by 1alpha » Tue Feb 02, 2010 9:45 am
Hello future and current PUAs I'm 1Alpha. Let me tell you, in length, who I am and mostly how I got to be me, with this story. I am turning 20 in a few days and have been living in Rockwall, 30 min east of Dallas, most of my life. It is a very small county that is known for how fast it is growing and its money. I am currently living with my mother, and only her, because she divorced my father before I was born. I grew up, my entire, life without knowing my father nor have a male remodel in his place. I believe, growing up I did a good job of ignoring my mother’s feminine ways and observing men. I did have a disadvantage in elementary school but as I got older I found it easier and easier to be comfortable with my masculinity. I was never at all a ladies man, but a hopeless romantic with a lot of “Oneitis”, until I moved to Fort Worth in 8th grade. I decided then to create an alter ego and covey to the other students that I was cool at my other school. It worked for the most part, but I got all of my inner game from a natural Casonava that moved their when I did. It didn’t take him long to rule the school with me following behind him, studying his every move. I never asked him questions, but just observed. Sadly I had to move back to Rockwall, but with me came my new alter ego. I decided to become him. Believe me this was very hard to do because I knew it would be hard for everyone to accept this new me. In fact the first day of school no one even slightly recognized me but instead envied my confidence. I still remember when the teachers called out my name and every student in every class looked to me in complete shock. The guys with jealous /angry/ “who does he think he is” looks on their face. The girls flushed/omg/ “I want him looks. In fact the girls were so hot that the 3rd day I was there a cute 7th grade girl came up to me and said “Your hot!, yada yada bla bla., Do you want to go to the bathroom and let me suck your dick.” But this where the, reason I looked for the community, came in. I freaked out. I said “No.” I got so nervous that I stayed in my comfort zone and continued play hard to get. This was because I had only observed my role model, and never asked how he handled something like this. And also I had never even kissed a girl let alone let her kiss my junk. Well this made her want me even more along with all the other girls in school. There were even roomers about me being gay. I just always stayed in my comfort zone. I was literally too hard to get. Eventually they stopped trying and I was just the quiet cool kid in class for the next to years. The reason I didn’t escalate anything was because I was scared these girls expected me to fuck like a Rockstar by the way I presented my self. But as the years went on I was falling farther and farther behind, along with my social skills, all the other guys. Around 10th grade I gave my self the biggest gilt trip because I felt like a pussy, trying to be something I wasn’t. So I completely changed my appearance and body language to that of someone who just didn’t care. Well that was an embarrassing time in my life in that I got absolutely no attention from the girls and now their was the roomer that I had gotten into drugs bad and was now fried. It wasn’t until 12th grade that I realized that I should go back to my other alter ego but make it my own. This was when I got my first Girlfriend. Sadly she was not near as hot as the girls that wanted me before but I considered her practice. Obviously I still wasn’t doing this right because she cheated on me. I spent the next year still looking and acting cool but could not figure out how to close a girl. That’s when I decided I needed the hugest confidence boost of them all; I need to seduce my 26 yr old, HB 9 boss of three years. This is when I began to search the web for hours, and found the community. I mainly looked at inner game and kiss closes, as I needed to hurry because she was single and horny. If I didn’t act quickly she would be seduced quickly by any minor Casanova that came her way. So I acted on a whim and asked her to the movies. She agreed but I could tell that she looked at as if we were just friends hanging out. Well I arrived dressed to impress and nervous as hell. I remember being sick to my stomach but I kept my cool. When I saw her she was completely shocked at my style and body language. I could tell she was trying to hold back attraction thoughts of me. Yal need to remember she was my boss and what was soon going to happen was defiantly against the rules. Well we went to the movies, and with my new expectations and knowledge, I now relies it was a horrible date. When we got to her house I asked if she wanted to walk around the block and talk before she went inside. While walking I was so nervous that I just let her do the talking while I played hard to get. So we got to the front of her house and I ran a kiss close routine that I saw on you tube, whilst nearly shitting a brick. I thought it was awkward but apparently she thought the opposite. She just sat their Doggy diner bowl, tomato red faced. I think 5 min past of us not saying anything until she said “So” me “I am just caught up in the moment” her “ do you want to go inside and get some water. It’s Hot. This is when I knew I had her were I wanted her and lost most of my nervousness. So we went in and I asked if I could use the restroom. I don’t know what came over me but I had the greatest inner game in the world all of sodden. I took of my shirt and walked out and said “your right it is hot out there” That when her flushed face turned up 1000 time and she began to shiver. I can tell yal what happened between her and me if you want but I feel this intro is getting to long. So long story short I F-closed her that day and a hand full to come. But I fucked up somewhere and she lost interest in me. The reason I told the story about my boss is because I feel as if I may be taking backward steps in gaming girls since she left me. The more I use the neg technique on girls the more they hate me. Before I seduced my boss I would kill her, and every girl I met, with kindness. This was done by me with a hint of sarcasm on my face. Telling them how beautiful they look today. I remember this always made the girls blush. All the girls I work with, along with my boss, agreed I had this ultimate confidence about me. Now they all think I am a jerk. I have been studying Mystery Method, nlp, and read half of The Game, for about a month now and have come across this site. Let me know what you think about my view on the neg theory and my old technique. Also you might want to know I am a student and go to Starbucks every day to do school work online. I am really excited about The Game and am ready to commit to it. I am also looking forward to interacting with all of you. I really want to go sarging soon but warn you that I have very little in field experience with the mystery method. I tried to get a good friend of mine to go to the club and wing me and he went but wasn’t committed to the method. I am a cool honest guy you can trust that will have your back if you have mine and I expect the same from my small close nit group of friends. From what I am learning about the community you are the kind of guys I enjoy hanging out with. Just to let you know I work Friday through Sunday until 8pm but am then free to go Sarging. I am excited to hear back from all of you and see a bright future ahead. Thanks for reading.
Attraction Is Not A Choice