Fucking bitch...

[Guest]

[quote1213962257=chirojeremy]

Rhody, thanks for the encouragement. If I was not a Christian and have such high standards for my marriage and my kids I would say you are right. Right now, to be honest I should not even be thinking of other women, but I guess this is me not wanting to accept what I feel is inevitable and preparing for when divorce does happen.

[/quote1213962257]
Again, I sound harsh, but I want to help you open your eyes and move on.

I have a kid too. I take great care of him. He has two families now and he's supremely happy. In fact, he is so much better off with two parents who love him and take advantage of their time with him than he was before.

You started out this thread by calling her a fucking bitch. Now you're a Christian who values the sanctity of marriage and the importance of family. But you also admit that you fall in love too easily. You're spinning your wheels. You put too much of your value into the other person because you don't see much value in yourself. Take a look back and see if that might be the problem with your marriage. And I'm not saying that to convince you to go fix it. I'm telling you to break free and become an awesome guy on you own, for yourself and for you children. Being a superior man has to start with you. There are some shitty guys who have been married for 50 years, and there are some truly amazing guys who were married for a few years and it didn't work out. Who you are does not depend on your marriage.

So this is my point. When you accept it, forgive her, and take bold action to regain your life, this is when you will begin to have the inner game you need to succeed at this.

[Guest]

I might also throw in that from you original message she's the one that sought out the divorce attorney... at the other point the other person is bailing on the marriage, I think it's ok to not feel guilty about it. My personal take on it since I'm in a similar situation is that I'm using this time to work on my skills and my own personal issues... I'm not particularly worried about getting a woman in bed at the moment (tho I can't say I would reject a woman I'm attracted to if she were into me), but preparing so that when the divorce is final and that is a serious goal I'll be ready to roll ;) So you don't have to have your goal in doing this to be breaking your marital vows if that's what you're worried about. A lot of the PUA stuff is just about learning to be a very social person who attracts people naturally, and that's something you can work on without sleeping with women if you're worried about the christianity/marital vow thing :)

Also, don't be surprised if she has visited a divorce attorney that she's probably thinking of other men ;) at the least.

[Guest]

All of you are 100% right. But I have made a committment to be here to work it out if it goes to that. By me doing this I pretty much feel it is giving me a head start and preparing me to get over her much quicker with less pain. I know it is a conflict, but I want to avoid divorce at all costs. You all are right about the inner game, etc. I am going to counseling 3x per week to try to resolve my issues and be a great man for my children and future relationships for myself and for her. If she is not in the picture I still want to do it for my children and myself. I will address the other things mentioned later when the time comes. I know I am a great guy. I know when I graduate from school and have a successful practice I will be worth even more. Right now I am just a student who is going to school to be a doctor though so I feel like I attribute my self worth more not to other people but in my personal circumstances. Whether it be money, furniture, car, job, weight etc