Craig from DYD once said that “It’s Always On.” My thoughts on this (why it is true) is that it’s due to the non-committal – but necessary – behavior on the part of the woman during the courtship.
While gaming, whenever escalation is possible, continue escalating AS A RULE. Ignore her non-committal behavior; she WILL act non-committal in order to handle her own Anti-Slut Defense. She has to do this (explained below.) Just persist in a non-needy way. As long as she is giving passive indicators of interest (IOIs) – for example she doesn’t make moves, but she still hangs around and waits for you to do something.
Women will act non-committal due to their need for plausible deniability (a.k.a Anti-Slut Defense), but subject to appropriate gaming they will continue to display passive IOIs such as allowing the gaming to continue, and allowing escalation (but acting like it’s weird in order to avoid responsibility for what is happening.)
Have you ever been gaming a girl, and she has a weird smile on her face, with her eyebrows up, like she thinks you’re being weird? But at the same time, she continues to show passive IOIs. And also she doesn’t contribute that much, forcing you to carry most of the interaction. But she goes along with it. Players can miscalibrate this because of her weird look and her non-investment, they decide that she is being “a bitch” and they say “whatever fuck it then, I don’t care” when they actually could have kept plowing and got the girl.
This is interesting because Anti-Slut Defense thus predicts the necessity of persistence. Notice that plowing is also the accepted solution to token resistance, which is itself merely a more energetic form of this same passive IOI mechanism. Thus Token Resistance can be interpreted as an IOI. If she begins to feel slutty, if she feels it necessary to avoid responsibility for what she is feeling, and she telegraphs this feeling via token resistance behavior, can’t we then take it as an indicator of interest?
Girls also use predictive resistance. For example, why do girls suddenly blurt out things like: “I hope you know we’re not having sex tonight.”
Why would she say this unless she is feeling Anti-Slut Defense (ASD)? And if I am not currently escalating, why does she feel ASD? Where are those feelings coming from? Because she is getting turned on and thus feels the need to avoid responsibility for it. This is how ASD gets activated. This is also WHY we have traditionally known that predictive resistance is actually an IOI from the girl. Girls don’t say “I’m not sleeping with you tonight” to beggars on the street. They say it to hot guys when they are sitting on their couch together watching a movie.
This is one reason why false disqualifiers work…because they eliminate her need to avoid responsibility and thus they DEACTIVATE ASD.
The key here is to be yourself, have fun, and PERSIST. Don’t make her feel responsible for what is happening.
Formula: Due to the previously discussed “a girl will act like you are weird but still give you passive IOIs” mechanism, do this: Smile (relaxed, no big deal, being myself, unreactive) while persisting, and using positive misinterpretation. Just view everything through the most positive frame possible.
This still gives room for routines (such as an opening stack) and calibration (such as negs and kino plowing.)
Everything else still applies…use Demonstrations of Higher Value, use False Disqualifiers, Escalate Physically, Qualify the Target, etc.
Now let’s take a step deeper…
Often we can violate social norms in the field, for the sake of practice or experimentation, and this is part of the learning process. In fact this is important for learning more about how social interaction really works, and we must feel dispassionate while practicing and experimenting. We think of it like a video game.
But in the long term, we still must be aware of social norms and how they affect our game - we have to “surf the wave” and think intelligently about how to exploit these mechanisms, and not hide behind an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. This becomes especially relevant when you begin to focus more on social circle game and less on cold approach game.
When someone enters your set, and is nice to you, without making social errors, then you are a social violator if you are rude or cruel to him. If his frame is really weak, then he will still lose. The strongest frame always wins. But if he has a strong frame and is unreactive, then he will win, since YOU are the one who is in violation. You are the one who was being rude.
Conversely, if you go into someone else’s set, and you are nice, without making social errors, then the set is under a certain social obligation to show basic politeness. I’m not saying everyone will obey their basic social obligations. But there is definitely something here that you can play around with in the field. As long as you aren’t a violator, then you can just plow.
Why is this important? Because this ethical rule seems to be in operation socially, whether people see it or not. And because there is power to be derived: There is no longer any social obligation to be polite once someone has become a violator. If you enter a guy’s set politely, and the guy starts rudely AMOGing you without provocation, then he is a violator and you can now just ignore him like he’s not there. The more he reacts after that, the more his value drops while yours goes up. You couldn’t have previously done this if he hadn’t been rude - since that would have turned YOU into a violator.
There has been an important question related to AMOG tactics for a while now. The question is, if I am AMOGing the guy, aren’t I becoming more and more reactive to him, thus giving him power? AMOG lines are cool, but isn’t it true that “less is more”, and ultimately the person trying harder will lose even if his lines are better?
Calibration is important:
— You can just AMOG him. You MUST calibrate that he will knuckle under your frame before you attempt this. You must have the stronger frame.
— If you miscalibrate and he retains a strong frame and positive attitude, then he wins. You are now in violation and he can ignore you.
— Therefore, instead of attacking him, you should BAIT him to try to AMOG you. If he does, he is now a violator and you can ignore him. Most people will fall for this, this is why classical AMOG theory works. This is the mechanism being exploited. If he doesn’t take the bait, you are still in the game since you only baited and you never actually violated. But you lost a little “social energy”. Watch out - the more obvious it becomes that you are baiting him, the more you are REACTING to him. The less he takes the bait, the more YOU are becoming REACTIVE to HIM.
Thus my interest in the ability to bait people into making social errors. People will often hang themselves without your help. Other people need some rope. If I can bait someone into violating, then the rules now apply: I can ignore the person without become a violator myself. My value will continue to rise and his will continue to drop. This will also generate attraction in nearby females. Useful?