Howzit? I will become a mPUA, cause I've got to mister
Posted: Fri May 18, 2012 12:56 amI live in Rockwall but work in Carrollton for a company who works with professional sports and athletes’ charities. I mention this because I am around beautiful women every day with no idea how to attract them; mainly because I was married for 21 years and didn’t see a reason to attract another woman…hell it was hard enough to please one woman, why pursue more? Now that is AFC thinking ; )
Short history: I read The Game, MM and currently reading Magic Bullets and my eyes were opened. Recently divorced after 21 years of marriage, I realized that every girl I ever dated or got with was a result of being pursued; not me pursuing them. I played football at the U of Hawaii, go Warriors, and I guess I was an AMOG even though I didn't know what that was at the time. In short I had no game but I think the longest I have gone without a girl in my life was a couple of weeks since I was 16. Got married young while in college, knocked her up, lol. More recently, I started reading PUA books in attempts to understand women. All the nice guy b.s. being absorbed by AFCs wasn't working for me. I was a cocky punk when I met my wife and treated her like crap through courtship...this continued into our marriage to some degree as I felt trapped but she never threatened to leave. One day she confessed to an emotional affair, no physical stuff with a coworker because things were bad with us and she felt starved for attention. My pride took over and I started to control, manipulate and act on fear of losing her.
I became open with my feelings having no idea how to do that in women’s language and shared every thought...we started to grow apart. After we separated, I became an AFC big time. I loved bombed her, spent money on her, chased her, and really poured out my "true" feelings for her thinking this is what she wanted. This won her back in a sense...we started hanging out all the time, spending the night together and fucking again. I thought we were headed back together but then I saw emails and texts to old high school guy friends and coworkers. I had a choice to make...kick the shit out of these guys, kind of tough as one lives in Maryland, expose her "sins" to all our loved ones and kids, or learn what the hell attracts a woman and try to understand how they think without losing my mind or becoming a metrosexual. Enter Style, Mystery, and others who took the blinders off my eyes.
In short I realized I had no idea nor did I ever really desire to learn the art of pleasing a woman emotionally; thought sexually was enough. My pride is damaged from the divorce but we still see each other all of the time. The books say that as long as I am the current “Hammer,” I will never win her attraction and faithfulness. I fought accepting that for 2 years during our separation but now I have accepted that as gospel. I am in the friends zone with benefits but I don’t have her heart. Further, I realize that I need to forget about her and move on if I am ever to have a chance for a romantic relationship with her. I need to reinvent myself and become comfortable around women and enter a few jealousy plot lines. It still baffles me that she will become more attracted to me if I am “preselected,” because thinking of her as preselected by other men makes me want to gag and makes her much less attractive. This is a future problem that I foresee because if she is with other guys, I won’t want her. Perhaps I can get some feedback on that on this forum; insecurity? Hell, its just a gross thought.
I am determined to learn this and get really good. It will take leaving my comfort zone and being humble enough to learn from guys who have internalized the skills and knowledge I desire. Not sure if this matters or not but full disclosure necessitates that I may be doing this to win back my ex-wife. I have one-itis big time but I think I am finally ready to move forward and accept whatever the future holds; with or without her. Chances are that if she wants me back, I may lose all interest because of the hurt and resentment. Time will tell.
My plan is to take advice from the books and see this as a process to become competent not confident. Play the game like a video game mastering each level without taking the outcome to seriously. I am really taking the reading and studying my notes seriously but have yet to attempt to open a set. I would like to go out and watch some set openers and then try them myself. I learn better being shown rather than reading a how to book, but the background knowledge will be valuable.
Some openness about insecurities: I fear my age will hold me back, 44 years old but most people say I look young to mid thirties. I have embraced balding and shaved the dome and many say I have a good head for that. I had shoulder surgery and became sedentary for a few months while enjoying junk food so I need to lose the 20 pounds and get back in the gym. I let the ex have our home and moved in with my parents to help out there after my dad’s heart attack. I understand that all of these are minor according to the books but still affect confidence. The biggest hurdle is “relearning” reality as to how things really are in the world and changing my beliefs.
Strengths: Very motivated, I HAVE to learn and master this. I have been in sales and marketing and worked as a real estate investor. I was an entrepreneur for a few years and only went back to the working world to help with accountability and being alone with my thoughts during the divorce. My goal is to get back to working for myself soon. I have lived in Indiana (Chicago area), Hawaii, California for a year (college), and Texas for the past 10 years. My sister is a social butterfly and can get me into clubs and parties every weekend if I wish. I understand posturing, mastered How to win friends and influence people (comfort building and rapport), and I can talk and persuade all walks of life. I highly desire to master DHV and NLP. All of these things will make me an invaluable wing as I will be able to occupy any obstacle.
I hope to show that I am open to any and all feedback and prefer those to smart ass comments but I appreciate smart ass remarks too. Looking forward to making some new friends, who up until a few months ago, I would have thought of as sleazy skirt chasers, lol.
Hammer is a nick name I picked up playing water volleyball, I did not choose it for myself. Speaking of names, do you guys give your real names in the field or do you use your forum names? It seems like in the books, the masters use their forum names. Seems weird but hey I am determined to stay teachable.
