Recovering heroin addict, chump, PUTZ
Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 1:46 amHowdy,
I'm new to this forum, but have been lurking in the shadows and reading articles on this page for a little over 2 years. The reason I finally decided to take action and join up has to do with the fact that I just got out of primary treatment for heroin addiction, and am in the slow process of picking up the pieces of my life.
I'd quit heroin on my own before, but invariably returned to it because I was the same lonely, frustrated asshole I'd always been, and dope was the only thing i'd ever encountered that made me feel okay being that way.
When I first moved to NYC about 2 years ago, I became a full blown putz. I'd memorize openers, patterns, and routines without ever thinking about what they meant, and had some success with this approach. Ultimately though, my inner game was weak; i was living a lie. All my friends decided I was a piece of shit, so I turned to drugs to dull the pain.
My sister (only sibling) died about 3 years ago (that's a year before I started heroin, for those that are math-impaired), and my life changed forever. In the year that followed, I broke up with a girlfriend of 2 years, and gave up on a promising career as a scientist to pursue electronic music. But with inner game so weak, I couldn't make anyone believe in me, and although my musical game grew stronger, I couldn't produce anything of value even to me.
Success in music, success in the game, success in recovery, and success in life have all become the same thing to me; all of these things are dependent on me not being isolated, having a strong supportive group of people to talk to. I have good friends in music, good friends in recovery, but no good friends with their head in the game. I don't feel comfortable talking about it with music friends or recovering friends, so I've turned to you: the esteemed members of the dallas PUA forums for help.
I don't live in Dallas, nor do I plan to, but I hope that in time, with your help, I can become a true PUA and contribute back to the community in whatever way I'm able.
I'm new to this forum, but have been lurking in the shadows and reading articles on this page for a little over 2 years. The reason I finally decided to take action and join up has to do with the fact that I just got out of primary treatment for heroin addiction, and am in the slow process of picking up the pieces of my life.
I'd quit heroin on my own before, but invariably returned to it because I was the same lonely, frustrated asshole I'd always been, and dope was the only thing i'd ever encountered that made me feel okay being that way.
When I first moved to NYC about 2 years ago, I became a full blown putz. I'd memorize openers, patterns, and routines without ever thinking about what they meant, and had some success with this approach. Ultimately though, my inner game was weak; i was living a lie. All my friends decided I was a piece of shit, so I turned to drugs to dull the pain.
My sister (only sibling) died about 3 years ago (that's a year before I started heroin, for those that are math-impaired), and my life changed forever. In the year that followed, I broke up with a girlfriend of 2 years, and gave up on a promising career as a scientist to pursue electronic music. But with inner game so weak, I couldn't make anyone believe in me, and although my musical game grew stronger, I couldn't produce anything of value even to me.
Success in music, success in the game, success in recovery, and success in life have all become the same thing to me; all of these things are dependent on me not being isolated, having a strong supportive group of people to talk to. I have good friends in music, good friends in recovery, but no good friends with their head in the game. I don't feel comfortable talking about it with music friends or recovering friends, so I've turned to you: the esteemed members of the dallas PUA forums for help.
I don't live in Dallas, nor do I plan to, but I hope that in time, with your help, I can become a true PUA and contribute back to the community in whatever way I'm able.