Old guy new to PUA

[phathack]

Hi guys,

Spent too many years desk bound as a middle manager with a local company and it shows.
Got lots of things to do before I get where I want to be, like loose a lot of weight and get into shape physicaly to play the game.

I Recently kicked a old girlfriend out of the house.
Its a long story how she was living here rent free.

Over the years I have tried the various singles groups, I found them boring and unattractive, these people are single for obvious reasons. I'm doing me best to not be one of that group any more.

Been working through the Mystery and DeAngelo books and videos for a while and just getting started working on my game. I now know if there was a mistake you could make I have made them all, never again.

Found this group while surfing probably something from cliffs list but I'm not sure which one...

[Scoundrel]

Welcome. It sounds like you are on the right track with Mystery and David D. All good stuff.

[Mojo]

Got lots of things to do before I get where I want to be, like loose a lot of weight and get into shape physicaly to play the game.

Hey, check out http://www.caloriecount.com. I'm using the site myself. Anyway, welcome to the board. Look forward to seeing you out at one of the sarge meets.

[Satyr]

Got lots of things to do before I get where I want to be, like loose a lot of weight and get into shape physicaly to play the game.

I can't tell you how important this aspect is to PUA. Too often, I've seen guys roll into the Community with some serious physical shortcomings (poorly groomed, overweight, etc) and think that they'll be able to pull hotties because they run a few lines and implement a few tactics. WRONG!!! It just doesn't work that way. Life is not like King of Queens...

Hit the gym, watch your diet, you'll look better, you'll feel better, you'll boost your confidence, and you'll attract more women. Biologically speaking, women are attracted to healthy looking men so that their offspring will be healthy as well. Plus anyways, women like muscles...trust me.

If you're looking for a good guide to looking better, being more attractive to women, and how to get there, check out Built For Show. Great read on sculpting your body to attract women.

[Scoundrel]

Don't let anything stop you from going out and working on your skills. Don't even worry about being heavy. I've known several very good naturals that carried more than a few extra pounds and they didi just fine. Better than most in fact.

I'm almost 48 and I have rotting teeth do you think that stops me from nailing strippers? It doesn't. In fact, I'm seeing one tonight.

Sure, there will be some chicks that don't want to date a fat guy. But there are also some guys that only date blonds. If you can get past it, they won't even notice it.

[Satyr]

Don't let anything stop you from going out and working on your skills. Don't even worry about being heavy. I've known several very good naturals that carried more than a few extra pounds and they didi just fine. Better than most in fact.

I'm almost 48 and I have rotting teeth do you think that stops me from nailing strippers? It doesn't. In fact, I'm seeing one tonight.

Sure, there will be some chicks that don't want to date a fat guy. But there are also some guys that only date blonds. If you can get past it, they won't even notice it.

I don't disagree. But, since phathack mentioned being overweight, I would guess that this is a source of insecurity in his life. And, as we all know, in order to be any good at this you cannot have a lot of insecurities in your life. Since, it's a source of insecurity, I would recommend that he at least get on the track to fixing the problem. Sometimes, just doing something to fix it is all you need to feel better about the issue at hand.

[Scoundrel]

I didn't say don't hit the gym. I said don't let a few extra pounds slow you down. We all have something wrong with us. However, these are the things that make us unique, our flaws. Perfect is dull. If you want to work out to feel healthier go for it!

It's like money. A lot of men think the need money for women to be interested in them. But, we know that simply isn't true. Money allows you to lead a more interesting life, but it won't help you pick up girls. Same with losing weight. Being buff may open a few doors, but if your game isn't tight they can close just as quickly.

If you want to get laid, tighten up your game. The attitude you need to have is "so what if I have a big belly. I also have a good dick eright under it

[Satyr]

I didn't say don't hit the gym. I said don't let a few extra pounds slow you down. We all have something wrong with us. However, these are the things that make us unique, our flaws. Perfect is dull. If you want to work out to feel healthier go for it!

It's like money. A lot of men think the need money for women to be interested in them. But, we know that simply isn't true. Money allows you to lead a more interesting life, but it won't help you pick up girls. Same with losing weight. Being buff may open a few doors, but if your game isn't tight they can close just as quickly.

