by isosceles cheese » Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:54 pm
I'm a newb here, and nobody knows me, but I'm feeling more inspired than ever before. I'm just going to talk now, to you total strangers, because this is like therapy for me at this point, because I MOTHER FUCKING MUST make this change in my life now!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've fucked up with women for a long time, and luckily my favorable looks and cool personality has instantly taken me to intense relationships via women who hit on me, because I'm afraid of women.
Well, I went to napa with a chick who was really, really cool, but but burned me off pretty bad by ignoring me. Its hit me hard for a month, and I've wanted a chick who although she was cool, I think I can "do better" on the physical level, and hopefully it will transition into a girl with a cool personality.
I've had a bunch of her wine at my house (96 points and better) from the trip. I warned her a month ago that I'd drink it if she didn't come get it. Well, I found out tonight that she blew me off for another dude, it pissed me off, so I cracked 2 bottles. It was liberating. Fuck me, for all the shit I've put myself through by some self-created mechanism where I've felt no options with women, and grabbed onto every one that was dumb enough to speak to me. I don't want 10's, i want a woman who's cool, with a personality as fucked up as mine. They're out there, statistics dictate this constant.
Well now, things must change, or my life is going to be just as fucking miserable as its been since I was 10 years old. I have to make myself go out on friday and saturday and talk to women. Sure, I may annoy them and I may fail miserably, but rather than get upset this time because women blew me off, i'll celebrate because I tried. Sure, I've tried before, but I've never tried with more than one girl per night...well more like one girl every six months. I've always gone home sad, like a bitch. So I'm going to start small this weekend, I'm going to open on 2 sets, fuck, maybe even a 2 set, which I've never done before.
Talking and whining to my very few friends is just as useless as its always been. I have to change. My skills aren't honed, my game is probably pathetic, btu for the first time in my life, I'm going to try. At some point frustration must overcome fear, or its going to be just like this, every time, for the rest of my life. I'm tired of being the guy who always shows up to hang out with my buddy and his girl. I absolutely must do this.
I hope this carries over to the weekend. I will come back to this thread friday night, before I go out, read this, and rationalize the only answer to my frustration and pain. Doing nothing will not work anymore. I can learn it when I'm 27, 50, or never. I'm going to learn it now and choose, rather than wait to be chosen. I'm tired of being the fat kid on the playground. I will learn to be the badass motherfucker my friends say I am.
/faggot rant
