Why am I so compelled to compliment beauty???

[zine]

do you realize how much work women put into themselves to look good? They spend 4 hours just getting ready to go out to the store. I don't know about you guys, but I think that effort deserves some sort of reward. I feel that especially when a girl goes out of her way to look cute for me that that is sexy, and I will not deny my attraction for them. If you don't reward the effort they put into themselves then why should they even continue putting that effort into themselves for you?

I definitely believe in not complimenting. It shows YOUR weakness...YOUR vulnerability to their beauty. It immediately gives them the upper hand. I DO try to refer to women as "cutie" because it's harmless. PLUS, Women aren't used to being called that. Think about it.

I agree that supplication is bad, but a genuine compliment, that is good. Say a girl has a really hot ass though and she catches you looking at it and says what are you looking at? Wouldn't looking away and denying your attraction be the afc thing to do? I know I wouldn't. I know I would just say Wow, haha I can't stop looking at your ass you gotta stop moving it all sexy like that. She would probably shake it more. Who's got the upper hand here?

Far as I'm concerned, saying she's (sexy, beautiful, nice eyes, etc) is stupid. Everything to lose and nothing to gain, so why say it? Why put her on a pedestal? Saying she's hot is similar to buying flowers, in my opinion. I think they interpret it that way.

Once again supplication is afc, but genuine compliments are not. Are you too cool to make a girl feel good about herself, and the effort she's put into herself? What do have to gain from them? Let's see they wear more sexy outfits. They feel more relaxed with their bodies around me. It's funny even the hottest girls are insecure about some parts of their body. It makes her more willing to surrender herself fully and completely in the bedroom which means totally awesome sex. I really like gaining totally awesome sex.

Yeah its "It" vs. "You".

Try to use the word "You". Its very subtle.

Girls and people in general want to be appreciated for who they are.
A friend once told me "No girl wants to be your sperm bucket."

I can also assure you that showing interest and being who you are is fine. You have to be confident and funny and a little creative. But showing interest is great.

Tell a girl she has a wonderful smile. When she smiles more, tell her its even prettier the more she does it.

I wouldn't give up on the girl you spoke about above. Call her and see what she's up to.
Make it personal.

We like to believe that this game is all about technique and tactics but it cannot replace our humanity.

I agree trib. I think every guy I've seen in the community goes through phases. At first he shows too much interest and supplicates, then he doesn't show enough, and eventually he achieves an intution of when it's appropriate and when its not. Good stuff man.

[DogStar]

zine,

I totally disagree. You should not compliment a target, especially if it's a HB. HBs hear that ALL THE TIME from every other AFC. They KNOW they look good. PUAs do the opposite...they stand out because they are unique. Trust me, if you don't compliment, often times they will start fishing for a compliment...almost to the point of begging for it, which opens opportunities for negs or cocky/funny. Backhanded compliments are ok, but save the real thing for day two and/or dates.

[Finesse]

zine,

I totally disagree. You should not compliment a target, especially if it's a HB. HBs hear that ALL THE TIME from every other AFC. They KNOW they look good. PUAs do the opposite...they stand out because they are unique. Trust me, if you don't compliment, often times they will start fishing for a compliment...almost to the point of begging for it, which opens opportunities for negs or cocky/funny. Backhanded compliments are ok, but save the real thing for day two and/or dates.

And we now know what phase you are in.

Compliments are ok, and they are actually a good thing at times.

You won't understand this probably for sometime yet, but compliments can be used for good. Before the Game we all used them, and when we did, and geniunely ment them, it made some women feel special. The reason they worked at doing so was because they were on your terms, not hers, for one, and for two because they were actually geniune.

This is part of the problem I mentioned in my Rant I just posted about "Alphaness".

I was with my girl one time and we were sitting there, I was on the computer, and she was reading. I looked over at her and said she was beautiful. She got a big shit-eatin ass grin on her face and burst into tears.

Appearantly she needed to hear that at that moment because she wasn't feeling particularly pretty at the moment.

The difference being I already had attraction and a massive amount of comfort. It didn't matter that I complimented her.