I think Conan the Barbarian said it best when asked what the meaning of life is…To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of the women. Lol
Signed,
Future mPUA
Short history: I read The Game, MM and currently reading Magic Bullets and my eyes were opened. Recently divorced after 21 years of marriage, I realized that every girl I ever dated or got with was a result of being pursued; not me pursuing them. I played football at the U of Hawaii, go Warriors, and I guess I was an AMOG even though I didn't know what that was at the time. In short I had no game but I think the longest I have gone without a girl in my life was a couple of weeks since I was 16. Got married young while in college, knocked her up, lol. More recently, I started reading PUA books in attempts to understand women. All the nice guy b.s. being absorbed by AFCs wasn't working for me. I was a cocky punk when I met my wife and treated her like crap through courtship...this continued into our marriage to some degree as I felt trapped but she never threatened to leave. One day she confessed to an emotional affair, no physical stuff with a coworker because things were bad with us and she felt starved for attention. My pride took over and I started to control, manipulate and act on fear of losing her.
I became open with my feelings having no idea how to do that in women’s language and shared every thought...we started to grow apart. After we separated, I became an AFC big time. I loved bombed her, spent money on her, chased her, and really poured out my "true" feelings for her thinking this is what she wanted. This won her back in a sense...we started hanging out all the time, spending the night together and fucking again. I thought we were headed back together but then I saw emails and texts to old high school guy friends and coworkers. I had a choice to make...kick the shit out of these guys, kind of tough as one lives in Maryland, expose her "sins" to all our loved ones and kids, or learn what the hell attracts a woman and try to understand how they think without losing my mind or becoming a metrosexual. Enter Style, Mystery, and others who took the blinders off my eyes.
In short I realized I had no idea nor did I ever really desire to learn the art of pleasing a woman emotionally; thought sexually was enough. My pride is damaged from the divorce but we still see each other all of the time. The books say that as long as I am the current “Hammer,” I will never win her attraction and faithfulness. I fought accepting that for 2 years during our separation but now I have accepted that as gospel. I am in the friends zone with benefits but I don’t have her heart. Further, I realize that I need to forget about her and move on if I am ever to have a chance for a romantic relationship with her. I need to reinvent myself and become comfortable around women and enter a few jealousy plot lines. It still baffles me that she will become more attracted to me if I am “preselected,” because thinking of her as preselected by other men makes me want to gag and makes her much less attractive. This is a future problem that I foresee because if she is with other guys, I won’t want her. Perhaps I can get some feedback on that on this forum; insecurity? Hell, its just a gross thought.
I am determined to learn this and get really good. It will take leaving my comfort zone and being humble enough to learn from guys who have internalized the skills and knowledge I desire. Not sure if this matters or not but full disclosure necessitates that I may be doing this to win back my ex-wife. I have one-itis big time but I think I am finally ready to move forward and accept whatever the future holds; with or without her. Chances are that if she wants me back, I may lose all interest because of the hurt and resentment. Time will tell.
My plan is to take advice from the books and see this as a process to become competent not confident. Play the game like a video game mastering each level without taking the outcome to seriously. I am really taking the reading and studying my notes seriously but have yet to attempt to open a set. I would like to go out and watch some set openers and then try them myself. I learn better being shown rather than reading a how to book, but the background knowledge will be valuable.
Some openness about insecurities: I fear my age will hold me back, 44 years old but most people say I look young to mid thirties. I have embraced balding and shaved the dome and many say I have a good head for that. I had shoulder surgery and became sedentary for a few months while enjoying junk food so I need to lose the 20 pounds and get back in the gym. I let the ex have our home and moved in with my parents to help out there after my dad’s heart attack. I understand that all of these are minor according to the books but still affect confidence. The biggest hurdle is “relearning” reality as to how things really are in the world and changing my beliefs.
Strengths: Very motivated, I HAVE to learn and master this. I have been in sales and marketing and worked as a real estate investor. I was an entrepreneur for a few years and only went back to the working world to help with accountability and being alone with my thoughts during the divorce. My goal is to get back to working for myself soon. I have lived in Indiana (Chicago area), Hawaii, California for a year (college), and Texas for the past 10 years. My sister is a social butterfly and can get me into clubs and parties every weekend if I wish. I understand posturing, mastered How to win friends and influence people (comfort building and rapport), and I can talk and persuade all walks of life. I highly desire to master DHV and NLP. All of these things will make me an invaluable wing as I will be able to occupy any obstacle.
I hope to show that I am open to any and all feedback and prefer those to smart ass comments but I appreciate smart ass remarks too. Looking forward to making some new friends, who up until a few months ago, I would have thought of as sleazy skirt chasers, lol.
Hammer is a nick name I picked up playing water volleyball, I did not choose it for myself. Speaking of names, do you guys give your real names in the field or do you use your forum names? It seems like in the books, the masters use their forum names. Seems weird but hey I am determined to stay teachable.
I think Conan the Barbarian said it best when asked what the meaning of life is…To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of the women. Lol
Signed,
Future mPUA