If you want to get laid, tighten up your game. The attitude you need to have is "so what if I have a big belly. I also have a good dick eright under it

And that's the false promise of the Community. There's a reason why the Community is an offshoot from the self-improvement community, because it's about self-improvement. If you think the Community is solely about tightening up your game, then you're only seeing part of the equation...the smallest part of the equation.

Game is really, truly all encompassing. Sure, its primary focus is on how you interact with women, but there is so much more to Game than just talking to girls. In my opinion, those guys that solely focus on their interactions with women (i.e. tactics, techniques, gambits, routines, etc.) are training to become pick-up artists. Which, if that's what you want, is fine. But, understand that if you set your sights on being a PUA, then you're creating an artificial ceiling for yourself. Being a great PUA will get you women, but the quality of those women will be capped out at roughly the same 'value' that you, as a man, possess.

Instead, I think one should focus on becoming a better MAN. When you focus on becoming a better MAN instead of a better PUA, then the sky truly is the limit for you. Being a better man means improving every single aspect of your life, including interacting with women. If you improve your wealth and health, then you'll find that your interactions with women are easier and you can attract higher quality women. Which, in my opinion, should be the end goal...to attract high quality women, not just the common bar fly.

When I first started in the Community, I dressed horribly, I was out of shape, my career was going no where, I hadn't finished my bachelor's degree, I didn't have any hobbies other than video games and watching sports. Looking back on it, it's no wonder girls stayed away from me back then. But, I came here, learned some tactics, got comfortable being around women, and I did have some success. But, I was frustrated because I wasn't happy with the quality of girls I was pulling. It seemed like I could get a hottie but she was stupid or boring or sucked in the sack or was straight up crazy OR I could pull a fun, cool chick but she wasn't all that hot. You get the idea (obviously, my definition of quality, hot, fun, cool, intelligent, etc will be vastly different from yours).

So, I started asking myself what was wrong with ME that prevented me from getting high quality chicks. My interactions with women were tight, I was comfortable around them, but I still wasn't where I wanted to be. It had to be something I was lacking. Which is when I learned how to dress, got in much, much better shape, finished my degree, became more aggressive in my career (that's why I'm Dallas because I got a job that pays almost TWICE what I was making in Houston), and started a handful of interesting hobbies (dancing lessons, MMA, and the guitar).

The interesting thing is that now I've found that I'm pulling much, much higher quality women because I'M A HIGHER QUALITY MAN. No more crazy, dysfunctional strippers for me...now, I'm nailing the hot, well-adjusted professional woman.

Just last weekend I had a hot Russian chick, who was a pin-up in a Russian calendar based on women in the nuclear energy field, insist on taking me to Del Frisco's for dinner. I've known her all of 2 weeks and she's already treating me to steak dinners. Then we went to some ultra lounge in downtown Dallas where she paid for my cover, my drinks, and even gave me cash to tip the half naked chicks poll dancing in the club (her idea not mine). She easily blew $400 that night. It was her way of thanking me for showing her a good time AND because she finds me intriguing. The first night I met her, my PUA skills allowed me to get her from a local dive bar to her bed in 3 or 4 hours. The sex was average, and I contemplated not seeing her again. But, this last weekend, the sex was nothing short of amazing. She did dirty things to me man, dirty things. And, I got her to do some things that I never imagined she'd ever do, and I bet she never thought she'd do either. PUA skills will get you laid, no doubt. But, being a MAN OF VALUE will get you steak dinners, someone to cater after you, someone that tries to impress you, someone that showers you with generosity, and someone that will do whatever it is that you want them to do just to please you.

When I was just a PUA, my biggest problem was keeping a girl's interest long enough to fuck them. Now that I focused on being a better man, my biggest problem is getting the girls to leave me the fuck alone.

This idea that guys can get laid by just reciting a few lines and running some tactics is bullshit. Sure, it can, and will happen. But, you'll be pulling low quality women. If you just want a warm hole to put your dinkus, then by all means just focus on tightening your Game. But, if you want to be with a woman that makes you PROUD, then you need to become a MAN worth having.