIZE the 3-second rule
3. Dont care what anyone thinks just talk, your never going to see any of them again anyways and if you do you probably wont remember them
4. Think of it as talking to her not sarging and it will come easier (cant lose what you dont have so...if it all goes to hell in that short 30 seconds to a minute at least you tried but no loss)


Hope this helps man...not a big deal easy to overcome

[Omni26]

Good advice.....thanks, Lucky9!

-Omni

[Gamble]

Yeah, like Lucky touched on earlier, it looks to me like you are putting too much emphasis on what other people think of you. I go out with the attitude that I don't give a shit what people think about me or what I do. If I make a big enough impact on their lives that they actually remember me then I hope they learned something from me. Just don't worry about it man.

Gamble

[Scoundrel]

To beat AA, stop thinking an start doing. You have to train yourself to open a woman before you think about it.

[Omni26]

You are correct, Scoundrel.....this is what I (and probably most guys) need to work on for sure.