I personally don't say a fuck shit all about her looks. Not to say I shouldn't because I can recall one chick pissin down her leg about it, but other than that I never do. Except in LTR status, but I'm still not like OH BABY oh baby your so hot. Just because your are in LTR status dosent mean she suddenly is someone different.

On the flip side during arguments I might throw something out like "You so used to tool guys around because your decent looking"

When you get the urge to say something so sweet go ahead and the energy else where, like look at her hair and go bzzzzzzzzzz bu bu bzzzzzz.

But hey do what works for you bro,

-PicturePerfect

Just like he said. There are certain times for a "deep" compliment.

[Dragon]

....she finally got me to meet her out for drinks, I sent her a text message that read "Hey gorgeous, blah, blah, blah."

She stood me up on a D2 that Friday night and we haven't spoken since. That was like 2 weeks ago.....

HAHA!!!
I see three possibilites:

1) It was the "Gorgeous" Comment.

2) It was the rest of the"Blah, Blah, Blah" or the meeting out for drinks. It could be your game during the drinks... maybe it was bad breathe or attitude. ie you hating women. or seemingly needy again. or she tagged you as a player.

3) An external factor: she didn't get the text msg. Family member died. She was seeing someone else. She is gay now.

All I am saying it could be much more that just a greeting.

[Alphagame]

Imager,

I don't know exactly what caused the fall out with this one, but I'm not too worried about it. What I do know is, I'm not complimenting beauty again, ever. There's nothing to gain from it.

I'll do the "You have a nice smile" or "Your voice is always so upbeat, it makes me feel good when I talk to you", or "Your ass looks good/hot in those jeans" or "Did you do something to your hair? It looks really good today." That kind of shit AFTER I've banged them. But as for saying "you are so hot" or "You are so beautiful", especially when I'm fucking them, I feel COMPELLED to say this shit but I think it's a BAD BAD BAD idea.

I think you are cute. I think you are precious. I think you are adorable. ---Yes

I think you are hot. I think you are gorgeous. You have great eyes. ---No

[TopDog]

I made the decision a few weeks ago. After blowing it with a chick who was chasing me hard for a month solid, I figured out what I did wrong. After she finally got me to meet her out for drinks, I sent her a text message that read "Hey gorgeous, blah, blah, blah."

She stood me up on a D2 that Friday night and we haven't spoken since. That was like 2 weeks ago.

Anyway, after I realized how I blew it, I vowed to NEVER compliment a woman on her beauty again...ever.

Maybe it's just that I can't think of anything better to say when we're in bed or what, but I feel VERY compelled, almost like instinct or something, to compliment women for their beauty. Especially during foreplay and sex.

Why am I struggling with this so much? Does anyone else struggle with this issue???

Honestly, i doubt that ONE word in your text blew you out, it was probably some combination before that.

but beyond that, what is this complimenting beauty IN BED?...that's like 1950's romance novel/Hollywood BS that's been mentally conditioned. Are you stroking her hair and staring into her eyes at the same time?! Anyways, you are ALREADY NAKED --IN BED. STOP. No we don't all struggle with this!

[Smirks]

To summarize the thread:

You CAN compliment beauty, but do it in a creative way, and don't do it too freakin' soon.

[Lion]

I never compliment a womans beauty before I close her. I will generally compliment her on her personality, or energy but never the physical.

That being said, there are some perfect moments to compliment her on something physical (eyes, ass, smile etc..), usually lying naked in bed. Sometimes a little sincerity will get you a long ways. And I never just say "you're so beautiful", I will throw in something that is unique to them like "You're so beautiful, even in the dark your eyes light up the room". But I only say it after we have had sex mulitiple times and only if I truly mean it. Women aren't stupid, they can tell when you give them a line and when you give them something sincere. If you never compliment her beauty, and then out of the blue you give her something meaningful she will appreciate it more than you think. Just don't do it too often!

I usually save this stuff for the long-term girls. I never compliment fb's on beauty.

[PicturePerfect]

To summarize the thread:

You CAN compliment beauty, but do it in a creative way, and don't do it too freakin' soon.

Sometimes it takes two pages